Vampire Diaries Finds Hilarity in the Lengths It has to go to to Repeatedly Save Your Life
|Written by April Yorke|
|Wednesday, 15 December 2010 23:29|
Given that “By the Light of the Moon” aired in December instead of November, it can be forgiven for not hitting the whiz-bang heights of some of the previous episodes of The Vampire Diaries. Still, plenty to go on: Stefan and Katherine in the tomb; Damon, Bonnie, and Jeremy on Elena watch; Caroline on Tyler watch. Throw in a mysterious newcomer and some further Elijah mystery, and you’ve got yet another solid instalment of this insanely watchable series.
Teen Wolf, Too
Tyler’s watching Mason’s transformation video again, but the way that he’s also running around preparing his gear makes me think it’s not exactly for the second time. More like the hundredth. He’s resorted to leaving messages on Mason’s olde tyme answering machine, which some blonde overhears. Seriously, aren’t we past this kind of “technology” trapping? The only people who still have this kind of machine are my parents, who just discovered email a month ago. Find another way, writers. Tyler’s message, though vague, is just enough to perk up the blonde’s ears. She immediately heads from Florida to Mystic Falls (which, how fast can she drive?) to find Tyler. After talking to Lady Mayor about Mason’s disappearance, Jules (that’s the Blonde) heads to the Grill to find Tyler (for that is where Lady Mayor thinks he is), but not before making a phone call informing someone (pack master?) that Mason lied about there being no more werewolves in Mystic Falls. Hey! He died before Tyler killed that girl, okay? As far as he knew, he was the only one. Aw, I miss Mason.
Caroline’s helping Tyler set up down in the old Lockwood cellar. Fortunately, neither feels the need to document this momentous event for future generations. Tyler notes that the guy who sold him the equipment said that it can withstand 5000 pounds of pressure, but neither Caroline nor Tyler is sure if that’s enough. To Caroline’s dismay, Tyler strips down to his shorts (“It’s not The Hulk. I don’t think I get to keep my pants”), and they settle in for a long night of torture. At various points, Tyler’s bones start to break and reform into new, more lupine shapes, but, by the time he crawls back into the shadows to go full wolf, Caroline’s forced to lock the gate, bar the wooden door, and run into the woods to keep herself safe. When things die down, she carefully ventures back. The wooden door is damaged but not broken, and through it she spies naked Tyler lying on the floor. She runs in past the twisted gate and damaged chains and covers his nakedness. Caroline tries to congratulate him on making it through, but Tyler cries. He’s not okay. Caroline holds him.
“Elena’s on a martyr tear.”
Up in Elena’s room, Bonnie and Elena are arguing, moonstone-style. Bonnie wants to focus on breaking the curse, while Elena wants her to put her efforts of getting Stefan out of that tomb. Bonnie knows right well that Stefan puts Elena first, and she’s sticking to the stone. Jeremy comes in at the tail end of the argument just long enough to share A Look with Bonnie while someone plinks on the piano plaintively (Elena completely misses this) and remind Elena that her death wish, however good intentioned, would have negative consequences for others. Do you think this gets through to our girl? Of course not! The minute no eyes are on her, Elena’s grabbed the stone from Bonnie’s purse and tries to slip out the front door. Bonnie and Jeremy catch her, but let her go only to . . . bounce against the mystical lock Bonnie installed to keep Elena in! HA! I mean, I love that Elena’s a brave little toaster, really I do, but she’s not the only one in this fight. It might be about her, but that’s only a result of biology. Everyone has a role to play, so it’s everyone's decision. The sooner she gets that, the better. Jeremy looks duly impressed with Bonnie’s witchy mojo, while I start to wonder what’s so different about this spell than the fatally mystical tomb lock.
“I find hilarity in the lengths I have to go to to repeatedly save your life.”
Down in the tomb, Stefan’s only mildly annoyed about the mystical lock now holding Elena in. Damon’s keeping him abreast while dropping off a care package that included candles (in case they’re feeling romantic?) and lunch in the form of this show’s ever-popular blood-filled plastic water bottle. Don’t any of these people have reusable bottles? Mind, I get that the clear makes it easier to see the blood, but that’s just another reason to use a metal bottle. Then no one who shouldn’t sees the blood, and blood tastes kind metallic anyway! Metal bottles FTW. Also, I wonder if that’s a human, animal, or human-animal cocktail. ANYway, Stefan refuses the blood on account of how he would have to “share” with Katherine, by which he means, Katherine would happily pry it from his cold, dead hands. Damon sees the wisdom in this and takes off to guard Elena/spur Bonnie on.
