It is crazy that we are already down to the top 10 here. Last week, we lost Dareian, Matthew, Janelle, and Amelia. This week starts out with a tribute to Gene Kelly, who would have been 100 years old when this aired. In the audience is Gene's widow, Patricia Kelly who looks like she is not a day over 60. WTF? Yikes, the internet tells me that she was 47 years his junior, and that there was bad blood between her and at least one of his other wives. Interested. Tell me more, world. 

This week we have the All-stars coming in, thank goodness. Judges are Nigel, Mary and guest judge Benjamin Millepied (responsible for choreography in Black Swan), which is hcore. 

Tiffany and Brandon are doing a disco routine by Doriana Sanchez. I should preface this with the fact that I have never enjoyed the disco routines on this show. I don't see the draw. For their part, both Tiffany and Brandon bring a ton of energy to the routine. It is a big glittery, tricked out dance, which is actually really fun. This dance certainly elevated the genre of disco for me, which is saying something. Nigel loved it, Mary thought Tiffany set it on fire, Benjamin thought she was fearless. 

Witney and Nick take on a jazz routine by Travis Wall. Man, Travis is awesome. This routine is really different than what he usually does, but it has so much character and great staging that it totally works. Jazz can sometimes be a death-knell on this show (unless Sonya is doing it), but these two are given a great piece from Travis. Benjamin thought it was great fun, Nigel thought Witney was fully committed and lived up to both Nick and Travis, Mary thought Witney was smouldering and smoking. 

Cole and Anya are doing a cha cha cha by Dimitry Chaplin. Anya is a freaking force on the dance floor, so Cole is going to have to work to keep up with her. Ballroom dances can also be problematic on this show, but the choreography here is really fun, the music is popular, and Cole and Anya both sell the hell out of this dance. Mary thought it was totally amazing (and reveals that Anya is the reason Mary originated the phrase "Hot Tamale Train", not sure how I feel about that), but thinks Cole had some form breaks. Benjamin thinks Cole could commit to more movement, but that he did great. Nigel thinks the connection between them wasn't quite there. 

Lindsay and Jakob take on a broadway routine by Spencer Liff. This routine is kind of the worst. The choreography centres around a weak concept that Jakob is Lindsay's shadow, and way too much time is wasted with them dancing behind a screen trying to match each other's movements (it doesn't really come off well). When they come out from around the screen, it is better, but I think it still kind of sucks. Nigel thinks the routine was great, because he is dumb. Mary puts Lindsay on the Hot Tamale Train…what am I missing? I find Lindsay so boring. Benjamin thought Lindsay was musical and on top of everything. 

Will and Kathryn get to try their hand at Bollywood dancing, care of Nakul Dev Mahajan. Will kind of over performs this routine, but I think it actually works for this crazy, bright Bollywood style. The fact that he has time to mug for the camera and the audience while doing this incredibly fast routine is a feat unto itself. Mary loved it and thought Will had amazing control. Benjamin thought Will was very charming and engaging. Nigel thinks Will did over perform too, but agrees with me that it just doesn't matter here. 

Cyrus and Jaimie are doing a contemporary routine by Travis Wall. Hmm. The routine is really cool, but Cyrus does not really dance in it. This is becoming a theme with him. He walks around, occasionally carries Jaimie, and does one sort of leap thing. He just doesn't have technique, and I find myself wishing we could see this dance with a real contemporary dancer. Benjamin thinks Cyrus has raw energy. Nigel defends his own choice to take Cyrus on and continue to prop him up as an equal here, which is a little annoying. Of course we like Cyrus, but it isn't fair to someone like Matthew who was super strong in all the different styles. Mary thinks Travis challenged Cyrus, and that the result was amazing. 

Chehon and Lauren are going for a hip hop routine by Dave Scott. Chehon is way too pretty a dancer to be believable in this hip hop role. Dave Scott did choreograph a softer routine than he could have, but I think it just shows even more how much Chehon can't do this style. The routine could be really powerful if a big beasty guy was doing it, but Chehon just looks kind of feminine (not good when you are the male partner). Nigel thinks Chehon was more fluid and personable. Mary appreciated how Chehon was pushing himself, but thought it could have been funkier. Benjamin thought the performance was spontaneous and fun. 

George and Allison get a jazz routine from Tyce Diorio. Ugh. I am so worried for George. Tyce has been stinking up in the last few seasons. His group routines still manage to be decent, but I haven't liked an individual dance of his in a while. I guess the routine is ok. There is nothing wrong with George's performance, but the dance itself is weird and not that entertaining. There are a few weird parts in the song with spoken word, which really take me out of the dance. Mary thought George kept up with Allison. Benjamin thought George really moved well and that he was exceptional. Nigel thinks George's technique was tremendous, but that he couldn't live up to the character. 

Eliana and Alex get to do a Stacey Tookey contemporary routine. Finally, Eliana gets a real partner! I am excited to see this one. Ok, the routine won me over immediately with the Nancy Sinatra cover of "Bang Bang (he shot me down)". Well played, show. The dancing is also great, with Eliana's strength and control allowing for some really beautiful moving poses. The routine gets a standing O from the audience AND the judges (fully deserved). Nigel loved it, and tells the world that Eliana is the best girl (true). Mary's breath was taken away. Benjamin thinks it was filled with passion (as evidenced by the fact that Eliana is kind of weeping). 

Audrey and Twitch are doing hip hop by Dave Scott. I keep getting Audrey and Tiffany confused (still). I thought for sure one of them was gone. Audrey's styling for this routine is horrible. She looks like a Jersey hooker. The routine is supposed to be kind of vampire-y and scary, but it is lit like a humorous broadway number, and it just isn't good. Audrey struggles with the hip hop, and you can hear a very tepid reaction from the audience. Benjamin thinks Twitch outshone Audrey. Mary liked the choreography, and was engaged by Audrey. Nigel also thinks Audrey could have gone further in the character. Nigel also thinks we'll see this routine in the finale, and I sure hope not. It sucked. 

We move right on to the dancers who are in danger, and for the girls it is Witney and Audrey. Last week, Witney did the weird Mia Michaels "I love a gay guy" routine, and Audrey did the weird Mia Michaels "my dad was a song and dance man" routine. Chehon and George are the bottom two guys. Chehon was the gay guy of Mia's dreams (with Witney) and George got to do the assisted run. Nigel asks everyone to do solos, which they do. Chehon's solo is better than we have ever seen him in the competition, I will give him that. I think Chehon and Audrey are out. Chehon's dances last week and this week weren't strong, and Audrey wasn't strong this week. Plus, Nigel has a bones for Witney. 

Judges? Nigel says it isn't unanimous, but they will be saving Witney. I called it, y'all. He also sends George into the great beyond, which I didn't see coming. Nigel says it is because Chehon's solos are so good, but I am surprised because his dances in the show have never been close to that good. 

Bonus Rondes

• Fun Cher Fact. Sonny Bono wrote "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)". And yet his baby wouldn't shoot him down, he would run into a tree and die while skiing. Oh, irony!
  
  
• Eliana was amazing tonight. She is really in a class of her own here (I speak of both the dudes and the ladies). 
  
  
• Who is in danger next week? George might be in trouble; Tyce's routines have killed many a promising dancer on this show. 
  
  
• Cat looked gorgeous and sparkly tonight. I also liked the casual hair. She is divine.
  
  
• This whole ruse about whether or not we will get to see solos is dumb. It is obviously pre-planned so that the show runs the right length.  

Smell ya later, Janelle. 

Major apologies for how behind we are here. I have been away. We pick back up after a two week hiatus for the Olympics (and my absence on top of that). I miss the Olympics, y'all. Four weeks ago, I thought that Janelle deserved to be in the bottom, and I still do, of course. Tiffany and George also had to deal with a crappy NappyTabs routine. We will find out who gets ousted from those performances at the end of this show, which is ENDLESSLY CONFUSING. Cat introduces some nonsense that I don't care to talk about, and then shows us a pretty cute picture of NappyTabs' new little baby. She also shares that this entire episode is a tribute to Mia Michaels, who has choreographed some of this show's most beautiful routines. Mama Mia is in the audience (with her crazy hair), and we learn that tonight's show will feature 7 recreations of Mia's most famous routines. This should be fun. 

The guest judges tonight are two founders of some sort of ballet thing (I was ignoring it because I thought it was just a promo), they are the "Ballet Boys", Michael and Billy. 

Due to the limitations of time and the fact that I am so far behind on recaps (classic me, right guys?), I am not going to spend too much time talking about group routines anymore. I haven't the time. Quickly, this one is pretty cool. 

Eliana and Cyrus are up first, and they are doing "the door" routine originated by Twitch and Katee. They struggle in rehearsals because the serious and sexy nature of the dance isn't really working. I don't think it really works in the dance, either. It also doesn't help that Cyrus doesn't really dance in it, he just walks around while Eliana does all the work. Cat hilariously gets all mad at Cyrus for his treatment of Eliana in the dance. Judges' comments (in overview form this week): Cyrus isn't a very good dancer, Eliana is amazing. 

Tiffany and George get their shot next, and they will be recreating Katee and Joshua's "hometown glory" routine. This is the one with that badass assisted running thing. Hcore, people. I did see the original of this routine, and I think Tiffany and George are able to live up to it. Pretty damn good. Judges comments: they freaking killed it, but sometimes were performing two solos. George was finally able to shine. 

