Last Night a DJ didn't save my life

Any idiot these days can become a DJ. While that's a slightly simplistic view, the truth is that anyone with two iPods and a Y-Connector stereo cable has the ability to be a DJ with a little practice. However, it takes a lot more to be a good DJ. So why are there so few good ones out there?

The answer is deceptively simple: they don't listen to their audiences. I'm not talking about a DJ who specializes in one particular genre of music such as trance, electro, or dubstep. I'm referring to the DJs who spin top 40 songs in the clubs that you visit on Saturday nights for a girls night out, the bachelorette party, or if you're a Circuit Kid, just because. The generalist DJs are failing to provide a good night out, and there are three things that they could do to make the clubbing experience alotbetter, and maybe in the process make them a little better known in clubbing circles.

Yes, we want to hear the latest Lady Gaga song, Madonna will always fill a dance floor, and there will always be a small army of one-hit wonders that will cause us to dance like maniacs, but let's not forget some of the oldies as well. I'm not suggesting you scrape off the mold and play "I Feel Love" by Donna Summer, but I've been to enough clubs in my day to know that a song like "Ray of Light" by Madonna will cause even the laziest dancers to step a little harder.

2. Take requests

It boggles my mind that there are DJs out there who will not take requests. We're not telling you how to DJ; the audience is suggesting a song that they love, and that hopefully more people on the floor will love too. I love me some Kylie Minogue on the dance floor. I am at a disadvantage, living in North America and not hearing her in mainstream clubs on a regular basis. "Love at First Sight" is one of those perfect dance songs that everyone recognizes and loves to dance to, yet every time I request it (the all of two times a year I now go out clubbing), I get told by the DJ that they don't "do requests." Well, you have a job as a DJ because the audience shows up to dance, not the other way around. Learn to please your audience, and they will keep coming back.

I recognize that there are still many DJs out there that prefer to use vinyl. In fact, it is this split between vinyl and electronic DJing (roughly half and half, from what I've heard), that vinyl has actually achieved somewhat of a revival in the last few years. More is becoming available to DJs and vinyl aficionados alike. However, if you are a DJ who uses a hard drive instead of a traditional turntable hooked up to a mixing deck, the least you could do is possess an actual music collection to "spin" with. This ties into what I said in number two quite a bit. The more extensive or wide-ranging collection of music the DJ has, the more they will appeal to their audience. It baffles me that a DJ can have some crappy one-hit wonder/obnoxious so-called "pop song" of the moment, yet completely misses having some of the most essential dance floor anthems out there. I once walked out of Barrymore's a couple years ago during Retro '80s night when the DJ told me that he didn't have New Order's "Blue Monday." The DJ did not have one of the most influential dance songs from the 1980s. To be fair, I think the song was older than him.

On the one hand, I can sympathize with the balance needed to be a good DJ. If you see a crowd of people dancing, you can only assume that they are having a good time. Yet, on the flip side, you should be able to tell by an empty dance floor or by unhappy faces when people request a song and you refuse, that perhaps you're not jockeying as well as you could be. Of course as a music connoisseur, I've learned that sometimes less is more. On a recent night out, I requested that the DJ play a Kylie Minogue song; he asked which one and I told him to spin his favourite. A couple songs later, a remix of "Slow" comes on. So while the DJs out there need to get back to listening to their crowds, the crowds also need to be a little more choosy with what they say. You can suggest your favourite artist, but let the DJ pick the song; it may end up saving the evening in the long run.

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