Back chez Gilbert, Elena pouts while Damon admires his ingenuity in getting Elena to stay put. Damon catches Jeremy up on his exposition (Bonnie is on moonstone duty, Caroline’s handling Tyler), all while chiding Elena’s suicidal, little miss meffet tendencies and sitting what I consider too close for comfort, but he gets a call from his BFF Alaric and heads to the Grill instead, leaving Jeremy in charge. Jeremy immediately hops on the couch and starts trying to jockey Elena out of position until she pushes him clear off the couch while he laughs. It’s a nice brother-sister moment that the show doesn’t offer too often, so let’s enjoy.
Down at the Grill, you see, Alaric’s overheard the whole werewolf-Jules-Mason officially missing sitch, and now Damon’s got something else to pile on his already full plate. Poor kid. He’s only just learning how not to be murderous scum. Damon confirms that he totally murdered Mason, and he and Alaric set a little plan in motion to see if Jules is among the furry beasts. Unfortunately for the actress, any good will I might have been willing to extend the character has been immediately cancelled out by the costuming department: once the jacket comes off, Jules is revealed to be wearing an ill-fitting grey tank that shows her bra both from the top and the sides. Lady, look into shirts. Anyway, Damon and Alaric pull a creepy rapist manoeuvre wherein Damon distracts her while Alaric slips some wolfsbane in her drink. Fortunately Jules has seen enough TV movies to know not to accept open drinks from strangers and never takes a sip. Eventually, she calls Damon out on being a vampire, and a stupidly obvious one at that, then takes off under a cloud of threats. Damon tries to follow her, but his BFF finally gets him to understand that chasing down a werewolf under the full moon is perhaps not the best idea Damon’s ever had.
A spell and its talisman
Bonnie shows up on Luka’s door step looking for witchy help, which is rich considering she nearly killed him, but he’s quick to accept her apology. Seems the Good Doctor collects grimoires, so there’s bound to be a spell in there to break the bind between a spell and its talisman. Up on the roof of the Grill (I think – looks like the same vantage point as we saw when Damon dragged Vicki up there for a compel-off with Stefan) (pour one out for Vicki), Bonnie and Luka make a romantic circle of candles and get to chanting. The flames spurt, and the stone floats until suddenly sparks burst forth. De-spelled! Bonnie’s impressed and maybe a little into Luka (really? this guy? Over Jeremy?), so she lets him keep the moonstone. Luka promptly turns the not-at-all de-spelled (duh) stone over to the Good Doctor all the while throwing enough attitude so that the audience understands he’s not on board with pulling the wool over Bonnie’s eyes. Whatever, dude. Choices. Also, this guy? Over Jeremy?
A Nightmare on Tomb St.
Stefan’s just trying to get a little rest while Katherine bitches about adding “fasting” to the growing list of Saint Stefan’s vows. She describes the “excruciating” pain of desiccation (“your veins start to rub together like sandpaper”), but Stefan puts that off, sure that the suffering he will feel will pale in comparison to the joy he’ll find in watching her suffer. Oh, this is a dream. You know how I can tell? Stefan’s body language says “sex, sex, sex” with every movement. Anyway, Katherine’s on his case about how Damon and Elena are surely banging topside, and Stefan’s resolve is weakening with every passing moment until he can barely manage a “stop” before the kissing begins. There’s lots of slamming around and shirts coming off, but, before things get too far, Stefan pops up awake from the nightmare. Hee! Katherine’s all proud of herself, but what she’s not getting here is that she’s Stefan’s Freddy Kruger. Sex with her was a nightmare from which he awoke panting and in a panic. “Oh, joy! Sex with me is such a delightful dream that you would wrench yourself out of a deep sleep to avoid it. Success is mine!” Stefan growls at Katherine to get out of his head, and Katherine smirks that perhaps an eternity in the tomb wouldn’t be so bad.
Is there anything the Founders can’t ruin?
