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|Written by Miss Smartypants|
|Monday, 11 January 2010 00:00|
Dear Miss Smartypants,
My best friend/roommate has a new girlfriend. We were all pretty excited when he found someone new since it's been a few years now since his last serious girlfriend. The thing is, now that they've been together a few months, I can see that I don't like her. She's dumb as a post, has a terrible (non)sense of humour, and they have the loudest porn sex imaginable. I have no idea what to do about this. She's just not good enough for him. He does seem happy enough, though. Do I say something to my friend?
No, Seriously, The Loudest Sex Imaginable
Dear It Could Be Worse,
Short of a situation in which you believe/fear/know your friend is being abused, there's never any point in telling a friend that you are not so keen on his/her partner. Don't lie about it if asked directly, but otherwise don't bother. Your friend does not want to hear that someone that s/he has chosen to spend a good deal of time with isn't up to your standards, and it won't win you any points. At worst, it may end up driving a wedge between you and your friend should the relationship prove serious and long term.
As for the porn sex, speak up, my good man! No one should have to endure that soundtrack on the regular. Take your roomie aside at the first possible opportunity, and tell him that you're sure he doesn't realize this, but you can hear him having sex every single time he does because they are so loud. Your friend should be properly embarrassed into being a bit more respectful. If you need to bring this up more than once to put a damper on them, do so.
But it could be worse: I once had a roommate who not only had loud sex but whose boyfriend would also yell key phrases that made it clear in which position they were having sex.
Tell Them Twice,