Amelia and Will are next, and I am excited to see them perform some Mia Michaels. I forgot how much I enjoy Will. He is so chubby (for a dancer, and not at all). They have to dance something called "the butt dance". Yeesh. I haven't seen this one before, and it is a little weird. Amelia is styled like a coked-out lady of the evening (particularly her hair); I don't know if that was the intent. She is also wearing some really strange butt cover (The Peanut Gallery's term), and when her little skirt flips up it is very distracting. I guess the dance is cool, but it is also really weird. Judges: Nigel is a pervert, who really liked the original butt. Mary wins me over by saying "bum". A proper lady. 

Janelle and Dareian are dancing to "the bed" routine originated by Kherington and Twitch. Janelle tells Mia Michaels that her relationship is having problems, and I audibly boo. Mia Michaels doesn't give one shit about you, honey, and neither do I. Do other people have this much dislike for Janelle, or is it just me? Given this bias, I do think that Dareian is the better dancer here, but I always do. Janelle is just a cliched dancer. Judges: Dareian's one foot is the worst. Janelle's hair is more interesting than her dancing. Dareian's technique is stronger than Twitch, but he lacks the passion. 

Audrey and Matthew will be dancing a memorial dance for Mia's dad originated by Lacey and someone I missed because I was explaining to PG that Lacey dyed her hair a trashy blonde when she moved over to Dancing with the Stars. Sorry people, these are the breaks this week. The dance is light and pretty, but Matt's costume is distracting because his suit doesn't fit. Judges: Mary takes it to a very personal place by talking about her father's lung cancer diagnosis, and it is a little hard to watch. Judges on the whole didn't love Matthew. Nigel asks the dancers weird questions about when Mia's father died and who he was (mostly weird because they clearly don't know the answers), by way of making the point that they kind of botched it up. Matthew says that Mia's dad was the Marlborough Man, which research confirms, but it is so strange. Nigel says he was a "song and dance man", as if that is something people know about. It ends very awkwardly.

Witney and Chehon get to follow that delight. They will be doing the "bench" routine by Travis Wall and Heidi. The dance is decent, Chehon is a very strong dancer. I don't love Witney, and I don't think she brought as much to the dance as others could have. Judges: the technique was strong, but the story was less strong (and the story is a long and personal one about how Mia fell in love with a gay guy, which we have to hear through Nigel). 

Lindsay and Cole are up next, and will be dancing "the addiction" dance originated by Kayla and Kupono. The Peanut Gallery rightfully points out that the song here, "Gravity" by Sarah Bareilles, has lost most of its gravitas because now she only pictures Pierce Hawthorne double-dutching. Cole is really bringing it to this routine; he is really strong and controlled, to a frightening level (which works because he is drugs). Lindsay does less well, but I don't like her much either (man, I am really hatin' on the ladies tonight). I guess she isn't terrible, but Cole was really damn good. Judges: Loved it. It is Mia's best routine, and they were great. Cole scared the knickers off Grampy Nigel. Apparently the Lindsay hate was just me, so I will scale it back. 

After those dances, we head over to the elimination centre, where we learn that George, Dareian, and Matthew are in the bottom 3 for the guys. Amelia, Janelle, and Lindsay are the bottom three for the girls. Yikes. George and Matthew are both strong dancers, and are certainly stronger than Cyrus. All 6 of the dancers will dance a solo, mostly because the show has that much time left. I am sure the judges have already picked who they will save (they only get to save one guy and one girl, so 4 people will be going home tonight). 

The judges choose to save Lindsay and George, which means we say goodbye to Amelia, Janelle, Matthew and Dareian.  

More assisted running 

• Hey, FOX, telling people that The New Normal is brought to us by the creator of Glee will not make them watch it. #justsayin
  
  
• One thing that didn't work as well as it could have in the show is the "favourite dances" angle. You would think fans would like to see these recreations, but we are still so early in the competition that not all of the dancers are great. These routines became famous because of the choreography AND the talent of the people who danced them (at different points in the competition). Almost all of the dances tonight didn't live up to the original, and I think that is why. 
  
  
• I am so glad to see Janelle go. She sucked. I am sad that Matthew had to leave, but it isn't a shocker given the routine that the voting was based on last week (this terrible format means that I had to look up what that was, a lackluster salsa). 
  
  
•  The Peanut Gallery is thrilled that Amelia was dumped, and I am afraid I have to agree. She never performed beyond her created persona of being "cute and quirky", which isn't talent. I am excited to see Will paired with someone better. 
  
  
• The show REALLY wants Cyrus to win, don't they? I am tired of him not dancing because he doesn't know how. Time to kick him off (but let him come on the tour to dance his crazy robot stuff, which is awesome).
  
  
• Based on this week's eligible dancers, I think Tiffany and Whitney might be in trouble, along with Chehon and Cyrus (Cyrus won't be, but he should be). 

Last week (okay, four weeks ago, so sorry about the delay here), four dancers we didn't really care about were eliminated. Who will go home this week (based on last week's dances, it is still a bit strange)? We start the week off with another pre-taped performance, where all of the dancers are dressed like Charlie Chaplin, and the whole thing is in black and white, save for one bright red umbrella. The style of the dance isn't super interesting..it is sort of slow and rhythmic. I really just stared at the red umbrella the whole time, wondering how it was filmed and processed. The look of the routine was fun, but I really didn't take in much of the dance. 

Cat Deeley looks particularly gorgeous tonight. She has really fun old Hollywood glam hair, a deep burgundy lip colour, and a sleek black dress. Judges tonight are Nigel and Mary, as usual, along with guest judge Christina Applegate. This is exciting, Applegate was a strong judge last season, and she used to be a dancer (she co-founded the Pussycat Dolls, strangely enough). 

Tiffany and George

Oh my lord, these poor dancers. They have to dance a truly horrible CrappyTabs hip hop routine about babysitting. I audibly "ugh"ed when they explained the routine, and then again when I saw the horrifying NappyTabs set pieces for a hip hop routine about babies. Their costumes are likewise hideous. Nigel thought it was great, because he is an idiot. He does say he wishes that the hip hop was grungier. Mary thinks it was amazing, but I don't hear much of what she is saying because I am trying to figure out what on god's green earth she is wearing. It is like a denim v-neck, sleeveless tee, but with sparkly shoulder pads that are poking out of the sleeve holes. For real! Christina liked it, but thought that their dance could have been "soupier", by which she means more fluid and rhythmic. 

Amber and Brandon

This is a new partnership this week because Amber lost her partner Nick, and Brandon lost Janaya in the slaughter last week. There dance this week is a Ray Leeper jazz routine. From the first few beats of the song ("Dr. Feelgood" by Aretha Franklin), I can tell this routine is going to be pretty damn good. Amber and Brandon have a ton of chemistry, right off the bat. They also fill the awesome music with tons of emotion and really strong dance movement. The styling of the routine works, and the choreography is great. Christina gets bleeped, but I read on twitter that she just said "Jesus that was good". She thinks that Amber has a ton of gut and passion, and that Brandon was really strong. Mary is fanning herself, and says that there was some "soul in that bowl". She thinks Amber really had a great soulful performance, and that Brandon was super masculine. Nigel calls it "baby making choreography", and then makes a really awkward joke about NappyTabs that the audience doesn't understand. Classic Nigel.

Dareian and Janelle

These two have a cha cha by Pasha. There are a lot of issues with this routine, and none of them are to do with the dance. The first problem is that the cha cha is to the Carly Rae Jepsen song, "Call Me Maybe". It just doesn't fit with the dance style. The next problem, and it is a big one, is that Dareian is wearing the most distracting jeans in the world. The Peanut Gallery and I spent the whole dance trying to figure out what the fuzz was going on with them, and we still aren't sure. They look like mom jeans, with a balloon seat or something. The rise is really unattractive, and there is bunching in the junk area as well. They are just the worst jeans ever. Pair that with the fact that Janelle is in a full-out cha cha dress and it is very odd. I also didn't see any of the dance because of that and because of the nauseating camera work. Mary thought they had a good tricks, but both of them danced it poorly. Their feet were wrong. Christina thought Dareian had some really weird hand movements that were distracting. Nigel agrees with both of his fellow judges, and also says that Janelle sex-appeal didn't come through. Nigel also thinks they weren't connected with each other, which is key in ballroom. 

Lindsay and Cole

These two have a contemporary routine by Mandy Moore, who is almost always strong. The dance is very good, and Lindsay really holds her own in a contemporary piece. The lighting is very cool for the dance (kind of a sepia effect), but the camera work is just terrible again. We are too close to the dancers to really see what is happening, and the angle we are seeing it from is not great. Nigel compliments the lighting department (and congratulates them on their Emmy nod), and says that Lindsay is making great strides. He also calls Cole a genius for his precise placement and control. Mary thinks that Lindsay has the magic that Witney has, and that Cole is astounding for how he has picked up the different styles. Christina compliments Cole's technique, and Lindsay's ability to emote through her dance. 

Amelia and Will

These two have a Mandy Moore jazz routine, and Mandy falls in love with Will and keeps making him dance with her in rehearsal. The routine is very quirky, and I found Amelia's character a little distracting. She is just sort of smiling like a goon the whole time, and I am not sure why. Maybe it is just that the dance didn't have enough character built into it, but whatever Amelia is doing, it seems to be jiving with the choreography instead of complimenting it. Christina calls these two a dream team, and says that they really embrace the choreography. Nigel didn't like the routine, and thought they were kind of working against each other. Mary didn't think it was their strongest routine, but they are still at a high level. 