At Lady Mayor’s request, Jenna’s pulling together her sister’s files for a reporter who’s in town doing research on historic Mystic Falls, and, by reporter, we mean Elijah. Will someone just tell Jenna the damn truth already? Then she would stop inviting all and sundry into her house! Elena bolts upstairs just as soon as she can, but Elijah’s already zipped up there before Jeremy even makes it to the door. My viewing companion and I have a hard time getting a read on this situation. She thinks Elena wants to make sure Jer’s still alive, but I think you wouldn’t bother knocking if that were the case. If she’s looking for protection, I’m still not sure why she would go to Jeremy first. ‘Cause he has the Gilbert ring, I guess. Again, Bonnie has Emily’s grimoire, so why she isn’t just whipping those things up is beyond me. ANYway, Elena sends Jeremy down to help Jenna.
In her room, Elena wonders if Elijah’s ready to turn her over to C/Klaus, but being the world’s oldest vampire obsessed with a curse can turn you into a paranoid recluse. Elijah, perhaps as a daywalker, perhaps for other reasons, fell out of favour with C/Klaus a long time ago and doesn’t share his preoccupation with Petrova doppelgangers and their blood. When the time is right, he’d rather use Elena to lure C/Klaus out and kill him. Though she has no reason to trust him, she hasn’t any better offers, so Elena agrees to essentially stop trying to get herself killed every five seconds but with one caveat. Oh, Elena. Listen to Soulless Sammy: when has a deal ever been a good thing?
The first bite is the deepest
Damon’s walking around his giant, empty house (get a human already!) when he finds Rose in front of the Eternal Fireplace. She apologizes, but Damon tells her that there’s nothing here for her. Rose admits that she has nowhere else to go, which I find confusing. She’s been on the run for 500 years. People on the run don’t ever have anywhere specific to go, do they? It’s not like she just needed to cross the border and hope not to get extradited. Whatever, Rose and Damon don’t have time to get into it before a wolf assumed to be Jules busts in there, and Rose takes the attack for Damon. The wolf gets a good bite in before Damon runs it through with a sword. The wolf limps off while Rose’s shoulder heals up. Uh-oh. Damon and Rose are relieved. Definitely uh-oh. Slow acting poison, I say. Later, in Rose’s pink shorty robe, Damon agrees to let her stay and starts dancing his fingers up her thigh, but Rose tells him she has too much self respect to get involved with a man who’s in love with another woman. She walks away in front of him, though, so he’s got time to grab her and pull her into a kiss with vamp speed. Rose decides that she could, however, do with a friend with benefits situation, but things don’t go too far down that vein before her previously healed shoulder erupts in boils. Yup, slow acting poison.
“Thank you for having the good sense to be frightened.”
Down at the tomb, Katherine’s now bitching about Stefan giving her the silent treatment. HA! He’s been down there for one day, and he’s already driving her bonkers. Keep up the good work, Stefan. Stefan informs her that he’d be glad to discuss how sorry she is for all the suffering she’s caused. Katherine is, of course, not sorry. She’ll never apologize for being a survivor, first. Stefan offers her the chance to prove that there’s something about her worth trusting, and, while she worries that Stefan is merely playing her, Katherine eventually gives up that it was Isabel, research expert, that found her and not the other way around as Isabel told us. Man, really, Isabel again? So now we’re meant to believe that Isabel could be useful in tracking C/Klaus down. They hear a noise and head to the door to investigate.
‘Tis Elijah! Stefan’s free to go, as per Elena and Elijah’s deal, while Elijah compels Katherine to stay put. Katherine begs Stefan not to let Elijah leave her there. He sizes her up and softly, matter of factly says, “Goodbye, Katherine.” Tough to get a read here: does she know, as Slater did, that she’s been compelled? Or does she, like humans, not realize? Either way, what does she think Stefan could do? Also, why didn’t Elijah just have the Good Doctor and Luka put the lock back up? Also also, the Good Doctor must have some serious witchy mojo to be able to break that thing.
Chez Gilbert, Elena catches Stefan’s reflection in her window and rushes to him. Aw, I love these two! I think I might get a little emotional, you guys. The two of them just kind of glow at each other, in love and so relieved to be in each other’s arms, and the particulars of the Elena-Elijah Accord are going to have to wait until morning as Stefan and Elena hit the bed. Erm, Stefan? Might want to boot those doors shut with vamp speed.
In other news:
Next year: Rose goes blood thirst crazy as a result of her bite and maybe tries to kill Elena while Damon searches for a cure. Matt and Tyler both kiss Caroline. Stefan doesn't wear a shirt.
|Last Updated on Tuesday, 28 December 2010 11:38|