Ask Miss Smartypants - September 28, 2009 |
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| Written by Miss Smartypants |
| Monday, 28 September 2009 00:00 |
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I've been working abroad for the last few months. A few weeks before my return date, I started getting back in touch with people I would want to see when I hit native shores. Things got pretty flirty between one girl and me. I thought things would continue in that vein when I landed, but no. Within a week, she was dating some guy she picked up in a bar! A few weeks later, they were officially an item. I really thought things were going somewhere with her, and I don't like being around her when they are together. For the most part, that's easy to come by. But she's planning a big BBQ in a few weeks as a going-away for me, and her boyfriend's going to be there to. I don't want him there, so I told her that. She told me that he was already invited, and she wasn't going to uninvited him. I really do not want to be there with the two of them. Can I bow out? Disappointed in Dating Dear Disappointing, Dude, how old are you? I get that you feel let down, and I'm not going to tell you not to feel how you feel. But I am going to tell you some other things: first, flirting does not a relationship make. Yes, it very often indicates that someone is interested in you. But it could also be that the girl's just a flirt or that you misinterpreted friendly as flirty. Second, you need to learn to deal with the fact that things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to. You flirted with some girl, and a month later, you can't stand to be around her boyfriend? You're not in love with her. You didn't even go out on a date with her. Let it go, man. No, you cannot "bow out." Grow up, go to the party that is being thrown in your honour, and accept that she's made her choice. Who knows -- you might even meet someone there. Maturely, Miss Smartypants Got problems? Send 'em to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
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