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|Written by Miss Smartypants|
|Monday, 17 January 2011 00:00|
Dear Miss Smartypants,
My fiancé and I are busy planning our wedding, and we've run into that age-old: how to tell people we don't want gifts. Everything I've read says it would be rude to put "no gifts" in the card, but seriously no gifts. We live together. We have everything. The village doesn't need to outfit our house. So what do I do? A cheesy "your presence is gift enough"? How will I let people know at my wedding not to bring gifts?!?!
Because I can't just see using a nut pick
Dear Don't Dis the Pick,
First off, let me just say a big THANK YOU for recognizing that you don't need things and thus not asking for them. There's nothing wrong with gift registries, per se, but it's nice to see that two people who don't need 300 count sheets are registering for them just 'cause they can.
That said, here's the first thing you do: tell everyone you know that you don't want gifts. Start with your parents, wedding party, and anyone else involved in the wedding. These are the people who your guests will turn to to find out where you are registered, so they are your first line of defence against unwanted gifts. You can give them all the cheesy "you presence is gift enough" lines to keep by the phone. Consider designating a charity or two that is close your heart(s), so, if people really push, your moms can say that a small donation in your name will be greatly appreciated.
Two: Really consider putting a cheesy line on your invitation somewhere. Okay, let's back this up. It's considered rude to put anything about gifts in the invitation because it's rude to expect a gift. No one deserves presents. That's why we call them gifts. (Cheddar, anyone?) But, customarily, people bring gifts to weddings -- often lavish ones. Better to head them off at the pass than became the proud owner of three beautiful, expensive, unnecessary espresso machines.
Three: Buy some thank you cards. You're going to end up with some gifts no matter what you do, so accept that now. Show some gratitude.
I definitely encourage the charity choice...
especially if you don't need anything. Often charities have wedding registries for just this type of situation, because this is often the case more and more as people marry later in life and do not need the typical housewares gifts. Check out UNICEF Canada's wedding registry - https://www.shopunicef.ca/ec/Portal.aspx?CN=204278D0692D&MN=739244089180