Ask Miss Smartypants - July 2008

Miss Smartypants by Nina Charest

Dear Miss Smartypants,

I have a horrible roommate. We've been good friends for years now but since moving in together last August my place has become a disaster zone. He only works part-time and never cleans. He's told his parents that he's in school part-time, but he spends all his free time playing his Xbox 360. He hasn't paid his rent on time in months. All his free cash goes to videogames, beer, and pizza (the boxes are stacked against the couch). Last month his mom called up to apologize for him and paid his rent for him.

Despite all this he really is a cool guy. He lets me play video games whenever, keeps the music down while I'm studying, and is always up for going out. But the place is has become a sty, I can't bring girls back here. Finally I told him I had it the other day when he came home with a cat despite the fact that I'm allergic. The cat's gone now but I'm debating whether or not he should go, too. I don't want to wreck a good friendship but can't see myself going on like this. I'm sure it's affecting my marks.

What do I do?

At odds with roommate

Dear Sack Up,

Living with friends is rough. Even if you did manage to sit him down and establish some house rules, the way he’s been living thus far would suggest that you’re not going to have the easiest time getting him to stick to plan. You say you moved in together last August, which means your standard one-year lease will be up in the next month or so. Sit your friend down and tell that while he’s a cool guy, you don’t want to resign the lease with him. When he asks why (and he probably will), explain exactly what you told me: that while you appreciate the fact that he’s good at keeping the music down when you are studying, the place is a sty, and he’s often late on rent. He might get pissed, he might throw out a bunch of habits you have that annoy him to hurt you, or he might reveal that he doesn’t want to keep living with you either. Then again, he might promise to straighten up and fly right. If he does, and you want to take the risk of believing him, make sure that you set up specific standards that you want him to follow (such as placing the pizza boxes in the garbage when they are empty). If you end up going your separate ways, housing-wise, make sure you ask about future roommates’ housekeeping habits to ensure that they are consistent with your own or, if you can afford it, consider living on your own. Chances are that if you are straight forward and avoid a big confrontation, he’ll still let you play Halo 3.

Good luck,

Dear Miss Smartypants,

I've been seeing this new girl for about 4 weeks now. I really like her, but something's happened and she refuses to return my calls. It started last weekend when my parents called telling me that my old dog, Mr. Snufflefoot, had passed away. My family got him when I was 2, and I honestly can't remember a time without him. He was always around, sleeping next to the couch, chasing birds, or following me each day as I walked to school. Naturally I was very distraught and it's been on my mind a lot. When I called up my gf and told her about it, she could tell I was pretty broken up about it and came over right away. She was really sweet and supportive, and one thing kinda led to another. But as we neared the end of "the act", instead of calling out her name I called out my old dog's. To make matters much, much worse I started crying uncontrollably. To say that she was stunned was an understatement and I certainly can't blame her.

Once I stopped sobbing, she turned to me and simply said she had to go. Before I could try to explain things she had put on her clothes and rushed out the door. I'm sure she thinks I'm a freak now. It's been almost a week and she won't return any of my calls.

The odd thing is that I do feel a lot better about Snuffs now. Nothing like this has happened since my first time with a girl (which I'm sure a lot more people can relate to than you'd think). I'm sure I've gotten over my loss, but how do I prove to her that this won't happen again?

Dear Dog,

Wait, did you just say "Snuffs" or actually "Mister Snufflefoot"? I guess it doesn’t really matter. The only way to prove to her that this isn’t going to happen again is to, you know, not have it happen again. Since she came over and saw you all broken up, it’s not like she doesn’t know what happened or like you can play it off as something else. Try to arrange a face to face meeting to talk about it what happened. Explain that you were in a very emotional place, and reassure her that it was a once in a lifetime fluke (i.e. don’t mention that it happened to you your first time). If she won’t meet with you, send her a note with your explanation. If she doesn’t respond, you are going to have to accept that your relationship has reached its logical conclusion.

Better luck next time,

Got problems? Sure you do. Send to them to Miss Smartypants at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

© 2008 Miss Smartypants; licensee (Cult)ure Magazine.
This is an Open Access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0), which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original work is properly cited.

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