Audrey and Matthew 

These two get to dance a salsa by Liz Leera (who I don't know that we have seen before). They struggle with the tricks during the rehearsal. The routine starts out weirdly slow, and they take quite a while to get into hold. They also keep breaking hold throughout the routine, which takes away from any momentum they are building. The choreography isn't good, much of it is way too slow for salsa. Mary loves them, but they didn't have a good dance today. Christina thinks that the music was distracting and that it made things look clunky. Nigel agrees that it was all just too slow, and that it wasn't a good dance for them. He also says that the choreography was good, but I think that was a lie. 

Witney and Chehon

These two get to dance a Stacey Tookey contemporary number. The dance is to the Whitney Houston version of "I Will Always Love You", which is a really big song to perform against. I don't think the pair of them necessarily succeed. Chehon is suffering from what I will now call "Nick face", where he is trying SO hard to make us know that he feels angsty. I just didn't love it. The entire auditorium gives them a standing O, as do the judges. Christina is teary and loved every part of it. Mary breaks down about Whitney Houston, because she is a little bit nutty. She loved the routine, and calls it the defining moment of their journey. Nigel is glad they saved these two because the routine was so good, and I am going to rematch it to see if my opinion changes. 

Cyrus and Eliana

These two have a CrappyTabs hip hop routine where Cyrus is supposed to turn ballerina Eliana into a Robot. We'll see how this going to go. This routine is so much better than the early CrappyTabs number. It helps that Eliana is an extremely capable and adaptable dancer, and that this is Cyrus' wheelhouse. But beyond that, the dance is just edgier, dirtier, and doesn't use neon surrealistic baby props. The routine gets a standing O from the judges. Mary loved it, and uses a bunch of hip hop terms to describe it in a cute older white lady way. Christina loved Eliana and thought she was full out in it, and predicts that contemporary is going to be a big damn hurdle for Cyrus. Nigel says that Eliana outshone Cyrus in a lot of the hip hop moves, which I agree with. 

Cat calls (hehe) all of the dancers to the stage to announce the bottom 6. Amber, Lindsay, and Eliana are the bottom 3 girls. George, Brandon, and Dareian are the bottom 3 guys.  Nigel wants to see Amber, Eliana, Brandon and Dareian dance again. I wonder what that means for George and Lindsay. Do the judges just think they are good enough? Or not good enough? I can't imagine Lindsay just gets a free pass. I am sure it is a timing issue. They do their solos, and this is the first time we have really seen Brandon step. He is pretty great. Amber is not very memorable. Eliana has some crazy leg extensions, and is generally amazing. Dareian is strong, but not too unique. 

Nigel announces that the judges are going to save Lindsay (because she has room to grow), as well as Eliana. Thank goodness. I was worried that they might cut Eliana for some horrible reason. This means Amber is out, and I don't think she'll be missed. She did have a strong week this week, but it was too little too late. Nigel tells George that he is saved, which isn't a big surprise. He then tells Brandon that he is out, which isn't too surprising. It is too bad that Amber and Brandon had that great routine today and that it won't make a difference. 

More Battements:

• Cat Deeley was nominated for an Emmy again! As much as I would like to see the fabulous RuPaul in that pool, Cat is a pretty great consolation prize. She certainly has my vote. 
  
  
• Throughout the show, there was some crazy person who kept yelling over the judges. I think they removed him at some point. 
  
  
• Mary said the word "hiccup" like "HE-ccup", twice. Great one, Murphy. 
  
  
• Bad news for SYTYCD fans. The show is taking a two-week hiatus for the Olympics. They are really having some crappy scheduling issues this year. 
  
  
• I really want Janelle to be in the bottom next week. I don't know why she hasn't been there yet, but it is starting to piss me off. Other bottom-bound folks? I think Tiffany and George might be there because of that horrible NappyTabs routine, and Dareian might get a repeat trip to the bottom because of that bad cha cha. 
  
  
• The Peanut Gallery really liked Will's snazzy white suit, because that is how she rolls. 
  
  
• Shameless Plug: Did you know that (Cult)ure Magazine has an awesome new podcast? If you like learning strange things about music and judging me for how little I know about that topic, check out the Pop (Cult)ure Music Popcast! Our most recent episode takes a look at The Beatles, and why they may (or may not) have changed music. Hilarity enusues, trust me. 

Comic superheroes and orphans go together like Ra's al Ghul and goatees.

• I must be the only person alive who loves Hans Zimmer's score. I love the tribal beat of Bane's theme and the way it goes crashing up against Batman's bombastic horns. I love the sneaky switcheroo when you realize that Bane's theme is like Bane himself -- not at all who you (or even he) thought but something entirely different. Above all, I love that when Bane and Batman come head to head for the first time, there is no score whatsoever. Just bone crunching and breathless anticipation in one of the most knock-down, drag-out fights I have ever seen on screen.
• My best friend's already made remarks to the extent that she is over Christian Bale, but I think he's my mafia: just when I think I'm out, he pulls me back in. It's not just the streaks of grey hair, the hollows under his eyes, or the fact that he is visibly thinner and more fragile than previous incarnations that break my heart to realize that he may have "aged-out" of the role he defined for himself. It's the way his voice softens when he's speaking with Alfred about Rachel. There's not only sorrow in that voice but innocence, like Alfred is a time machine that brings Bruce back to a moment when he was truly himself. It's the way you can tell, even at first blush, that there's no way Bruce/Batman could ever be more interested in Miranda Tate (though Marion Cotillard has never been more luminous) than he is in the Cat/Selina Kyle. It's not just the challenge that thrills him but the possibility of finding a single human being who may also understand.
• Speaking of Anne Hathaway, could she be any more killer in this movie? Sure, her first scene with Bruce when she flips from ingenue to seductress to criminal and right on out that window is gangbusters, but so is the moment in that scene when she hikes her skirt from just under her knee to just over her knee so she can climb (no one would wear those tights or the shoes to cater a party). Her dancing body can go from purring to ready to pounce in nanoseconds, but it's never campy. Above all, she gets to go through Harvey Dent's arc in reverse -- from apathetic to finally having some skin in the game. It was never really a matter of which side she would chose. It was just a question of how long it would take her to get there.
• If it weren't for Joseph Gordon-Levitt, I think I would have fainted right out of my seat when Blake told Bruce he knew Bruce's secret identity 'cause he is also Batman (essentially). Mind you, it highlights the essential difference between them and further makes my point that you have to be a fuckin' weirdo to not become a cop or a prosecutor or the world's most dedicated lobbyist, but it also really smartly sets up the whole structures becoming shackles stuff and the way the movie lets you imagine that Blake just knew Bruce would leave him a little something special in his will. Of course, what I would really like to see is the "Becoming Batman" journal that would go along with it, full of handy tips like Lucius Fox's direct line, the best way to appear out of a shadow, and a guide to better growling.
• Actually, I'm also probably the only person who doesn't hate the Batman growl. On PCHH Glen Weldon posited that the movies could be a solid 10% better if it weren't for that growl, but whatever. He's got to disguise his voice somehow. Maybe Wayne Enterprises should have sunk some money into those Mission: Impossible voice patches.
• For that matter, I don't mind Tom Hardy's lilting based-on-an-Irish-Romani-'cause-he's-that-guy voice either. It took me right out of the movie the first time, I started to groove on it the second go 'round. It's just on border of being too silly, but, when you introduce a voice like that and follow it up with an impossibly menacing* hostile plane takeover, you start to see the character behind it. You see it in Bane's strut. You hear it in lines like, "What a lovely, lovely voice," followed immediately by mass murder and destruction. In fact, when you hear his voice for the first time, it's overwhelming loud - not just coming from behind you but in front of you and below you and in the seat next to you. Unnerving. 
• I don't really get Talia's point -- she hates her dad for disowning her protector but decided to follow through on his plan to destroy Gotham because his murder liberated her from her hate? That's pretty much what she said, I know, but I just don't understand. Why not enjoy the freedom to make your own decisions or reform the League of Shadows or use philanthropy to save the world like you've been pretending to anyway?
• To the nit-pickers who want to know how Bruce gets from the unspecified prison location and back to a secured Gotham in an unspecified amount of time, I say, "Did you not watch Batman Begins?" He spent 7 years figuring out how to get from A to B without any money or notice. I'm sure he had it in the bag.
• How weird is it to see Batman in the daylight, though, right? It's a testament to both how broken the city is yet how accustomed they are to his presence that there are no double takes during that climactic showdown at City Hall. Gotham's just like Bruce in that regard -- they take Batman for granted.
• The song/video that inspired my article title.
  [video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eohHwsplvY 420x315]
  
• Besides the above, I think this is my favourite image that I came across in my research:
  
  

  It was a touch too long and perhaps over-reliant on Michael Caine's moist eyes to carry it through the emotional beats, but it's still a near masterpiece.

  *I was going to say "badass" here but decided against it in part because I think the term is overused, in part because I don't want to associate any positive connotations of the term with the character, and in part because I heard a very convincing argument against the very character of Bane (in that he is a less product of storytelling needs and more of a need in the 80s and 90s for more "badasses" in comics).

We start out with a creepy, monstery-themed dance to Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People", which features Cyrus and no one else. He starts the dance off in a video element and then also has a different costume than all of the other guys. Many of the other guys are relegated to the far reaches of the stage throughout the number, to the point that it seems rather unfair. 

