Gossip Girl’s World Just Isn’t Gossip Girl’s World without Chuck |
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| Written by April Yorke |
| Tuesday, 21 September 2010 12:36 |
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Juliet Sharp: Life Coach Juliet and Nate apparently went on a seven hour coffee date, during which Nate spoke only of his relationship with Serena. How could that possibly fill seven hours? “Had sex on a bar stool, never seen or heard from again for a year, didn’t come back for me, slept with a bunch of dudes like my cousin T-Money, got together with me, told me she needed time, so I broke up with her.” Simple! He throws stuff out there like “she cheated on me” because Nate’s still a 12 year-old girl and acts like he didn’t break up with her for wanting to time to think (not that he’s not within his rights, but, like, deed is done, dude). Juliet claims that what Nate really needs is a life coach, a job for which she is ready to apply. After showering and changing (including Nate in shorts?), they show up at Dan’s, where Humphrey is making up his own lullabies that include audience reminders that Jenny is in Hudson. It’s kind of cute. Less cute is Dan’s hair (Nate’s is looking good) and even less cute is Nate reading Dan’s text. Both gentlemen got the same text from Serena: I need to talk to you. Juliet tells Nate to decide if he wants Dan out of the running for Serena’s heart. Nate’s thinky face reappears, making me cheer. We never actually see Nate make a decision (shock), but Juliet goes ahead and decides for him that he wants Dan out of the running. She helpfully suggests Vanessa right back into Dan’s bed. When Dan figures this out and calls Nate out on his manipulations (Nate: Why are we whispering? Is Vanessa still here?), Dan realizes that he wants Vanessa, and both gentlemen decide to check out of Serena’s drama. It’s just as well, as Serena still doesn’t know which one she wants. Then go for someone new, I say! On the relationship front, Juliet continues to demur, telling Nate he’s not ready yet to move on, but it turns out that her true plot was keeping both men away from Serena. She also tells whoever is calling the shots over the phone that she misses him/her, initially making me think that she’s working with Poppy Lifton since Georgina ate her arm or whatever and Gabriel cared about Serena for real. Now I’m wondering if Carter Bazien is working his pouty little mouth and magic charm. He certainly would want to see Serena single. There’s probably a host of pissed off people to consider, but those are my front runners for now. Chuck Bass, Man of the People; Blair Waldorf, People’s Princess Chuck’s taken a job waiting tables (I think?) with Eva’s uncle, which is all well and good until Blair spots him from a cab on his way to work. Blair, naturally, is convinced that Chuck is there to woo her back. In the meantime, Eva’s uncle is impressed with Henry’s work ethic (aw), but seeing Blair has Chuck so rattled he’s ready to run off to India. Serena, having confirmed that the body at the morgue isn’t Chuck’s (Blair uses her psychic powers to deduce that Chuck was mugged and not that he threw everything away, Batman Begins-style), combs the neighbourhood where Chuck was spotted until the uncle gives her Henry’s address. At the door, Chuck acts like Serena is a crazy person, which is fair enough given the ensemble. She lingers, and he finally emerges, informing Serena that he’s not playing; he’s done with Chuck Bass. Serena, ever the voice of reason when she takes a moment to give a shit, tells Chuck that there is no running from one’s past. Chuck’s guilt is near overwhelming, though. For him, there’s no coming back from the destruction he’s left in his wake. He even breaks character with Eva for a minute, showering her with money so that they can run away, claiming it’s a small inheritance from a grandfather looking to be put to good use. Eva agrees to India. In the meantime, Chuck sends his shares of the Empire and Bass Industries (I thought he liquated his shares to buy the Empire, but I guess not all of them) to Lily care of Serena with a note attached about he no longer wishes to be Chuck Bass. Off screen, Blair’s charmed her way back into Louis’ good books, so she plans a day pretending to be Diana, People’s Princess, to further ingratiate herself. Blair is worthy of love for so many reasons that it pains me to see her put on this act just to land a royal. Fortunately, Louis invites her to a ball and sends lots of pretty dresses over for her to choose from. That’s more like it. In a stunning red dress, the chauffeur takes Blair to Harry Winston to accessorize, while Serena calls Blair from Henry and Eva’s empty flat in a flat-out panic. Fortunately, the stunning engagement ring has been returned to Harry Winston directly. Blair is magnetically drawn to the ring’s flawless perfection when Serena and the police detective turn up to claim it. They magically figure out that Chuck is at the train station (which one? There are many in Paris!), and Serena finally convinces Blair to stop Chuck from running away. Blair runs into the station as Eva realizes that Henry was too good to be true (heartbreak: that’s probably the first time anyone’s ever said and meant that about Chuck). Inside, Ed Westwick’s exquisitely expressive face initially looks at Blair so hungrily that screens all over the Eastern seaboard burst into flames. Replacement TVs reveal a face that says, “Getting punched in the gut, even when you see it coming, hurts like hell, especially when you got shot in the gut and still have received no medical attention three months on,” in response to Blair telling Chuck she doesn’t love him anymore. She, too, believes that there is no running away from the past, and any positive change he makes will be more meaningful if he returns to the scene of his crimes to do so. Chuck trots out his old line about destroying the only thing he loves (I laugh a little when Chuck says that because of how incredibly untrue it is. Remember when he used to tell Nate that? Chuck’s heart is so full) and notes that it would be easier for Blair if he never came back. Blair, gorgeous creature that she is, can forgive him this much: her world just wouldn’t be her world without him in it. So Chuck Bass, in a brown pinstripe suit, hair more slicked back than it has been all episode, shows up outside Eva’s the next morning in a town car. He’s done some terrible things but none since he met her. He invites her to come to New York with him. “You bought me a ticket?” Eva asks. “I bought the airline We don’t need tickets,” Chuck mildly replies. “I’m Chuck Bass.” Oh, hells yeah. The season has officially begun. In other news:
Next time: Serena and Blair start at Columbia where Blair, not Serena, is selected for some secret society which includes Juliet Sharp and the triumphant return of Penelope.
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| Last Updated on Tuesday, 21 September 2010 21:57 |
Truer words were never spoken. Last night’s Gossip Girl, “Double Identity,” scored higher than last week’s episode in Ed Westwick faces, and it also scored higher for the return of Nate’s thinky face, Blair’s amazing dress, and (could it be?) momentary Dan cuteness. Plus we’re one step closer to figuring out Juliet’s deal, which probably means we’re about to completely flip the switch on whatever we thought it was. Our world just isn’t our world without Gossip Girl.
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