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Vampire Diaries: The Middle Is Exactly Where You Need to Be

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Written by April Yorke   
Friday, 29 October 2010 14:54

Photo: Quantrell D. Colbert/The CWGoing into last night’s The Vampire Diaries, “Masquerade,” we knew two things: that Stefan and Damon were going to kill Katherine and that Matt was going to die to turn Tyler, which mean that we knew one more thing: neither of these characters were going to die. Not that The Vampire Diaries isn’t the kind of show that goes around just killing characters for the heck of it – because it so is and that’s one of the many reasons we love it – but because it’s too soon to kill Katherine and killing Matt would just be a waste. The great thing about this show, though, is that you’re actually on the edge of your seat wondering how these plots will be thwarted. And that how? Is so awesome. I love this show.

Because I’m Going to Kill Her

Eternal Fireplace. “Masquerade” begins with the now classic intercut intro. Damon’s administering a calming tumbler of blood to a shaken Caroline while prompting her to run the story by a newly arrived Stefan. Caroline’s story is cut with delightful little editorials from Damon. The gist: Katherine’s down at the Grill impersonating Elena. In the bathroom, she once again uses Caroline as her messenger: tell Damon and Stefan that I want the moonstone tonight at the masquerade ball. Having something Katherine wants is one thing, but having an opportunity is something neither brother can pass up. Damon immediately crows that he’s going to kill Katherine, and Stefan goes, “No, you’re not.” This goes back and forth for a short while because Somerhalder and Wesley have got the brother thing down pat, but finally Damon is like, “This is no time for your humanity, bro,” and Stefan tells the truth, “You're not going to kill her. [beat] Because I’m going to kill her.” Aw, hells ya.

 And Bonnie Makes Six

Matt (?), Elena, and Jeremy bring Jenna home from the hospital. There’s this weird thing were Matt almost seems to know he’s going to die, as he takes time to tell Elena that she and Stefan are going to make it and give her a big hug goodbye. In the kitchen, Jeremy asks what they are going to do to get back at Katherine, and Elena points out she’s done what Katherine asked, so they’re safe now. Jeremy can’t believe that Elena’s that naïve, and I can’t believe that Jeremy gets to be right. Oh, girl. Also, Jeremy Gilbert, Vampire Hunter! Jeremy takes off for . . .

Eternal Fireplace, now pulling double duty as the Situation Room. General Stefan Salvatore gives a little speech about how they are going to kill Katherine tonight, and it leads to fine sights like this, this, and this. That’s right – wood knuckles for fighting vampires. Oh, show. You really love me, don’t you? Bonnie shows up with Emily’s grimoire and balks at the sight. Privately, Bonnie tells Stefan that maybe this isn’t the best way to get Elena back, and Stefan admits that while he does want Elena back, neutralizing the threat that Katherine represents is in everyone’s best interests. Jenna was merely a shot across the bow. Bonnie admits that she can jury rig another mystical lock like the one Emily put on the tomb lo those many years. Because he’s seen a lot of movies, General Stefan then gives a speech about how if anyone wants to back out, now is the time. Lieutenant General Damon Salvatore also weighs in about how he doesn’t need any lily-livered privates pissing their pants and running home to mama. Because they’ve also seen a lot of movies, everyone’s in. Yay, a caper! The only thing I love more than a caper is a con. Actually, I might love a caper a little bit more.    