Cat introduces our Top 20 dancers in couples, and I am champing at the bit to see how this new format for the season will work. Cat tells us that all of the couples will dance tonight and then at the end of the show, the cuts from last week will be made. The three lowest dancers will be called out, and the judges will get to save only one girl and one guy. It is very strange to have everyone dance today, but then not have 4 of those dancers' performances count. We'll see how it goes. Cat introduces our judges, and stalwarts Nigel Lythgoe and Mary Murphy are joined by Adam "Shankers" Shankman. He is plugging some dumb sequel to Step Up which the audience has to be really prodded to applaud for. 

Lindsay and Cole are starting the show off with a Christopher Scott hip hop routine that is dentist-themed. Cole has to play this ultra-dweeby character, and it distracts from the dancing he is supposed to be doing. Lindsay comes off the stronger of the two, which I was not expecting. Nigel thinks the character stuff that Cole did was good (I disagree), and calls Lindsay hot, but immature. Mary agrees with Nigel's criticism of Lindsay, and thinks she needs to work on her characters. She praises Cole's dancing, which I really didn't see much of. Shankers agrees that Cole is amazing for still committing to his character, and that Lindsay needs to be more like "Jennifer Aniston in Horrible Bosses", as if that is a reference anyone understands. 

Amelia and Will: I am excited to see what these two can do outside of the CrappyTabs routine that they got saddled with last week. Tonight, they land the winning lotto ticket that is Sonya Tayeh. Will they cash in? For the most part, I think they do. They are given incredibly strong choreography, and they dance it with tons of power and emotion, two things necessary for a Tayeh performance. Sonya loved it! Mary screams about it, and thinks Willmelia (my term, not hers) brought the routine to life. Shankers can't believe how good it is, and gives them an awkward, one man standing O. Nigel praises Sonya's growth, and Amelia's ability to bury her quirkiness for the sake of the routine. 

Amber and Nick: One of my least favourite pairs from last week get a tango from choreographers Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo. Didn't Nick have ballroom last week? This seems unfair to Amber. At this point, we don't know how the dance styles were selected this week, but it is generally random. Nick is less distracting in the face (la fache, to Penny Hartz) this week, but what is distracting is his gross greasy slicked-back 90s hair. Shankers thinks the dance was really hot, and praises the choreography. He also says that Amber was stellar, and that Nick was a great partner, but he kind of disappeared. Nigel praises Amber and thinks Nick was strong. Mary informs us that the routine was really very difficult, and thinks they both handled the challenge and made it look effortless. 

Audrey and Matthew are up next, and they are riding a high after that awesome Travis Wall routine last week. They get a routine from Sonya Tayeh, which bodes well. Maybe it is just coming off the Willmelia routine, but this routine isn't as exciting for me as her first one. The dancers are super strong, but I found the routine to be a let down. Nigel disagrees with me, and really likes the stank steps Sonya brought to it. He even demonstrates one of them, and Shankers wisely tells him never to do that again. Mary thinks they were both expansive. Shankers says that Audrey is impressing him beyond what he thought possible, and that Matthew is on track to win at this early stage. 

Janelle and Dareian take on a lyrical hip hop routine by Christopher Scott next. I continue to find Janelle as boring as dry toast, and this routine does nothing to convince me otherwise. The dance ends with a really awkward kiss between the two. There is nothing like an un-earned romantic moment; that thing gave me the heebs. Shankers says that this dance required them to convince us of their characters, and Janelle failed at this. Nigel openly slams the choreography by Scott (prefacing his comments with "I don't mean to be rude", and then being super rude). Mary agrees with Nigel, and then incites Adam to kiss Nigel. Shame on her. 

Janaya and Brandon get to work on a Broadway routine by Sean Cheesman. The story of this one is already pissing me off. Janaya is reading Fifty Shades of Grey at a bus stop and then sexually harasses Brandon. These two probably won't be here at the end of the show anyways, but this dance does them absolutely no favours. The choreography is strange and uninteresting, but they do dance it well. Shankers really liked it, and praises Brandon for his commitment. He gives Janaya a complisult by saying that he thought this was really good "for her". Nigel thought it was fun all around and that Janaya had the performance factor that she lacked last week. Mary thinks they were great and that they improved on last week (I think she knows they are going home). 

Eliana and Cyrus are attempting a jive next, and I am nervous for Cyrus. These two have a jive from Tony Meredith and Melanie LaPatin, and it is a tough one for both of them because Eliana doesn't have experience with ballroom, and Cyrus doesn't have much experience with choreography of any kind. You can see that choreographer Melanie is not at all impressed with where Cyrus is at, and I don't blame her. Eliana does much better than Cyrus, who looks tentative the whole time, and like he has no idea what is going on. It is a pretty bad outing from him, in the end. I can't tell if Eliana just looked good in comparison. Mary is a little speechless at Cyrus, and she does find about 100 things wrong with his technique, but praises his performance anyway. Mary tells us that Eliana nailed it. Shankers says it is amazing that Cyrus made it through the routine, which seems like a slap in the face to a lot of the other male dancers. Nigel praises the choreographers for getting Cyrus through it, but says it wasn't great. He also says that Eliana is having to compensate for Cyrus, and that she is doing a great job of it. 

Daniel and Alexa are next up, and we will see how they do after that weird routine last week. They get an angst contemporary routine by Dee Casparay, which should play to their strengths. It is oddly centred in a bathtub, but does much more to show off their talent and strength. The routine further confirms my theory that their ultra-blondness makes them look like siblings, which isn't a bad thing except when things get sexy. Cat Deeley compares it to Splash, endearing me to her more than I thought possible. Shankers says that it was super technical, but he felt it was a little chilly (both between the two of them and between the audience). Mary agrees that the chemistry is lacking. Nigel concurs, and says the connection wasn't there. 

Tiffany and George are up next, and they are dancing a foxtrot by Tony Meredith and Melanie Lapatin. Neither of these two have a lot of ballroom knowledge. Both dancers seem to pull off the grace and lightness of the dance, and the choreography seems pretty effortless for them (not sure if it is indeed an easy routine or if they are killing it). Mary will enlighten us, I am sure. Mary says that the foxtrot is one of the most difficult ballroom dances, and these two nailed it. She names a bunch technical stuff that they did great. Shankers loved it for its retro feel, and thought they were incredible. Nigel makes some joke that I don't understand about how they would make a great opening act for somewhere. It seems like a slam, but Shankers laughs like it is hilarious, so I don't know. Nigel then says it was great. 

Witney and Chehon are ending the night with a Bollywood number. Nakul Dev Mahajan is our perennial Bollywood choreographer, and the routine has all the classic elements we are used to. Specific hand placements, high energy, and a cardio workout. I wonder if actual Bollywood fans find these routines impressive. The dancers on this show often impress outside their home genres, but Bollywood is so very out of the realm of familiarity for the dancers, I wonder how it translates as compared to a pro. Shankers praises the choreography, and says they were both great. He tells Witney that she needs a longer neck, and that Chehon finally showed joy. Mary thinks Chehon is much improved from last week, and that Witney was on fire. Nigel shows off his knowledge of specific Bollywood moves, but all of it is lost on me and everyone in the theatre. Cat agrees that Nigel is making no sense. 

Ok, with all of those dances out of the way, we move on to the bottom 3 girls and guys. Cat calls out all of the dancers and announces that Janaya, Alexa, Whitney, Nick, Daniel and Chehon are the bottom 6. I was worried we would lose one of our ballet boys, and here we certainly will. Janaya and Nick are definitely out of here, but the other two spots are up for grabs. I would be surprised if they send Alexa home given the huge amount of coverage we saw of her in the audition rounds, but she didn't have a good performance this week or last (choreo was partly to blame last week). Actually, given how much screentime she had, the fact that she got so few votes should be enough to send her home, but we'll see what the judges do with that. Daniel and Chehon are a harder call, because we saw very little of both of them in the audition rounds. They both had a short straw on choreography last week, but Chehon did a little better this week. I guess we will see. 

Before we get to the results, there is a very extended promo for Shankers' new movie "Step Up Revolution". It looks really very crappy, but I did laugh out loud four or five times watching it because the acting looked so crappy. Some of the dancing did look cool, but really, the movie looked too shitty. 

The judges now get to save one guy and one girl, and Nigel gives a very long and very vague description of how the voting and choosing works. The judges choose to save Witney, which seems like the right choice. Nigel emphasizes that they have spoken to the choreographers from both weeks, and that that has made their decision easier. On the men's side, the judges save Chehon, which also seems like the right call. That means that we are losing Alexa and Daniel, as well as Nick and Janaya. 

More Overwrought Facial Expressions

•  Of course, Sonya's music choice is titled with just numbers. I really love that crazy woman. 
  
  
• I am somewhat surprised that Alexa was cut so early. I am not surprised that America didn't vote for her...she just never really connected with people, but I am surprised that the judges (and producers) let her go after spending so much time with her in the audition rounds. I will miss the Weiderman Twins. 
  
  
• Poor Janaya...we still have no idea who she was! 
  
  
• When I first heard about the new "vote by text" thing, I thought it was a good idea, but now that the first week of results are in, I am worried for people who have weird names. Do you think middle America knew how to spell "Chehon", "Janaya", or even "Witney"? That seems like a major disadvantage. 
  
  
• So based on the performances tonight, who might be in trouble? Tiffany might be in the bottom, just because she isn't very memorable, and Foxtrots don't tend to swing the youth vote. Janelle and Dareian should also be in trouble, but I may be biased against the boring Janelle. 

