Dancing with the Stars: Acoustic Night

Welcome to the first of hopefully many entries about this season of DWTS. 

*Disclaimer--I haven't seen the earlier episodes of this season, and I don't usually watch the results shows because they are 95% filler. For good full recaps of these shows, visit www.televisionwithoutpity.com. Also, I don't know anything about dancing, except what I have learned about it on this show and one or two seasons of So You Think You Can Dance.

Today we'll go by couple:

Kurt Warner and Anna: Kurt has major pancake hands when he dances and when he tries to ensnare the audience with them, it is frightening. I know he has to be able to palm a football with those hands, but jeez.

Brandy and Maks: I have read that these two haven't been getting along so far, and they go on a weird "date" to get Brandy "in the mood" to dance the rumba. It looks awkward. And it really does seem like Maks doesn't like her.  The dance is good and Brandy looks pretty wearing a bejeweled body suit and bedsheet. Really. 

Rick Fox and Cheryl: Dang, that guy is tall. And super sweaty when he is done dancing. Good, though. Better than Kurt "pancake hands" Warner for sure. 

Kid from the Disney Channel and Lacey: This kid kind of sucks at dancing.

The Situation and Karina: I haven't seen any Jersey Shore, but I sure laughed when The Situation tried to flip Karina in warm up (0ver a couch) and she said, great, now do 360 (degrees). The Sitch's response? "360? That was a ROUGH 180". And it was. He seems funny and game for this dumb show, so props to him. 

Florence Henderson and Corky: Oh my. These are some older people. I don't know what to tell you here. Florence's daughter comes to tell her what isn't appropriate and SHE looks old. They are doing the Rumba.  I feel awkward watching this one. Like, so awkward that I flipped over to my NFL (damn rain delay).  Ok...I was just looking up the names of some of these people on the official ABC site and they have dumb names for all of the pairs. I must admit that I guffawed when I read "Team Florky". And so it will be henceforth. 

Jennifer Grey and Derek: Yikes...Jennifer Grey looks ultra scary with all that surgery. What happened to Baby? This is the worst. There is a bunch of crap about how "old" she is...ask Flo about that shit! And Derek wears a shirt in practice that says "JenHOUGHer" (his last name is Hough). My respect for him has dropped slightly. 

Bristol Palin and Mark: Bristol is not super graceful, but it is clear that she isn't a dancer like some of the other people (Brandy, Jennifer Grey), and she is trying pretty hard. Mark strips above the waist half-way through, and that is nice to see. The judges are kind of mean to her. 

Audrina Patridge and Tony: I don't know anything about this girl either. So far, she seems dumb...she is talking about her amazing journey from receptionist to leader of DWTS. I'm sure the great poets of our time will chronicle her story so that generations to come will hear her tale. I guess she is good at dancing, but I don't care about her. 

Other notes: 

• WTF? Is Judge Judy in the audience? I think she is. She looks older than Flo. 
• I love Tom Bergeron. He is a great host and a funny guy. He manages to needle the judges, but you can tell they still like him. 
• The gimmick of "Acoustic Night" was talked about a lot at the beginning and then didn't seem to be very important. Basically it meant a tiny stage and a lot of violins. I didn't really care one way or the other.
• Brooke Burke might be bad at math. Just putting it out there. 
• I always enjoy when the announcer says "Carrie Ann Inaba" in his British accent. It is fun to say. Try it. 
• I don't know if they have been doing this instant replay thing all season, but it is dumb. Asking people to tell us what they were thinking while dancing is stupid and we don't care. 
• Previously eliminated dancers include: David Hasselhoff, Margaret Cho and Michael Bolton. I am a bit sad I missed some of those. I am more sad that Flo is still here and Cho is gone. 
• I hope I didn't forget any couples!

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