Ask Miss Smartypants - January 25, 2010 |
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| Written by Miss Smartypants |
| Monday, 25 January 2010 00:00 |
Art: Nina Charest
Dear Miss Smartypants, A few months ago, someone at my boyfriend's workplace complained to HR about his better benefits and pay. They were what he negotiated with his contract. Unfortunately, he didn't get it in writing, so the company felt the need to cut in order to appease the complainant (that's a question for another column, though). My boyfriend checked into who lodged the complaint and discovered that it was one of his friends. I mean, good friends. Helped him move, listened to him for weeks after a bad break up, the whole nine yards. A couple of weeks ago, we ran into the ex-friend while out shopping, and imagine my surprise to see how buddy-buddy they are again. After we left, I asked my boyfriend what was going on, and it turns out that it wasn't even the friend who complained! All these months I've been harping about what a douchebag he is and giving him the death glare (even at the store!), and it was for no reason. I still see him socially, and I'm wondering what to do. Apologize for my behaviour? Explain what I thought? Do nothing? Can You Retract the Stink Eye? Dear Stinky, You shouldn't do anything. Apologizing often seems like the right thing to do when you've wronged someone, but it's not always the best thing. First, you should get on the horn to anyone you've badmouthed him to and explain that you got the wrong end of the stick so that story doesn't continue to spread. Next, simply go back to however you used to treat him before this all happened. It's possible that he doesn't know why you had the sudden shift in attitude, so just let him shrug it off as temporary. If you were super close (and it doesn't sound like you were) and he obviously noticed a marked difference in your behaviour, an explanation may be warranted. Otherwise, let it lay. Kindly, Miss Smartypants Got problems? Send yours to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
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