Peanut Gallery Gems

PG: "I'm sad that Will is with Amelia, she just pisses me off". 

PG on Audrey and Matthew: "I like their matching belts, and eye make-up"

The Peanut Gallery helpfully caught that choreographer Melanie LaPatin was once featured on a weird live version of What Not to Wear. Given that the episode aired in 2004, I award her some major propers. 

So You Think You Can Dance:

The first show of the (real) season is here, and it promises to hold some very exciting dances, as well as the very real threat that a great dancer will go home this week because America doesn't know who he or she is. Let's dive in together and find out all the details about how this re-formatted season is going to work. We start off we a really cool opening number for the top 20 (choreographed by Christopher Scott), which is sort of Mad Men-themed, and I think Kenny Cosgrove is actually one of the dancers. The dance has dudes at desks interacting with their secretaries. Cyrus stands out because the camera keeps stopping on him, and Alexa (who I just very nearly called Ryan, ouch!) stands out for her ridiculous pouffy hair. Eliana and Amelia are also featured players. So many vowelly ladies this year! Our top 20 dancers are introduced right after this, and it is clear that the top 20 routine we just saw was pre-taped because everyone is changed and they all have vastly different hair. I don't recall the opening numbers being pre-taped before, but perhaps I was just oblivious. Having Cat do the individual introductions really brings a smile to my heart. We are really back! 

Judges

Standard judges are here as always: Mary Murphy and Nigel Lythgoe. They are joined this week by Kenny Ortega, who is a real industry pro (film director, producer, and choreographer), and who is knowledgable about dance. Nigel informs us that the voting this season will start out with voting for individuals, not for couples as in years past. Also, next week, we will lose two girls AND two guys, which is a pretty harsh cut right off the top. I guess they had to make up for that damned 4th of July hiatus. I think that next week will only be a results show (although I am really not sure), which threatens to really kill the momentum of this show. We'll see if that is true, and how all of this shakes out. 

This week, the dancers were paired up according to producer whims, I think, and then the pair picked a dance style after a random-draw. 

Witney and Chehon

The first couple up are ballroom dancer Whitney (the cuter ballroomer, sorry Lindsay), and Chehon, one of the two ballet gods. They are dancing a Samba by Louis Van Amstel of Dancing with the Stars. His dances usually underwhelm me on that show, but he has done ok on SYTYCD. Given that this is Whitney's home-style, you have to think she will have no problem with it. We'll see if Chehon is able to keep up (my guess is yes). With my (limited) knowledge of ballroom, it does seem like he hold up to the style well. The real issue with ballroom is that it just isn't as exciting to me as a lot of the other styles. Judges thoughts? Nigel calls Witney a firecracker, and tells Chehon he was slightly bowlegged and that he should relax into it a little more. Mary points to the same technical problems that Nigel saw, but thinks he has a bunch of potential, and throws Witney on the hot tamale train. Kenny loved Witney too, and wants Chehon to trust the choreography. 

Tiffany and George

Tiffany is someone I know nothing about (maybe she is one of the jazz twins?), and I think George (Lawrence II) is a contemporary dancer. These two got a great choreographer in Sonya Tayeh, and it could be a real boon to their time here. Sonya usually does jazz, but this appears to be more of a contemporary piece. Both of the dancers are strong, but George stands out to me more. He has an intensity about him that suits the Tayeh choreography. Mary is breathless after the routine, and thinks they both surrendered to it. Kenny sings the praises of Ms. Tayeh, and says the routine brought him back to his youth (good lord, that is a little over the top). Nigel thinks Sonya's attempt at a romantic style went over so well that he thinks she might be in love. 

Janaya and Brandon

I don't think we know much about either of these two (Brandon is the stepper we only met briefly at the end of the top 20 show), and they have been saddled with a Tabitha and Napoleon hip hop routine (mostly memorable for how white and non-hip hoppy they tend to be). Tabitha is hella pregnant, so congrats to NappyTabs on that. Brandon certainly has a pretty good grasp of the hip hop, and Janaya does enough to hold her own too (which isn't always the case with the girls). I don't think either of these fools have enough star power to make me care about them, but this is also the first week we have really seen either of them. Kenny says he believed every word of this story. Nigel thinks Napoleon and Tabitha were kind to these two, and choreographed around their weaknesses. Mary liked Brandon's character, but didn't think Janaya was gritty enough. 

Alexa and Daniel

Yikes, these two could be a really huge threat in the competition. Definitely two of the strongest people that we have seen. They are doing a contemporary routine by Sean Cheesman, who I do not like for personal reasons (those reasons being that his staff was a dick to me and my coworkers when I worked in the hospitality industry). I said it last year and I will say it again, Sean, you need to know how your people are behaving! The costumes for this routine are really unattractive…they are like shiny red pleather suits (a man's suit for Daniel and a cocktail waitress vest and pants for Alexa). The suits are so ugly I haven't really watched any of the dance, but it seems underwhelming. Alexa busted open one of her buttons (near her belly), and it looks funny afterwards. Nigel kind of slams the choreography and says there was too much going on for us to appreciate how hard the moves were. Mary agrees, and was glad to see Daniel loosening up. Kenny echoes the "it was demanding" sentiment, but also thinks it lacked a connection to the audience. 

Amber and Nick

Amber is the person who has a thinly-veiled bitchface, and Nick is the ballroom guy who cried/begged at the top 20 panel. First impressions matter, people! They get to try out a Jason Gilkinson Viennese waltz, which is one of my favourite ballroom dances. Nick struggles in rehearsal, and Jason doesn't pull any punches with him. Nick's face is super distracting as we start out—he has this super sincere, pained look on his face that I can't look at. Amber does very well considering this isn't her style, and Nick really just does ok. It is like he is just pretending to dance it instead of dancing it from a place of honesty (yeesh, one season of recapping and I am saying crap like this). Mary says that Amber looked somewhat awkward in her heels, and loved Nick. Kenny compliments the choreography and the camera work (which is a nice nod). I thought Nigel made an honest, off-the-cuff remark about Abby Lee Miller from Dance Moms, but she is in the audience, so it is all scripted. Lame! Nigel does also mention Nick's terrible face, and points out that the camera is especially harsh on it (compared to just a live performance, which is a good point). 

Amelia and Will

These two have a NappyTabs routine as well, and their horrifying costumes are making me very nervous. Amelia is in a god-awful leopard body suit with leather accents, and Will is in a similar leopard and leather outfit (though not the same leopard, which, if you are going to go for that, just go all the way, no?). Amelia will be playing a cat. Oh god, help us. The routine is pretty horrifying, but major points to Amelia and Will for selling the hell out of it. They almost convinced me it wasn't that bad, but the routine is just such a turd, I don't know what to say. I am offended by it. The audience freaking loves it, so perhaps I am fully alone on this one. I think at least Lil 'C is on my side, wherever he is. Kenny makes some gross kitty references, and praises the choreographers. Nigel thinks this partnership is a really good one (and I agree so far), and hilariously says that people might not like the routine and that it wasn't hip hop. Tabitha and Napolean—it is time to check yourselves. Grampy Nigel just schoooooled you on hip hop. Come. ON. Mary liked it a lot as well, and calls Amelia a quirky little vixen. 

Dareian and Janelle

This is our smallest guy (he of the bad feet) and the Belly Dancer, Janelle, who the judges freaking love. Sean Cheesman is choreographing an African jazz routine for these suckers. African jazz does not usually play well with the crowd. The routine is pretty boring, and the crowd doesn't seem all that into it, as suspected. It just isn't a style that is easy to connect with, and the choreography doesn't sell us on it. Nigel thinks the choreography was pretty intense, and is surprised that Janelle is even standing on the stage because she is so clumsy and keeps getting injured (that head bang against the doorframe last episode needed 5 stitches!). Mary thought it was very exciting, like Janelle's movement, and thought Dareian had a lot of power. Kenny loved the choreography, thought it took him all around the world. 

Eliana and Cyrus

Another interesting partnership here, with the super strong ballet dancer (slash Cirque du Soleil performer) Eliana, and the Cyrus, the much-exposed animator. They are in a bit of a tricky genre, with a Broadway routine by Tyce Diorio. Tyce says the routine is from Hairspray, which seems a bit weird because that is a fully-realized musical (a few thousand times over). The song is "Run and Tell That", which is the scene where Seaweed meets Penny. Cyrus does really well with the choreography (which was really slanted toward his strengths), and with the whole attitude of the dance. Eliana doesn't shine as brightly, but I think she will be fine. Mary praises Tyce, and also says that people are going to Google the crap out of this (which I really don't think will happen). Kenny does his usual choreographer sucking up, and doesn't offer much more. Nigel thinks Cyrus isn't yet a great dancer, but that he immerses himself so much in the dances that it doesn't matter. Nigel thinks the dance didn't do Eliana justice, but calls her the benchmark for all the girls. 

Audrey and Matthew

These poor people that we don't know! Audrey we did see a little bit during the audition rounds (she is the memorable jazz twin), but I don't know who Matthew is, except that I think he was Ken Cosgrove in the opening Mad Men number. The only thing that is working to their advantage tonight is that they landed a contemporary routine by Travis Wall. Because Travis is amazing, I have high hopes. He is doing a  Titanic (the movie, not the human disaster, although, one and the same, amirite film people?) themed routine, and has strangely chosen to pair it with "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers. If anyone can combine the "love story" of Titanic  with the pottery scene from Ghost, it is Travis Wall. As suspected, the routine is really amazing. This one, I will watch on YouTube. It includes a lot of slow, controlled moves, along with some really great lifts and leaps. This dance certainly put these two on the map, and people in the audience are full-out crying. The judges award a standing O. Kenny thought it was exquisite all around. Nigel thinks it is the best of the night (I agree). Mary loved both dancers and thinks Travis did a great job as well. I feel like these comments aren't conveying how good the dance was, but it was that good. 

