If I Could Be Who I Wanted To Be

Sometimes we wish we could be someone else. Or, if not someone else entirely, at least pick up a characteristic from someone else. We look in the mirror and say, “I wish I could be more [ . . . ].” Fortunately, movies offer a plethora of role models from whom we can pick up scraps of new identities. Whether you want to weave an entirely new person out of these scraps or just a pick up a few qualities is up to you.

You’re: Wishy-washy, a bit of a dreamer, scatterbrained.
You wish you were: More focused, on point, determined.
You need to be more like: Max Fischer, Rushmore

When Mr. Blume (Bill Murray) asks Max (Jason Schwartzman) what the secret is, Max has the answer ready for him, “I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then do it for the rest of your life.” For Max, it’s attending Rushmore Academy. He’s involved in an astounding number of clubs, plays two sports, and has his own extension.

Key Quote: "I saved Latin. What did you ever do?"
Downside: Max initially only has the capacity for monomaniacal love, and when he transfers it to a teacher at Rushmore (Olivia Williams), he ends up expelled. When that love turns to revenge, Max ends up arrested. Knowing when to pull back isn’t exactly his forte.
Advanced study: Danny Ocean (George Clooney), Ocean’s Eleven. After all, Danny gets the cash and the girl.

You’re: Soft, overly sensitive
You wish you were: More indifferent, less caring
You need to be more like: Daria Morgendorffer, Daria

Daria’s not strictly from movies, although she does have two (this one, and this one) of her own. Even so, no one does above-it-all apathy better than Ms. Morgendorffer. Daria’s peers are exactly the air heads she thinks they are, so she gets through her days by not caring about any of them. She still manages to end up ahead with a best friend, a crush, and, later, a boyfriend. This apathy thing’s got something to it.

Key Quote: "It’s not that I have low self-esteem; I just have low esteem for others."
Downside: Of course, there’s a reason Daria only has one friend, and, when she accidentally steals her best friend’s boyfriend, Daria’s left with no one but her parents and sister to talk to. That’s no way to live.
Advanced study: Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell), Veronica Mars. Again, not strictly movies, but there are rumours of a movie (please!). Veronica excels in seeming like she doesn’t care when she cares a lot, which is definitely AP material.

You’re: Anxious, easily stressed
You wish you were: More Zen
You need to be more like: Ferris Buller, Ferris Buller’s Day Off

The great thing about John Hughes’ classic is that it provides the perfect blueprint for being more like Ferris (Matthew Broderick). The whole movie concerns Cameron (Alan Ruck)'s learning to let go and be more like his best friend, without which this picaresque picture wouldn’t have a plot to speak of. As it is, Ferris fakes sick and skips school without a plan or a care in the world. And it all works out for him, just like it he always knew it would.

Key Quote: "A) You can never go too far. B) If I'm gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that."
Downside: Actually, there isn’t much of a downside to being Ferris. Occasional sources of stress are almost immediately resolved by virtue of being Ferris.
Advanced study: The Dude (Jeff Bridges), The Big Lebowski. Granted his problems are a bit more serious, as they frequently involve kidnappings and nihilists. Also, white Russians are only for the 19+ set.

You’re: Harsh, brittle, aloof
You wish you were: More loveable, generally admired
You need to be more like: Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything...

There are people out there right now thinking, “What’s the deal with John Cusack? Why are women and 10% of men so crazy about him?” Forget everything else you’ve seen. The answer is Lloyd Dobler. Lloyd decides to go after the brainiest, best looking girl (Ione Skye) in his graduating class, and he gets her. Then, instead of discovering that she’s really shallow and that he’s been secretly in love with his best friend the entire time (who loves him, too, naturally), she turns out to be exactly as wonderful as he believed her to be. When his best friend challenges him to be not a guy but a man, that’s exactly what Lloyd does.

Key Quote: "I am looking for a dare to be great situation."
Downside: Lloyd’s a bit of a pushover when it comes to the girl to whom he gave his heart. Even that ends up working to his advantage, though, when his zero pressure approach wins her over.
Advanced study: Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Clem does awful things to her boyfriend Joel (Jim Carrey), including erasing him from her memory, and he still fights to keep her in his memory after he signs up for the same procedure. That’s lovable.

You’re: in need of not just a scrap but a personality makeover.
You wish you were: Better at everything, more kick ass.
You need to be more like: Coach Eric Taylor, Friday Night Lights

If there is one look Kyle Chandler has perfected during his run as Coach Taylor, it’s one wherein he manages to convey that he knows exactly what a team member needs, but he’s not going to give it to him because the boy needs to learn to sink or swim on his own. It’s complicated, just like everything else the Coach does. Coaching football may be his job, but there are times when you suspect that the Coach was put on this earth to shepherd these boys not only into adulthood but also into being better men.

Key Quote: "What the hell, you want a hug or something? Get out of here."
Downside: Coach occasionally struggles to shepherd his newly bratty eldest daughter (Aimee Teagarden) in the same easy manner.
Advanced study: Tami Taylor (Connie Britton), Friday Night Lights. Between them, they are going to set every teenager in West Texas straight.

Now’s the time when I should be encouraging you to go out, rent the DVDs, and pick up all the character scraps you want. But, as of this writing (Dec. 17, 2007), the writers who created those wonderful characters against whom we are lucky to model ourselves aren’t getting their due. Without Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson, I wouldn’t know that sometimes I want to grow up to be bitchin’ Max Fischer. Without the truly astonishing team over at Friday Night Lights, I wouldn’t know the Taylors as two of the most amazing, believable characters ever written. And without John Hughes, what would the 80s have been? So come the fuck on.

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

Write comment

Email Name		Title Comment smaller | bigger
		I have read and agree to the Terms of Usage. Write the displayed characters Add Comment