Home

5 reasons why the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter trailer is ruining a perfectly good movie

 Print E-mail
Written by April Yorke   
Monday, 13 February 2012 16:54

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this video

 

1. I have no idea what the story might be.
Chances are that there will be another (probably many other) trailer closer to the release date that gives away more of the plot. But the reason I wish I knew more of the story is . . .

2. The visuals aren't interesting.
I'll give the trailer this: it's supposed to be in 3D, and my computer screen isn't. But otherwise, I defy you to tell me what visually sets this trailer apart from, say, the one for Priest (besides the distinct lack of Paul Bettany. Someone really should have called him). (Incidentally, Priest turned out to be a much better trailer than it was a movie).

3. BRAMMM!
Inception was a great movie, no doubt about it. Now let it go.

4. "From the director of Wanted, Timur Bekmambetov."
As opposed to "From the director of Night Watch and Day Watch, those ballin' Russian vampire movies, Timur Bekmambetov" because, hey, Wanted featured Angelina Jolie's naked backside and James McAvoy: Action Hero.

5. "Are you a patriot or a vampire?"
Abraham Lincoln was a Civil War president, not a revolutionary one. Slavery is wrong (given), but I'm sure Southerners thought they were (and still are) patriots of some kind. Also, are those my only two choices? 'Cause I'm Canadian, and we tend to be a little more gunshy about these kinds of declarative statements.

Of course, I'll still see it. But get me a better trailer, okay?

Comments (2)Add Comment
feedSubscribe to this comment's feed
0
KG
February 13, 2012
Votes: +0
...

Maybe you should read the book then you might have a clue. But instead you write a bunch on nonsense about something you know nothing about.

Emily Goodacre
Emily Goodacre
February 14, 2012
Votes: +0
Yes that's...kind of the point

I'm guessing most people seeing this won't have read the book. But the trailer's still gotta convince them to see the movie, no?

Write comment
 
 
smaller | bigger
 

security image
Write the displayed characters

busy
Last Updated on Monday, 13 February 2012 06:36
 

April Yorke is a (Cult)ure Magazine contributor since Wednesday, 07 January 2009.

Other articles by this writer

© 2009 - 2013 Culture Magazine. Design by Web Design Ottawa