Lindsay and Cole

Lindsay is the other ballroomer, and Cole is the martial arts guy. They are given a Jason Gilkinson Paso Doble, which is Lindsay's specialty and plays to Cole's strengths in its hardness. I can tell from the start that this is going to be a great routine. It starts with Lindsay slung around Cole's back, and it is just extremely strong throughout. The styling is cool, the movements are intense, and it is the right kind of memorable. Cole has enough character and Lindsay is able to shine in her home-genre. Kenny says it was a second great routine of the night. Mary thought it was Gilkinson's very best paso, and loved it. Nigel says that was the best paso he has ever seen a dude do on this show (high praise, and deserved). He also says that Lindsay has the magic we weren't sure she did have. 

Additional Arabesques 

• Cat does an amazing job hosting tonight (nothing new there). She cracked jokes about sound problems, deftly herded around 20 dancers new to the show, and looked adorable in a simple gold dress.  
  
  
• I should note that I, much like Professor Buster Bluth, do not tolerate any, whether ironic or sincere, "ghosting" in my classroom. 
  
  
• Given that the couples got to choose their styles this week, a lot of people were in their own genre. It will be a little more interesting next week when more people are thrown out of their comfort zones and into choreography styles that are further from their base. 
  
  
• With their weird matchy red outfits and super blond hair, Daniel and Alexa really look like siblings. Just like the Wiederman twins (I hope they don't get caught up in each other's lederhosen). If you get that reference, please email me because we are going to be friends. 
  
  
• So who is in trouble next week? I think Janaya and Brandon both could be in the bottom. Tiffany, Nick, Chehon, and Daniel could also be in some trouble. I also have a fear that Eliana will be in the bottom because her routine was weird, but I hope it is Janelle instead (I just don't find her as adorable as the producers want me to). 
  
  
• Highlights of the night were for sure the last two dances, the Titanic contemporary by Audrey and Matthew and the Paso by Lindsay and Cole. 
  
  
• I should note that Grampy Nigel really quite impressed me this week. His criticisms were spot-on, and including criticisms of choreography, which doesn't often happen. 
  
  
• Kenny Ortega on that horrible NappyTabs cat routine with Amelia and Will: "It belongs on Broadway". 
  Me: "Or in that dumpster." Zing!

Gems from the Peanut Gallery

PG: "I think Kenny Ortega got his orange levels adjusted" 

LC: "Yes, a professional levels adjustment." 

PG: (deadly serious) "Of course, you don't adjust your orange levels yourself."

So You Think You Can Dance: The Top 20
Excitement abounds! We will finally find out who the top 20 dancers are for Season 9 of So You Think Can Dance! We start out in Hollywood, where the dancers will perform at the end of the show, and Cat is a knockout in this really fun champagne, gold, and pale pink dress. There is a panel of judges (not quite sure why they are here, but we will see), including Mary "The Screamer" Murphy, Nigel "The Pervy Uncle" Lythgoe, and Zooey "The Adorkable" Deschanel. Nigel explains the changes to this season, the biggest of which is that they will be choosing not one, but two favourite dancers (one guy and one girl). In addition, there is only one show per week (no results show), so it will be fun to see how this works out. The results show of SYTYCD wasn't the very worst, but there was certainly a bunch of reality TV filler nonsense that won't be missed.

The 35 finalists are all penned up in a room, and they call them in one by one to face the judges. Alexa (the overexposed) is called up first. Given how much time we spent with her last year, I feel pretty sure she will be in. Tyce tries to fake her out (poorly), and she is our first person in the coveted 20. George Lawrence II is next, and I don't remember much about him, except that he had a great audition. I think he has a ballet/contemporary background. Debbie Allen tells him he is in the top 20. Will Thomas (who we don't know much about) is also in. Megan Branch (who I don't know if we ever met) is a contemporary person who Mary loved, but she doesn't make it, nor does Collin Fuller (another unknown). Amber something is a contemporary dancer who has tried out three years in a row, and this year she makes it in (she had a really stanky attitude after she didn't make it the previous year, more on that later). The first four selected are dancing a Tyce Diorio routine, to "We Found Love" performed by Jesse J. The number is fairly boring, but it doesn't openly suck, which I have sometimes found in Tyce's routines. It looks a bit like a scene from Rent, which probably was the big thing in Tyce's heyday. The judges gives them each feedback, but I won't bother talking about it, because it isn't too interesting. 

The show is trying desperately to build up the two blonde ballroom dancers drama (we have seen clips about them 4 times, and it is only 25 minutes into the show), but mark my words, both of them will be getting in. Apparently, that awesome cane and tails guy that I wanted to know more about last year, Nick, is a ballroomer. He looks bit like Finn from Glee. He goes up to the judges just sobbing, which is an interesting approach. They tell him he is in the top 20, and kindly don't toy with him. Next, the judges send in the blondes, Whitney and Lindsay, together, which seems cruel, but we know it isn't, really. Shankers goes so far as to ham it up and says that "this totally makes me sick". They tell Whitney she is in first, followed pretty quickly by Lindsay too. The three new top 20s do a Mark Gilkinson routine, which the The Peanut Gallery rightly points out is reminiscent of the Romy and Michelle dance. It is really weird. The panel of judges talk to them as well, and Mary wastes no time putting them on the hot tamale train. Zooey compliments the girls' synchronization, and Nigel says nothing. 

In the next group of people, we have three classically trained ballet folks. Eliana Gerard was told by Mary at her first audition that she was Top 20 material (and who formerly worked for Cirque du Soleil). Debbie Allen tells her that she is indeed, in. There are two ballet boys here, Chehon (who we saw at the very end of the solo round in Vegas) and Daniel Baker, the cute Aussie (who left his ballet job in San Francisco). Nigel says Chehon's solo was amazing, but Daniel was more consistent. He fakes these two out as well, and first tells Daniel he is in, and then also tells Chehon is in. The three ballet folks do a really cool futuristic ballet routine that showcases all of their strength. It gets a standing O from the judges and much of the audience. We learn that Desmond Richardson (a legendary contemporary dancer) and Dwight Rhoden choreographed the great routine, which is fun. Hopefully we will see more of them throughout the season.

We move on to the jazz dancers, and there are a bunch of them. Audrey Case is the one we have seen the most of so far. Tiffany is another jazzer, and she is up first. We don't know anything about her. Debbie Allen welcomes her to the top 20. Audrey is afraid she won't make it because Tiffany did and because they look sort of the same. Shankers tries to fake her out, but then tells her she is in. People named Abigail, Kaitlyn, Rebecca, and maybe a Katie, all don't make it. Janelle Isis, the Belly Dancer is next, and she seems like a shoe-in. Cat tells us a belly dancer has never made it to the top 20, which sort of guarantees that she is in. Shankers is an ass, again, and tells her to own just making to Vegas, and then tells her she is in. Janelle smacks her head on the door frame when she comes back into the room, and then is apparently ill tonight, so she won't be dancing. Audrey and Tiffany get to dance a Sonya Tayeh routine, and they are the same height, have the same brown hair, and are styled identically, so there is no way for me to tell them apart. I can tell you that the routine is badass, of course. Melanie, our awesome Season 8 winner is in the audience, and she is wearing a goofy hat, which The Peanut Gallery informs me is awesome (and she gets to tell us about fashion). 

Next up is Joshua Alexander, the guy who tried to do a backflip on carpet in socks and concussed himself; he doesn't make the top 20. Blake, Jasmine and Daniel are three people we don't know about who don't make it. Matthew is an LA auditioner who we haven't seen since then. Mary tells us he is in the Top 20. Dareian Kujawa is from the Salt Lake City, and he is the one that Nigel said had crappy feet. He is told he made it to the top 20. Janea (I have no idea how this is spelled) is next and she makes it in. This leaves Amelia (The Artist girl) and some unknown from Salt Lake City for the final spot for girls. Tyce tells Amelia she is in because she has star quality, over Jill, who sounds like she was the better dancer. These four dance a contemporary routine by Stacey Tookey. Seeing Amelia in a group routine, she really reminds me of Melanie from last year, in how much she grabs your attention. It is like the other girl isn't even up there. I don't know if her technique is as good (probably not), but that is still something to go on. Mary says that this girl Janea is finally on the radar, but I beg to differ—she is totally forgettable. 

As we come to the end of the show, we have 7 dudes left, with only three spots left. Cole is a guy who has a unique marshal arts style, and he gets one of the three spots. Two tappers, Aaron and Zach don't make it into the top. Two steppers, Devon and Brandon go up together. Brandon makes it through, and Devon doesn't. The one final spot is down to Feliciano (who we don't know), and Cyrus (who we have spent hours with, but who didn't do great outside his style). Cat sends them in together, of course. Nigel tells Cyrus that he is in the Top 20. These three dudes are dancing together in a Christopher Scott routine. The routine starts out weird, with each of them getting a solo in their three different styles, while wearing baseball uniforms (and with really strange baseball-announcer narration playing over the piece). When we actually get to the combined choreography, it gets really cool, and I want to see more. It ends as weirdly as it began, with a lamely dramatized pitch of a baseball.

