Gossip Girl's Sorry, But Her Love For You is Unconditional
|Written by April Yorke|
|Tuesday, 06 December 2011 13:06|
CHAIR! So close, and yet so far. Yup, that's about what I got out to last night's Gossip Girl, "Riding in Town Cars with Boys." Otherwise, Nate and Serena make the same plan they always make, only Dan's in this time; Ivy finally finds a reason to get out of Dodge already; and Rufus continues to be Goofus to the nth degree. Let's go over the highlights!
All you need is one
Apparently, all you need to become a super-successful newsman in NYC and the Vanderbilt’s last, great hope to lead the family is one editorial. At least that's what Nate's latest plot has taught me. Grandfather's ousted the still delicious Tripp from the position of crown prince thanks to an editorial (seriously. Because the paper isn't a daily or anything, so you only need to write one total editorial). So Tripp tattles to Nate that he isn't exactly the super-successful newsman he thinks he is, what with the Grandfather underwriting everything and putting Diana up to it. Nate is pissed, but then he forgets to be pissed because he's off to some wondrous high business/high debauchery retreat with Grandfather by the end of the episode. Also, somehow Max figures into Tripp's plans. Highlights: Toss up between Chuck telling Nate he was almost aroused by the one total editorial or the reverent look on Chuck's face when he repeats the name of the retreat (Allen Camp?). I started to wonder by boy-billionaire Bass hadn't already gotten his invite, then shuddered at the memory of the sex Narnia/Elle debacle. Except for one small part: CARTER BAIZEN! Oh, come back, I miss your pouty mouth.
Never roll back the clock
Dan and Serena are still mad at each other about the Inside movie adaptation even though no one else cares (fun fact: if you actually wanted to convince people it was worth adapting, you'd name drop Scott Rudin. Guy picks up everything). Serena explains the whole Zuckerberg zuckerberging that was doomed to occur, and therefore how she saved him, which convinces Dan to tell Blair he loves her. Mysteriously, Rufus thinks this is a grand idea. Remember when Rufus was kind of weirdo obsessed with Dan's relationship with Serena because he obviously thought it was his opportunity to right whatever terrible hardships he felt he had suffered with Lily back when the 80s were also the 90s? Rufus' sudden enthusiasm for Dair has a whiff of that. Rufus' advice to Serena, meanwhile, is to examine the chronicle of her life through Gossip Girl's lens. This somehow convinces her that Nate and Dan were the only two "good" guys she ever dated, and that DAN is the one she would like to date even now. To which I say, "CARTER BAIZEN." Serena doesn't need someone like Dan to try to smother the wildness inside her. She just needs someone she can be honest with about it. Highlights: the insane look of pride on Rufus’ face when Serena calls Dan one of the good ones; Serena’s leather shorts.
A tree that grows in Dumbo
Blair hasn’t called Louis, who is back and hiding out in the Consulate. She’s not going to call anyone or go anywhere until she figures out which man she wants, Chuck or Louis. Too bad the paparazzi bust in and send her fleeing to Dan’s loft. Dan keeps hinting at loving Blair the mostest (like when he tells her that he would love her child as though it were his own) while helping her decide, but it only prompts her to call Chuck. Chuck agonizes over whether to seize this opportunity but errs on the side of selflessness, telling Blair that only she can make the decision, but it couldn’t be a bad idea to marry the father of one’s child. Blair’s devastated. So much so that Dan steps outside himself for a second and dans something right for once. Highlight: No, really, just because he’s so very Dan about it doesn’t mean that Dan didn’t come through for Blair this time.
Party that Everyone Ends Up At, Chivy’s Out Edition
So Lily’s throwing Charlie a debutant ball at the Empire, entirely because they need a party for everyone to go to. She’s also reminding Chuck that she loves him unconditionally, all his darkness and his need and his danger. How much I enjoy these scenes will never cease, and neither will my amazement when Ed Westwick’s exquisitely expressive face reverts back to boyhood in these moments. Honestly, it touches my heart.
Serena’s decided, given that Dair is possibly the worst thing her two best friends could do to her, to help Louis get Blair. Chuck and Louis show up at the loft to tell Blair they both want her, but she’s not there. Turns out, Dan blindfolded her (with a necktie, much like how he killed Charlie Trout) and brought her to the deb ball, so Chuck and Blair could confess their undying love for one another. The fervour on Ed Westwick’s exquisitely expressive face when he finally learns that he, Blair, and the baby can be the family he’s always wanted is pretty sweet, too.
Somehow this only convinces Serena that she loves Dan more, so she tells him that he’s one of the good ones. The look on Dan’s face? “DUH.” Eventually he recovers enough to say, “Thanks.”
Meanwhile, Blair and Chuck speed off in one town car with Nate following in another. Blair and Chuck’s is leaking something or other, and Nate’s later comment to the confused driver about his destination nicely plants suspicion that someone sabotaged Chuck’s intended-for-Nate car. Then Blair and Chuck have an egregious Princess Di moment. For pity’s sake, it’s not like, “Hey, remember that time she was in an accident?” No, it’s how she died. That’s just cheap, GG.
Here come the wolves
Everyone’s at the hospital waiting for word, and Ivy has a breakdown about how she caused this accident (by alerting GG to Blair’s presence at the party, thereby alerting the paparazzi). She almost confesses the entire fraud to Rufus, misses her opportunity, and calls Carol (!) for a rescue. Oh, she alerted GG to divert attention from herself, as Max is still trying to shop his Chivy story around sans proof. Whatever, Max.
Serena blames the accident on Gossip Girl, insisting that she will finish what Diana started and take GG down. Nate’s in. They can use that paper he runs. Dan’s in, too, ‘cause he’s sitting there on the couch.
Bad news: Blair’s awake now (if this accident isn’t how the show does away with the pregnancy plotline, I will be very surprised indeed), but Chuck’s in a bad, bad way. How bad? So bad that Uncle Jack calls Diana, who’s on her way to New York.
In other news:
Monday, January 16, 2012: Chuck’s in a very bandaged coma, everyone’s sad, Blair prays. I wonder if he will have amnesia/regress to the bad old days.