Masquerade Caper

Katherine’s kindly old innkeeper is helping her carry her mountains of shopping bags back up to her room. I am immediately curious as to whether Katherine has this lady compelled since she doesn’t think it’s Elena or that it’s weird that she looks identical to Elena. And before you say, “Why would everyone know Elena,” I direct you to Exhibit A, the pilot, when Elena asked Stefan how come he knew where she lived, and he said, “It’s a small town. I stopped the first person I saw and asked,” and she accepted this as reasonable. Also, how many other orphan children of prominent citizens could there be? Okay, over-thinking it. Anyway, innkeeper leaves and a lady pops out of nowhere, and we’re meant to be like, “Vampire!” But no, dearies, it’s Lucy, Katherine’s own personal witch. Natashia Williams is walking this fine line where Lucy seems both titillated by Katherine and afraid of her. Katherine’s like, “Blah blah, moonstone,” and Lucy fully goes, “Are you planning to break the curse?” Katherine looks vulnerable for a minute with her back turned to Lucy. Holy fuck! What the hell curse is Katherine under? Will it restore her humanity or is there something more to it? Damn, that’s some good shit right there. Anyway, Katherine’s like, “I need a witch,” and Lucy’s all, “Cool, a party.”

At the party proper, Lady Mayor and Tyler are nice to each other, miss Mason, miss Mayor, and blame the masquerade shenanbons on Mason. We get a load of everyone arriving, and someone waiting on the stairs outside that we can’t see because of the full mask he’s wearing makes sure to note Katherine’s entrance. Hmm. Inside, Katherine reminds Matt to go die and feels mild regret that one so cute should be sacrificed. Outside, Katherine wants Stefan to dance with her, and, when he refuses, she offers to kill someone instead. While they’re dancing, Aimee comes up and asks if they’ve seen Matt. How utterly bizarre. Oh, right, she’s digs Matt’s chilli, and he’s single again. Unfortunately for Aimee, Katherine and Stefan have just been arguing about who gets to ring the bell to open the moonstone exchange, so Katherine presses her case by first paralyzing and then killing Aimee. She dumps the body in Stefan’s arms then demands the stone on her terms.

Upstairs in the Lockwood Mansion, Bonnie and Jeremy are setting up some witchy business. Jer seems positively turned on by Bonnie’s witchy prowess. I’m intrigued. He asks her if she can do absolutely everything in the grimoire. Bonnie says that she probably could with practice, but she stays away from the dark stuff. On their way out of the house, Bonnie gets a strong vibe off Lucy, but Masked Lucy says that they don’t know other.

After he finishes disposing of the body, Gen. Stefan is panicking to Lt. Gen. Damon. He’s freaking out about Aimee’s death, insisting that it’s reason to call things off. Damon, however, views Aimee’s murder as all the more reason to continue, using it as evidence that Katherine is getting sloppy and paranoid. Also, fewer humans will die with Katherine out of the way, but that’s a distant second to Damon. It might even be a third. Damon does that thing he always does, grabbing Stefan by the shoulders, and adamantly claims, “It ends tonight.” His intensity and constant talking right in Stefan’s face is a little bit gay. Yay! After that pep talk, Stefan will persevere.

At a table near the dance floor, Jer asks Bonnie about her witchy abilities, specifically if she’s ever spelled herself into an easy A. Bonnie says that she doesn’t do spells like that. Jer says it’s the first thing he would do or maybe something with sex. Aw, teen boys! He asks Bonnie to dance, to which she quickly says no, but backtracks it to a “no, thank you,” when she realizes that he is trying to flirt in order to encourage his burgeoning interest. Hopefully getting together won’t result in one of them dead. Bonnie gets a text from Damon that she’s on, and they spring into action. Out on the dance floor, Jer gets his text and asks to speak to “Elena” privately, then immediately tells Katherine that Stefan and Damon are waiting for her with the moonstone down by the lake.

Inside, Caroline’s wandering around in a fab red dress, smiling wanly at Matt, who smiles wanly in return but continues on his quest to get Tyler drunk and enraged. Lucy corners Katherine and gives her lip for not telling her that another witch was around, particularly a Bennett witch, and I harbour delusions that the Bennett witches are like the Winchester Brothers: their reputations precede them. Katherine gets spooky immediately, “Is that going to be a problem?”, and Lucy backs off. Katherine then corners Caroline and demands to know what’s really up with the lake location. Caroline tries to put Katherine off, but eventually all the slamming into walls and choking gets to her, and Caroline confesses that it’s a plot to kill Katherine. Katherine is so getting played. Katherine gets Caroline to lead her upstairs to the room where Bonnie is guarding the moonstone, and, once Katherine crosses the threshold, Caroline backs off and congratulates herself on playing Katherine. Sure enough, Kat’s stuck in a mystical holding cell of Bonnie’s making. Kat’s smart enough to call out for Stefan, who appears from behind some furniture brandishing a stake. What she’s not smart enough for is Damon, who appears from the bathroom with Alaric’s compressed air stake launcher and promptly plants a stake in his maker’s back.