The top 10 girls get to dance a Travis Wall contemporary routine for us tonight, and I am pretty excited about it because Travis Wall's routines have quickly climbed the charts to be as exciting as Sonya's. The routine is really awesome, and the girls are performing the crap out of it. There is a weird thing about a door to the afterlife, that is a little goofy, but other than that, it is great. The boys get to do a Sonya Tayeh routine, which is lucky for them. Sonya makes them all take of their shirts and then dude partner with each other. The (large number of) gays that watch the show will be so happy! The routine is a very cool, sort of martial art-inspired routine, and what is immediately clear is that there is a much bigger range of talent on the dudes side. Some of them really seem to struggle. Our final treat tonight is a contemporary routine for the whole top 20, choreographed by the crazy one herself, Mia Michaels. For some reason, she wasn't around last season, but it appears she is back. It is definitely a cool routine, although most of the action revolves around the putting on and taking off of futuristic sunglasses. They pan over to Mama Mia in the audience, and she looks like she spent the last year living in some sort of dark cave for hipsters. Oh and also that she stole an old Paula Abdul wig. Fun stuff. More

• "These two are real athletes, and I look like the BFG, don't I? The Big Friendly Giant."- Cat Deeley, standing next to two tiny jazz girls. Cat is fucking amazing. I laughed for two minutes.
• Zooey Deschanel, cute though she is, is pretty useless as an "expert" on the panel. She just gives vague praise to all, and seems awed at the whole event.
• The Top 20 are finally here! There were really no shockers in this reveal, which is for the best, in the end. Of the people we didn't get to know, I think that Amber will be an early exit because she is just seething with bitch face under a not-so-convincing "happy" exterior. I think this Janea person (spelling still unconfirmed) will also be a disappointment.
• On the dudes' side, the stepper guy will probably not get too far given how he probably isn't great at choreography (much like Cyrus), but given that he has had zero camera time, people won't know why they should vote for him (if indeed there is still voting, we really don't know at this point).
• This episode, I learned that Tyce Diorio's last name doesn't have a capital "O" in it, as I have been writing it for some time. I blame the damn caps font the show uses.
• Because the next So You Think You Can Dance was set to air on July 4th, the American holiday, they are postponing the next episode until this week (the show airs on Tuesday, July 10), which is quite sad. Hopefully FOX will use the extra week to make some great promos that get more people excited about this season. I, for one, can't wait for the real performances and judging to begin!

So You Think You Can Dance: The Vegas Callbacks

This is very exciting. The audition rounds are over, and only people who have an actual chance of making it onto the show will be performing. The pre-show clip package promises lots of crying dancers, crushed dreams and one person getting kicked full out in the head. Good times. The judging panel includes Lil C, Debbie Allen, Adam Shankman, Tyce DiOrio (who makes a real knob of himself on his intro), Mary Murphy and Nigel Lythgoe. Nigel announces that solo performances will be up first, and if the dancers aren't good enough, they will be immediately cut. The Peanut Gallery's response to this? "Awesome." Up first is that exorcist guy from  Dallas. Shankers is crying already, and the guy is really damn good. We lose two of the first ten people, and it does seem pretty harsh. The next person we see dance is Janelle, the Belly Dancer. The new judges really love her. 51 people are cut from this round, including that dumb hip hopper/karate champion Tim Conkle. 

Comfort and Twitch are back to teach people some new style of hip hop from Atlanta.The exorcist guy finds out that he can't do choreography, and chooses to leave. One of the dragon house folks also knows he is out of his depth, and just leaves without talking to the judges. Boris of the dragon house tries the choreography and fails pretty miserably. The praying mantis guy from Salt Lake City is also out, as is that young mother who's (adorable) kid got her on the show. Cyrus of the dragon house ekes through the hip hop round, but it really doesn't bode well for him as we move on. How will he handle Broadway?

Day 2 in Vegas brings a whole new kind of hell for the dancers, and that hell is a Broadway routine choreographed by Tyce DiOrio. He is the worst. People agree with me on this, right? The first profile we get is of two ballroom girls from SLC who are best buds and roomates. The way they are building this up, I think it may just come down to these two for the last spot in the Top 20. It seems like almost everyone makes it through the Broadway round, which flies in the face of what Tyce said about his choreography being super difficult. We get a small profile of Alexa, the girl that Ryan just beat out last year to make it in the top 20. She gets a talking to from Shankers, who tells her that he is sick of saving her, and that she needs to stop being so dead in the face. The previews tell us she is going to get yelled at again, and I think she might be actually quite similar to Ryan. Flashes of brilliance, but ultimately not good enough. 23 dancers get cut in the end. The balls-out rejection of Vegas is pretty depressing. 

The next round of choreography is Sonya Tayeh's jazz, which really should be its own genre. There is a bboy who has a crappy attitude and who is threatening the weird bacon-eater's chances of going through (who's weird style fits well with Sonya). That stripper girl from Salt Lake City (I think), also gets cut, but she argues with the judges. They give her the chance to dance for her life. Danielle, the Bacon person, helps out another dancer and does the routine again. Her partner full-out kicks her in the head, and it looks pretty rough. Cyrus is in a jazz group with Amelia, the girl that got The Artist treatment back in New York. The judges aren't impressed, and Amelia will dance for her life. Sonya kind of fakes out Cyrus, and tells him he is through. Danielle is taken to the hospital, but hopefully she will be ok. It is time for Amelia and Rachel (stripper girl) to dance for their lives. Rachel is just out, and Debbie Allen tells her to stop just slutting it up. Emilia is next, and the judges seem quite impressed with her solo. I wonder if this was some sort of fake out? Sonya gives her a yes, Nigel says no, because he wants her to put some of that talent into other people's routines. Everyone else says yes, and I think it was sort of a fake out/a Nigel's superiority teaching moment. 

The group routine is next, which is a rough exercise where these dancers have to work in groups of 5 or 6 to choreograph a routine to a random piece of music, and in an extra twist of cruelty, they have to do all of the work overnight, and then perform it the next morning on no sleep. It is guaranteed drama for the show, but also guaranteed injuries. The first group we see adds the hospitalized Danielle after they start, and then bitch about it. Danielle is cut, which seems really uncool, as she got kicked in the damn head. There is a cute routine after this that has a group with one fun girl with pink hair (Aubrey) and 4 guys. The final group includes cute Adrian Lee and Alexa the boring. Tyce lays in on Alexa again, and so does Mary. They want her to scream about how much she wants it, and they finally make her cry. 

The last round of choreography is the dreaded ballroom round, which basically no one likes. Cyrus is particularly frightened of the Cha Cha they have to do. He looks hilarious in heeled shoes. Comedy gold, really. He isn't great at the Cha Cha, and they let him dance for his life. It is a fair decision. We get a montage of people who just have to leave, and that includes Dee Tomasetta (the Italian from Salt Lake City), and that white hip hopper from nowheresville, Georgia. Aubrey, the stand out from the group round is told she is just done, and she really loses it. So sad, again. Alexa is up next, and I am really sick of hearing about her. The judges react to her changes performance, and actually yell encouragement at her while she dances, which seems really mean to the other people. The last thing on the agenda for Day 2 is to have Cyrus dance for his life, he isn't nervous at all because he knows he is a great dancer. His routine is bonkers, again, and they all say yes to him. 

The contemporary round is last, and Travis Wall is the choreographer, which is awesome. We don't get to see much of the performances here, and then Nigel calls a bunch of them to the stage, en masse. He picks out about half of these people, and tells them they are through. The remaining dancers (about 18), get the chance to dance the contemporary routine one more time, but most get cut. The last group of these features the white-girl krumper Mariah, who is also cut. 

The next day, the dancers will have dance their final solos for the judges, and in practice, Joshua Alexander attempts a backflip and he falls on his head. His buddy announces "he's not moving", and the producers really want us to think he might be dead. It is a really pathetic attempt to get us to believe someone actually dies, and the show plays it over and over again throughout the two hours. Surprise, he isn't dead, but he does get to ride in the ambulance, and I do hope he is ok. Alexa is up first in the solos, and Debbie mutters "this child could win". She does look more impressive here than she did in the earlier rounds. We just get a super montage of everyone else doing their solos, and they all seem great. They show some guy that I don't think we have seen before, who is crazy talented at ballet. He can jump like 20 feet in the air. I don't even catch his name, but he is amazing. Nigel calls up the boys, and has to release a few more people, including my boyfriend, Adrian Lee. So sad. He calls the ladies up as well, and lets them all stay. That gives us 35 dancers left that will have to be pared down to the top 20 next week. It should be fun/interminable. 

More Crushed Dreams:

• That was a much more fun episode to watch, given that we are finally getting down to those people who might actually be on the show. The auditions certainly aren't as bad as on other shows, but they do wear after a while.
• That being said, damn, that was a lot of rejection packed into two hours. 146 really talented dancers just got told "we're going to pass today" on their dreams. Does anyone else need a drink?
• I must confess I don't know much (anything) about Debbie Allen. These rounds have inspired me to find out more. Some quick research tells me she played a big role in the television series FAME, where she was the lead choreographer. She also has an impressive Broadway career. 
• Let's talk about favourites going forward. I think we are definitely going to see Amelia and Alexa in the top 20, given the amount of time we have spent on them so far. I think Cyrus is in for similar reasons, and because SYTYCD loves to keep its cred up. One or both of the ballroom girls will be in as well, but other than that, the other spots are really up in the air. There are certainly a number of dancers we haven't even seen yet (see next bullet), so that should be fun next week.
• When they called up all of the remaining boys, there was this guy in full tails with a freaking cane that we have never seen. This must mean that he is a tapper, and also that he is awesome. Tell us about him, show. PLEASE. 
• Definitely looking forward to the top 20 next week!

