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Vampire Diaries: Everything You've Ever Thought About This Show Confirmed

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Written by April Yorke   
Friday, 07 May 2010 10:33

Photo: Bob Mahoney/The CW ©2010 The CW Network, LLCLast night's episode, "Isobel," pretty much confirmed every plot/character guess you've ever had. It was kind of eerie. Let's go in chronological order.

There is No Such Thing as a Vampire Compass

Bonnie's been reading Emily's grimoire, and it turns out Jonathan "My Science Is Better Than Your Science" Gilbert didn't have the mad inventing skills previously believed. Everything Johnathan invented was actually spelled by Emily to work, including the invention currently in play. It is harmful to vampires in some non-specific way.

Damon Loves Elena

Damon and Isobel spend a few minutes doing some vampire kink stuff perfected by Spike and Drusilla, but Damon's already fastforwarded to the Buffy season five episode, "Crush," so he's all, "Threatening Elena was a big mistake." Later, Isobel spills to Elena in front of Damon and Stefan that Damon is in love with Elena. Stefan confronts Damon about this later, and Damon all but throws down his gauntlets in suggesting that he's there for Elena in a way Stefan is not. I've said this before, so I'm not going to get into it too deeply here. Suffice it to say that early in the episode Damon makes a crack about Caroline, and, while Elena rolled her eyes over Damon's troubled soul or some such, I said, "Oh, the girl you abused and tried to kill? Good times." Grow up, Damon.

Isobel is a Bitch from Hell

Isobel spends the episode being a bitch in sundry ways: messing with Alaric's head, threatening Stefan (hee! like that's going to work), getting Matt pinned under a parade float (Stefan uses his vamp strength for the rescue), kidnapping Jeremy, and getting John beat up. It's all in the name of acquiring the invention, and Elena hands it over in exchange for Jeremy. Isobel hints that Katherine will come knocking on Elena's door eventually, warns Elena that she's "doomed as long as [she has] a Salvatore on each arm," and compels Alaric to kick her out of his heart. Secretly, she regrets becoming a vampire, but, frankly, I don't care. She put a parade float on Matt. Not cool, lady. Also, she's working with Katherine.

John is Elena's Bio-Dad

Isobel refers to Elena's bio-dad as a "teenage waste of space" and confirms that she and John were an item back in the day (twice she says that she thinks John was in love with her). At the end of the episode, they get teary-eyed over the phone, making plans to kill Stefan and Damon so that they can "protect [their] little girl." Elena needs protecting from fools like this. Damon also reasons out that John is Elena's dad and tosses that tidbit to Stefan to drop on Elena. I think he's betting that Stefan will delay for whatever reason, and he'll be able to act like he is the one being honest with Elena instead of Stefan the stone cold liar. Either that, or he genuinely believes that Elena will lean on him. 

The Connective Tissue

Isobel wants Alaric to set up a meet with Elena, but he's disinclined. Isobel's idea of a negotiation involves violence and threats to the general populace. Elena agrees for this reason, and it turns out Isobel wants the invention. Elena's pretty upset after the meet, and Bonnie starts to thaw toward her when she sees Elena crying, but she takes off as Stefan approaches (nice sound work: you actually hear the crunch of Stefan's heel before you see him). While held hostage by Isobel, John finally admits to Jeremy that he also knows all about vampires, thanks to Dr. Grayson Gilbert, and that he believes that none can be good. Bonnie says she can undo whatever the invention does via the grimoire, so Elena turns over what she thinks is a deactivated device. I assured my viewing companions that it is not, and, lo, Bonnie admits -- obliquely to Caroline and obviously to the audience -- that she did not deactivate it. The device still does whatever it's supposed to, which is a boon for Katherine, who wants Isobel? John? to use it to kill all the tomb refugees (unclear why exactly. Fear of revenge?). After his safe return, Jeremy tells Elena that he read her diary and knows everything, including the mind wipe. There's a hint of understanding on his face when she tells him that the night Vicki died he had the same look on his face as the night their parents died, but it disappears pretty quickly, as does Jeremy when he slams the door on her face. 

In other news:

  • Jeremy spends the episode trying to get a hold of Anna, and she finally turns up in his room, grief-stricken by her mother's death. No word yet on whether she suspects John. 
  • All the high school peeps supposedly spend the day building parade floats for Founders Day (just found already. I can't believe the townspeople go through this rigmarole every damn year). Tyler's mad art skills land him in charge of the history float (don't ask me); Caroline, perhaps as Miss Mystic Falls, is in charge of the Founders Court float.
  • Matt is still mad at Tyler, but he relents enough to let Tyler drive him to the hospital after the parade float drop. 

Next time: season finale, Founders Day, parade, tomb refugee revenge on Mystic Falls, fire. One can only hope Emily Valentine turns up to set the parade floats on fire.

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Last Updated on Saturday, 08 May 2010 00:37
 

April Yorke is a (Cult)ure Magazine contributor since Wednesday, 07 January 2009.

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