Talking in Circles: Best Friend or Worst Nightmare?

Whether as a way to avoid direct eye contact with someone or simply through a chronic inability to get to the point, everyone has, at some time or another, found themselves talking in circles. 

In researching this article – yes, this article was researched – I found that there really is no single definition of “talking in circles,” but that there are instead subtle variations of the device that are tailored to address specific situations. Ironically, the definitions I did come across were so circular in their logic that I got a little lost, but I definitely saw why that happens. At its core, “talking in circles” can involve being incredibly verbose or detailed, not coming to the crux of an argument quickly or even at all, and arriving back at the beginning rather than at a suitable end. Repetition is key, but most disappointingly, the exercise usually results in the talker being completely unable to enlighten his or her audience. This is frustrating and grossly unsatisfying for the unfortunate victims of a circle-talker, as they are forced to endure what is likely at least several minutes of absolutely nothing but the sound of the talker’s voice. 

It’s an art form, really. When done properly, talking in circles can leave the audience impressed and in awe of the talker, who consequently ends up being described as “eloquent” and “articulate.” What high praise for someone when did nothing but create a seamless monologue by craftily stringing together a lot of words to captivate the audience without actually telling them anything at all! 

Audiences often hear politicians talk in circles in an attempt to get out of a precarious situation. They twist and turn through crafty reiterations of policy statements and party slogans in the hope that everyone will forget what the original question was, while at the same time struggling to maintain an air of intelligence.  This is usually the point at which they start using non-words like “er” and “um” to buy themselves a little time to think of something smart – but strategically uninformative – to say. 

Sometimes this strategy works, but more often than not the circle talker has no idea that he is, in fact, talking in circles. As a result, the talker falls short of sounding intelligent and instead impresses only those who are either less informed aren’t really paying attention in the first place. Not to mention that the “victims” are left exhausted after a lengthy verbal journey to nowhere and are probably at least a little bit irritated at having lost precious moments of their lives that they can never get back. But how do you fault someone for doing something of which they are completely unaware? You can’t, unless you’re a fan of making people feel like crap - and if that’s the case, shame on you.

For the circle talker, it’s a whole different ball game. It’s a chance for him to show off a little, tricking you into giving him your full attention even though he isn’t letting you get anything out of it other than the pleasure of listening to the sound of his voice (devious little monkeys, they are). However, it’s a bad sign when even the circle talker gets so wrapped up in whatever he’s saying that even he can’t remember what his point was, and even worse still if this fact becomes pathetically obvious to the listener while he is still talking.

Despite the plethora of circumstances in which it can be applied, people most often find themselves talking in circles to get out of a nasty situation, so let’s see it in action.  Meet Jenny and Jerry. Jenny loves her gummy bears; they are a special treat that she can only have once a month. So when she sends Jerry out to fetch those little bears and he comes back empty-handed, it is clear to Jerry that heads are going to roll unless he can come up with a really, really good explanation. Before Jenny can even say hello, Jerry launches into a long, drawn-out story of traffic issues and grocery store reconfiguration problems, stocking errors and a life and death encounter with a very vicious terrier who could smell the terror in his heart for being unable to acquire these elusive treats (though he tells her that it was smelling his intense fear of all four-legged creatures) and proceeded to chase him for several blocks. 

At the end of each “chapter” of his tale, Jerry highlights his ultimate triumph over each challenge he faced, but in an effort to “humble” himself, he also mentions his dedication to his task and the importance of perseverance for the benefit of the greater good. He even throws in some crucially-timed sound effects and grand arm gestures just to make his adventure even more dramatic, but is very careful not to mention that he didn’t actually bring home the bears. 

Jerry is making a desperate attempt to make Jenny forget what we already know – she is going to be pissed – but is hoping that she’ll lose sight of the fact that he has no gummy bears and will instead feel sympathetic and grateful for putting forth such a heartfelt effort at making her happy. Nice try, Jerry, but Jenny saw through your paper thin story (Jerry actually ran into his friend, Jim, and went to his house to play video games for four hours) and is even more irritated because she had to listen to Jerry embarrass himself with a drawn-out, fictitious adventure with no gummy reward at the end of the tunnel. Better luck next time, buddy.

All this to say that, while often irritating for those stuck listening to you, talking in circles can be your friend; you can get yourself out of almost any jam when you use it properly.  However, it didn’t quite work out that well for Jerry, who shows that if incorrectly applied, talking in circles just makes you look like a bit of a donkey. 

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