Turns out Katherine really does have contingency plants upon contingency plans, though. Elena grokes to Alaric’s shifty behaviour at dinner, and he gives up that he’s on Elena-watch while Stefan’s at the masquerade ball. Elena starts to say that Stefan only went to things like that for her, and, I have to say, that’s some nice writing right there. I don’t recall a specific insistence of Stefan saying that, but we never saw him particularly enjoy himself either, except when he was drunk. So it’s believable without it having been a big issue between them. Elena realizes that there must be a game afoot, so she swipes the car keys and takes off the first chance she gets. At the party, she grabs Jeremy and demands to know what’s going on, but he doesn’t get too far into explaining the kill Katherine crusade before the very stake that Damon just planted in Katherine’s back causes a dorsal eruption in the same place on Elena. Holy man! Not at all the doppelganger hijinks I was expecting. A psychic connection?

While my viewing companion tries to reason out how this psychic connection could work, Stefan and Damon are trying and failing to kill Katherine. I suspect it would take a while, given that she is stronger than they are. Every mark they leave on her starts showing up on Elena. Bonnie’s found Elena and Jeremy and quickly figures out that Elena’s under a spell. So much for the doppelganger connection. She sends Jeremy to stop them while doing a spell of her own to lessen Elena’s pain. Jer arrives just as Katherine’s about to get staked the same way Lorena did with Stefan as Bill (natch) and Damon as Sookie. He spills the entire situation, and Katherine looks smug. They’re standing around all, “What to do, what to do?” when Katherine carves a deep grove into her palm. Stefan flinches. She’s about to fully plunge a stake into her stomach when Damon cries out, “No!” Having fully regained the power position, Katherine settles down.

Jeremy runs back to Bonnie and Elena to presumably have her take down the barrier and let Katherine walk, but Bonnie’s got a better idea. She’s going to find the witch that did this to her best friend and stop her. In the meantime, Jer can keep watch on Elena. He offers her the use of his ring to protect her from this spell, and Elena refuses, saying that she needs Jeremy to stay safe. I appreciate that Elena’s such a brave little toaster, but this is ridiculous. Just before the episode started, I said to my viewing companion that Bonnie should spell Elena’s necklace to be her Gilbert ring, and then Elena should kill Katherine. Seriously. We know that 1) the rings contain vervain, as does Elena’s necklace, 2) Emily made them, 3) Bonnie has Emily’s grimoire, and 4) Bonnie can cast the SPF spell from Emily’s grimoire. What more do we need? Point is, I think Jer could spare the ring for five minutes.

Inside, Bonnie grabs Lucy and wants to know, witch-to-witch, what’s going on here. Lucy tries to blow past her, but Bonnie says that Lucy’s not leaving until she releases Elena from her spell. She grabs onto Lucy’s forearms, and, when Lucy does the same, the lights start to flicker and a wind kicks up outside. “Do you feel that? That means you can trust me,” Lucy tells Bonnie. Oh, she is getting spelled but good. Lucy tells Bonnie that she can feel that Bonnie has the moonstone on her.

