Dancing with the Stars: Guilty Pleasures
|Written by Lauren Cheal|
|Monday, 25 April 2011 23:39|
It is guilty pleasures night on DWTS, and we kick off the night with a performance from Hanson. Yes. You read that correctly. Who lists “Mmmbop” as a guilty pleasure? Not I. All of these Hanson lads seem really old now, which makes me old. Good times. Apparently all of the songs tonight are “guilty pleasures” so I will be rating each of them for their guilt-factor. Please keep in mind that I don’t know anything about music.
Kirstie Alley and Maks: This week, these two are dancing a samba to Kirstie’s guilty pleasure of “Hit me Baby One More Time” by Britney. God bless the costumers for putting Kirstie in a very flattering outfit this evening. She looks pretty cute. Maks, on the other hand, is wearing a high-waisted trouser and it is giving him mom jeans butt. Unflattering! Their samba is ok. It isn’t as high-energy as most sambas, and Kirstie doesn’t seem to be having as much fun as usual. Len thinks the performance was great, and Bruno agrees. The boys give her two 9s and Carrie Ann gives her an 8. Not bad scores at all. Guilt-o-meter rating: 7 giant sunglasses out of 10. This song is really not that bad, and it is a pre-mess Britney, so it is forgivable.
Chris Jericho and Cheryl: This week these two are tackling the tango, and Chris’ song is the recently overplayed (thanks, Glee!) “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. The dance is ok…it certainly holds my attention, even though the tango is a harsher dance than is allowed for in this pop song. The judges don’t really like it. Bruno says Chris looked like a block of granite, which I kind of agree with. Len defends Chris and says that his technique is good. They get two 7s and an 8. Guilt-o-meter rating: 3 baseball caps out of 10. This song has been made into a mainstream hit by the aforementioned Glee and it is not really a guilty pleasure at all.
Romeo and Chelsie: This pair is waltzing to Celine’s Titanic-sized ballad, “My Heart Will Go On”. We learn that Romeo is a bit of a romantic and that he is inspired by Jack’s tale. Their waltz is pretty good. There are a couple of spots where Romeo is a little bit jerky, but overall, the dance is good. The judges really like the performance. The judges give him two 9s and the first 10 of the season (from Carrie Ann). Guilt-o-meter rating: This song definitely fits the bill for guilty pleasure. I thought about making a joke here about how no one actually enjoys this song, but by the time it started, I had a bit of an s-eating grin on my face, so I recant. 10 fake mustaches out of 10 awarded.
Chelsie Kane and Mark: Apparently earlier in the day, Mark injured himself. I don’t care. They are quickstepping to “Walking on Sunshine”. The dance is pretty good. Chelsie does well to keep up with Mark, and it is a fun song and a fast dance. My one complaint (as always) is that Mark outdances his partner. Like his kicks are way bigger than hers, which makes her look not so great. Len and Bruno liked it, but with small caveats, and Carrie Ann really loved it. This dance gets the second 10 of the season, and two 9s. Guilt-o-meter rating: Again, this is a song that has an official spot in the pop pantheon, and really isn’t a guilty pleasure at all. 3 big floppy sunhats out of 10.
Kendra Wilkinson and Louis: Kendra is dancing the samba, and Louis tells her to shake her (fake) boobs. Her foobs. Speaking of these things, they are distractingly coming at us in her outfit. She also has gross black braids stuck in her blonde hair and it looks very trashy. They are sambaing to “Livin’ La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin. The dance is ok. She seems to have the technique down, and the shaking is high-energy. Sometimes she seems to be a bit behind the music, and she does screw up at one point. She ends the dance by shaking her ass on top of the judges table. I guess she is playing to her strengths. The judges give her two 8s and a 9. Guilt-o-meter rating: This song is a bit of an abomination, and it is definitely a guilty pleasure. 9 out of 10 bob wigs awarded.
Hines Ward and Kym: We see Hines adorably practicing at home with a pillow during the clip package. He also draws out the dances like football plays, which makes me love him more. He and Kym are dancing the Viennese waltz to “End of the Road” by Boyz II Men. The dance is really good and Hines looks like a pro. He is so smooth and he has a lot of emotion in it too. Hines gets three 9s for his efforts. Guilt-o-meter rating: I just barely recognized the song, but I guess the Boyz is pretty embarrassing. 8 fake noses out of 10 awarded.
Ralph Macchio and Karina: These two are trying to recover from a bad week last week and they are doing the paso doble to “Everybody Dance Now” by C and C Music Factory. I think Karina totally falls at the beginning of the dance (I am always typing while watching so sometimes I miss things). It takes Ralph out of the dance for a bit, and they are like talking about it at one point. Other than that, the dance is entertaining…it is strong and energetic, and the judges still like it. It was, indeed, a fall and I am excited to see the slow-mo replay. On replay, we see that Karina slipped on Ralph’s giant coat. The judges give them three 8s for their effort. Guilt-o-meter rating: This song is kind of middle of the road, guilt-wise. It is by no means a great work of art, but it is fun. It just wants us to dance, and now. I give it 6 trench coats out of 10.