So You Think You Can Dance: Atlanta and Salt Lake City Auditions

 This week, we head to Atlanta, Georgia, for the third round of auditions. Last year's winner, Melanie, came from this city, so expectations are very high. They show a few quick clips of Melanie, and it makes me want to watch her dances again. So great. Regular judges Mary and Nigel are joined by Debbie Allen. Our first featured contestant is Audrey Case, who has some dumb squeaking neck trick which wastes our time. When she finally starts dancing, the judges love her, and I have to admit she is quite good. She gets a ticket straight through to Las Vegas. Next up are three hip hop dancers who are roommates along with a bunch of other people. Their clip package is a waste of time, as if we care how these unemployed dancers live! The first guy up of these three (Boris something) has some crazy controlled popping, and the judges give him a standing ovation. They give him a ticket straight to Vegas. We will get to his two roommates later. The next guy up is a fun contemporary guy named Joshua Alexander. I don't know that he will stand out from the pack in Vegas, but the producers definitely want us to like him. He gets his ticket to Vegas. We get a brief overview of another slough of dancers who get to go to Vegas. Tim Conkel (hehe) is up next, and he is apparently a big-time karate champion. He hams it up for the cameras, and the producers are salivating. He definitely has a unique style, and his karate-influenced movements and flips are pretty cool. The judges are not sure he has the dance skills needed to go forward, so they give him a chance to show some ballet that he learned in 7 days. It isn't good, but the judges find him very funny and charming. They send him on to Vegas, which is somewhat surprising. 

After the break, Jackson Alvarez shows off some creepy hip hop moves, and wins his trip to choreography. Janelle Issis is a belly dancer who warrants a camera crew trip to her house and the senior centre where she performs. Nigel gets his creep on, and ogles her the whole time. They send her through to choreography. Danielle Dominguez is up next, and we get a dumb extended clip package about her love of bacon. Stop wasting the time, show! Her dancing was described as "weird" before the bacon nonsense, and she certainly is that. There are some sort of zombie movements, but overall it is good. They give her some really high praise and send her to Vegas. It is time for the other two roommates of Boris, and Andre Rucker is up first. Where Boris was very slow and controlled, Andre brings more fluidity and smoothness to his dancing. Mary gets freaked out by what he does, so you know its good. He gets to go to Vegas as well. Given the constant previews, I am quite sure the third guy will go too. Cyrus Spencer is the third roommate, and he just had to watch his friend get through, and then dance immediately after. Cyrus does not disappoint; his moves are just crazy. The judges love him too, of course, and he does get that ticket to Vegas. Choreography round is up next, and Janelle the Belly Dancer gets a ticket through to Vegas, along with someone else who we saw, but who won't make it far in Vegas.

Day 2 starts in Atlanta, and after yesterday's huge number of Vegas-bound youth, I think they will be a little stricter with who gets in. Courtney Kirby is up first, and brought her grandmother with her, who used to be a dance instructor. Nigel brings her up to the stage so she can see better, and she gets fresh with him. It is ridiculous, of course. She is a very good contemporary dancer, but I don't think she will shine without grandma nearby. Of course they send her on to Vegas…they weren't going to say no with Gran sitting right beside Nigel. Next up is Asher Walker, who is from a hick town in Georgia that doesn't have much hip hop dancing. His dancing is fun and different, if not the most technically impressive. The judges like him, and send him on to Vegas. George Lawrence II is up next, and we already know from the previews that the judges love him. He has a track background, and is very athletic. His contemporary dancing is excellent, and he might have enough to stand out in Vegas, too. The judges send him there without much hesitation. Next we have a montage of Vegas-bound dancers, and there isn't any who particularly stand out. Brittany is up next, and she is from a weird small town and she has trouble speaking when asked a question. I think she may just be super nervous. Her dancing is unremarkable, but they send her to choreography anyways. They say she has a lot of potential. Meh. The next two folks apparently auditioned last year, and they were caught stealing choreography from someone on YouTube. Their hip hop this time around is ok, but we have seen so much better just in Atlanta, I don't think they will get far. They go to choreography. One of them makes it through, and the show thinks it is very dramatic, when it is actually not very interesting. Brittany also gets through, and so ends our trip to Atlanta, Georgia. 

Salt Lake City

In an effort to include some of the middle of the country, this week, the auditions head to Salt Lake City, Utah. Let's see what kind of good clean fun these Mormons can get up to. Nigel and Mary are joined by Adam Shankman, or Shankers as Cat likes to call him. As usual, auditions can go right through to Vegas, or be asked to stay to try the choreography round. Whitney Carson is up first, and she is doing Latin Ballroom, which you know Mary will be all over. I always find it odd when there are young people who do ballroom dancing at high levels. I guess there is an interest in it, but it seems like such an old person thing to be an enthusiast of. The judges go freaking nuts for this girl, and give her a standing ovation. Nigel calls her "sense-u-al", which is just gross. Mary goes so far as to stick her on the Hot Tamale train, which she did not employ through the whole of last season (I cannot speak to the audition rounds, but not in the main part of the show for sure). My viewing partner, The Peanut Gallery had never seen it before! The next person up is being presented as a nutjob, and she claims to get her inspiration from a planet or something. I am not going to describe it further. Cat asks her if she was on drugs when she found her spirit guides, and she does not say no. The girl also used to be a aerospace engineer. When she finally gets to the dancing, it is unremarkable and technically pretty weak. The judges say she is a sweetheart and looks happy dancing, as they show her the door. What a dumb waste of time. 

After more eternal clip packages (perhaps I am getting cranky by this fourth round of auditions), we have a dancer (with a huge italian family, as if that is worth a clip package) named Dee Tomasetta. She does a contemporary routine, and it is quite good. She has a lightness and fluidity in her movement that is uncommon. The judges smartly send her straight on to Vegas. The next featured dancer has taken it upon himself to paint his body to go along with his praying mantis dance storyline. Gene Lonardo is the mantis' name. His dancing is contemporary in style, and quite acrobatic as well. He would fit right in at a Cirque du Soleil show. They send him home, to Vegas. 

Lindsay Arnold is up next, and she does ballroom dancing as well.   Hers is not as impressive as Whitney earlier, but the judges like her and send her to Vegas. Apparently Salt Lake City is a hotbed of ballroom dancing, as we get a whole montage of ballroomers who make it through. Mariah Spears is up next and is a small blonde white girl who is krumping. You read that correctly. I guess, as krumping goes, it is pretty average. I am sure we have seen more impressive krumpers in our time. The judges really like her, but I think they are being influenced by her whiteness and girliness. They send her to choreography. 

Murphy Yang is up next, and he is our featured "my Dad doesn't support my dancing" story of the hour. I feel bad for people who's parents aren't supportive of them, but it gets a little boring and repetitive during these auditions. Murphy is a cool dancer, who combines some breaking with other fluid movements. Nigel calls him an entertainer, but thinks he doesn't have enough moves in the bank. They give him a chance in choreography. We go on to see the choreography results, and  Murphy doesn't make it through. Mariah the white krumper does get to go to Vegas. 

Day two starts off with Dareian Kujawa, a ballet/contemporary dancer who is really talented. Shankers loves him, you can tell by the way he keeps glancing at Mary. Nigel says his feet are terrible (I don't know what exactly that means), but the rest of him is great. Adam loves him, as does Mary, and they send him on to Vegas. 

After a montage of people who are coming back for more pain, we get to see someone who very nearly made season 7, Adrian Lee. After taking a year off, he decided to come back, and his dancing is really, really good, as we would imagine.  He also has really fun 50s man hair, which I adore. They send him to Vegas, as if there was any doubt. Rachel Applehans is profiled next, and she is dancing in a lacy corset, but one that isn't primarily for dance. She is playing to Nigel's well-documented horn-dog instincts, which is pretty sad for her. Shankers gets the giggles, Mary wants to see her in choreography, and Nigel also sends her there. The final soloist of the auditions is a hefty latino named Leroy Martinez. He runs after school programs for kids, and seems like a great guy. He has a sad story about his past, and the judges are on his side from the get-go. He dances with a lot of personality, and some very skilled popping and locking as well. His routine seems very, very short, but the audience loves him. Nigel tells him he embodies the spirit of dance, but he won't be competitive in the show. They send him to choreography, to give him a chance at it. Rachel the stripper gets her ticket to Vegas, but Leroy does not make it through. 

And so ends the seemingly never-ending auditions rounds of season 9. I, for one, am jazzed for things to move on to Vegas so we can spend some time with people who might actually make the show. We have 181 people that we have to weed down to 20, so there are definitely going to be some leotard-clad tears on the way. 

More Off Beats

• Apologies if these recaps sound a bit cranky. I sort of chain-watched these two episodes and the novelty of the auditions rounds had worn off. 
• I looked up the "bad feet" thing, and for ladies it means that you have a high arch and flexible "banana feet". I still have no idea what it means for dudes. 
• I am still stuck on how cute Adrian Lee is. I sure hope he makes it in. 
• Those dragon house guys really were awesome. The previews show one of them crying in Vegas...hopefully it is a cry of excitement (it isn't).