Supernatural: Maybe There Was Nothing to Worry About |
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| Written by April Yorke |
| Saturday, 02 October 2010 00:00 |
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Evil Baby! A woman with blood-covered hands is running through her home with her baby cradled in her arms. She hides under the bed, where the body of her no doubt husband's exsanguinated corpse nearly causes her to scream, but she waits for the screaming to commence when something drags her out by her ankles and hacks her to bits (or something. Point is, she does bloodily) while her baby lies calmly under the bed. The only way this baby could be so calm is if it's an Evil Baby. Hurrah! Creepy kids is one of the things this show does best. Sam's checking out the crime scene at Grandpa Samuel's behest but finds nothing to suggest that the crime is supernatural in nature. Sam, have you seen this show? Even so, Grandpa decides that regardless of who's making it, "baby stew is baby stew," so Sam ought to look into it. Hello to the imagery, Grandpa. Anyway, pretty soon Sam puts it together that all the missing baby families had the same alarm system that never went off, so he breaks into the other house in the state with a six month-old baby and the same system. The family is bleeding out on the floor while Sammy fights something that moves quickly and doesn't care for silver. Monster gets away, leaving Sammy to find . . . ! Okay, two things: 1) if the previouslies are going to belabour the point by showing us every single scene ever about shifters, you can't ask us to be surprised when there are shifters. I realize that that's network vs. creative, but what are you going to do? I can only watch the show as it is presented to me, and 2) I could have sworn that the guys already knew shifters were born human from way back in season one's "Skin," but my research suggests that the shifter only told that Becca, so maybe she didn't get a chance to share. Fine, Dean can be forgiven for thinking that shifters are sui generis. ANYway, Dean made Lisa and Ben move, he's got them on lock down, and he's yelling at Ben for finding his Metallicar keys, opening its trunk and that trunk's false bottom, taking out a sawed off shotgun, and playing with it. And while you and I and everyone we know thinks it's plenty alright for a parent or guardian to yell at their kid for playing with a gun and tell him or her to never touch a gun again, the episode treats Dean's yelling as either a) a sign of bad parenting, b) a sign that he's chosen the wrong life path, or c) both. Seriously. Parents, please don't bring guns into homes with children. If you absolutely must ('cause you're a marshal), please lock them away and don't let your kids get to them. If they do, feel free to yell. This PSA brought to you by Dead Scott. All of this is going down when Sam calls and begs Dean out of retirement, but you know Dean's not yet fully recommitted to the life of a hunter since he still drives his truck. Seems Sammy doesn't know what to do with the Evil Baby he picked up at the last murder scene, and he needs newly parental Dean to help him. Dean's okay with the baby, while Darling Revenant Sammy is completely disassociated from caring yet again. I want to get to the bottom of why Sam no longer cares, but I can't imagine how the actual reveal will pay off. So long as it doesn't pay off with long conversations with oneself in the mirror. Unless that leads to a hair cut. A hot man is a terrible thing to waste. The boys are wandering the aisles of Save On Foods, looking for diapers and butt paste and other assorted baby supplies when scary shifter grandma lady tries to take the baby. Sam slams into Shifter Grandma and runs away with the baby because babies are like footballs and you can totally just do that, while Dean goes in for the fight, realizes that Shifter Grandma's got the drop on him in the eyes of the store employees, and makes a break for it. I just realized that the car seat in Sam's Dodge Charger means that Sam stole that dead couple's car seat. Heh. While Sam's out gathering intel from a man who's wife swore up and down that he was the father of her baby while he swears up and down that he was away when she conceived (nice shade of ancient Greece), Dean's shocked to discover the little critter is a shifter when the formerly white baby morphs into the black baby on the diaper package. Little bits of baby are splattered all over and around the crib. Amazing! Soon after, Shifter Grandma morphs into Shifter Cop and breaks in to take the tyke back to his real father, which he suspiciously amends to "our father." For some reason, I get confused and think that he is reference to himself and Dean, and then I start going, "Huh? Sucky John's your dad? Sucky John's not Dean's dad?" This is not what he was talking about. Doesn't matter - Sam busts in and puts a silver bullet in the shifter's heart. They hightail it down to the Campbell Compound, so they can stand around arguing for a while. Dean refuses to hand the kid over to a bunch of people he doesn't trust, so Sam asks him to hand the baby over to Sam instead. Sam promptly hands the baby to Grandpa Samuel because Sam is a dick. Seriously. The Campbells start talking adoption and the natural advantages a shifter would have as a hunter, so that’s when a shifter comes a-callin’ for his baby boy. Dean and Sam hide out in the basement that is nowhere near as cool as Bobby’s panic room while the Campbells shoot round after round of tranquilizers into Shifter Grandpa Samuel. At first I’m like, “Have you heard of silver,” but then I remember that they probably want this guy for their zoo. Man, this episode is confusing me. Whatever, all these tranqs don’t take, so a beat down ensues. Younger blonde male Campbell dies in the fracas. I hope the rest follow in short order. Anyway, just when Sammy gets the bright idea to go check on what’s going on upstairs. That’s when Shifter Sammy appears in the door’s window, rips the door off, and beats Sammy down. Still, Dean’s not in the mood to hand this baby over and gets even less in the mood when the shifter goes from Sammy to Dean without – get this – going splat. He just sort of shivers into Dean’s shape. Anyway, Shifter Dean chokes the shit out of Dean because it’s Thursday, so someone needs to get choked, and takes off with his son. Every decides that this must have been an alpha, the shifter origin of all the half-humans they have encountered in the past, and feels better about themselves for getting their asses handed to them. Later, when Sammy gets ready to drive Dean home, Dean asks Sammy if he heard Shifter Cop say “our father,” meaning that Sammy would have known someone else would come after the baby, meaning that he intentionally brought the baby to the Campbell Compound to use him as bait. If that seems straightforward and like it has all the pieces in place, I did a better job of explaining it than Dean did. Sammy looks as confused and lies (?) that he didn’t hear any such thing. He just thought Campbell Compound was the best place to figure out what to do next. I like how Campbell Compound is 1) location-less and 2) completely obvious. Everyone and their brother would be like, what’s with that farm with the giant fence around it? Somehow, this makes Dean realizes that all is not right with Darling Revenant Sammy, so he tells Lisa that he’s feeling really low re: quitting hunting. Lisa realizes that once you rehabilitate a wild animal, you have to set it free. She tells Dean that they will have a long haul trucker relationship: mostly he’ll hunt, but sometimes he’ll swing by to see how she and Ben are doing. Dean flips up his collar and pulls the tarp off Metallicar, setting things right with the world. Oh, and Grandpa Samuel? Is collecting things that go bump in the night for someone. And that someone is pretty pissed that Samuel didn’t bag him an alpha. Next time: Something that I forgot once it meant that Castiel was going to show up. Erm, the boys need him for something, he needs the boys for something. Castiel!
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While "Two and a Half Men" wasn't a 100% perfect episode of Supernatural, it certainly made me less wary of the season ahead: good action, good gore, and -- thank goodness -- Metallicar finally hits the road. Show, there may be life in you yet.
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