Upstairs, Katherine’s trying her usual psychological warfare on the Brother Salvatore: she loves Stefan not Damon; Damon’s obsession with Katherine was really annoying (Damon: Tell me about it); Damon loves Elena, how does that make Stefan feel? She clearly does not understand that she is dealing with General Stefan and Lieutenant General Damon now. Damon’s like, “Why don’t you go suck it?” while Stefan once again lets his curiosity get the bestof him. He figures out that Katherine bargained the moonstone to George Lockwood in exchange for her life way back when, which isn’t much in Katherine’s estimation, but hits a nerve when he realizes that to want to fake her own death, Katherine must have been running from someone. Sounds like that someone finally caught up with her when the tomb was reopened, and she wasn’t in it. Katherine hits a nerve right back when she brings up Chicago in 1987, and I pre-emptively pour one out for my homie Lexi. She says that she was watching him front row centre at Bon Jovi with “that wench” Lexi (watch yourself, lady), “You didn’t think I checked up on you?” Once in 146 years? Thanks for your dedication, KitKat. Also, this fits with the time and place where Anna told Damon she saw Katherine so that is some nice continuity, show. There’s only so much of this that the Lt. Gen. can take, though, so the next you know he’s got Katherine pinned against the wall with a stake poised and at the ready, and the Gen.’s holding him back. “The minute the spell is broken, you’re dead,” Damon threatens.

Too bad, then, when Lucy turns up with the moonstone. She tells them that the spell is lifted and asks about fives time if handing over the moonstone makes her square with Katherine. Katherine’s like, “If you say so,” and I yell, “That’s not an answer! Get it in blood!”, but Lucy hands over the moonstone anyway. Katherine crumples to the floor and starts twitching. Oh! Bonnie didn’t get spelled; I did. By the show. This shit could be not more amazing. Lucy’s work here is done, while Stefan and Damon stand around and contemplate what comes next. They should ask the Sheriff to once again explain the principle of staking a vampire and burning the body.

Outside, Bonnie catches Lucy leaving and tells her the vibe she got earlier wasn’t just witch-to-witch, it was family. Lucy admits that she’s distantly related to Bonnie through Grams. I pour one out for my homie Sheila. Lucy also admits that she was helping Katherine because Katherine saved her life and Lucy owed her. A tearful Bonnie begs her to stay and help her figure out this witchy business, and, more to the point, how not to be in the middle any longer because she wants free of these vampires. Lucy’s sympathetic but only to a point: unlike Lucy, Bonnie uses her powers for good. “The middle is exactly where you need to be,” she sagely replies. Bonnie’s still disappointed, and Lucy says that she’s sure they’ll meet again. I hope so. More Lucy, please! Jeremy shows up and offers Bonnie a ride home. They are so hot for each other now! I still hold out hope for Bonnie and Damon, but this works, too.

Standing on the shadowy side of a ridiculously scenic lake (the other side is lit up with a gazebo and whatnot. The remainder of the masquerade), Elena and Stefan make sure the other is alright. Elena asks if Katherine is “really gone,” and Stefan agrees. He goes in for a kiss, sure that they are back together now, and Elena pulls back. Elena must have superhuman self-control because resisting Stefan two eps in a row is beyond me. Elena says that she does want to get back together, but she wants to make sure that her friends and family are safe first. She wants to feel safe. Stefan can only nod his assent. Even though he knows she’s right, it hurts. She leaves him alone in the shadows.

Katherine wakes up with the moonstone in the tomb. You know the one. The one where she was supposed to rot and wait for Damon to rescue her. Aw, yeah. Katherine picks up the moonstone and shakily makes it to opening only to find herself bounced by the mystical lock. Outside, Damon tells her that death would have been too easy. Yes, but it also would have been permanent. Katherine flails a bit for a gambit and finally goes with, “Elena is in danger!” She stops herself just short of explaining why. “Then I’ll protect her,” Damon duhs as he heaves the stone door into place, but Katherine keeps going, yelling, “The doppelganger must be protected!” and holy hell, what does that mean? Also, told you Elena was the doppelganger! Damon thinks it’s all just lies and finally closes the door on Katherine and – he thinks – this chapter of his life. Still, his face betrays a mixture of disbelief and a nagging doubt that Katherine could be telling the truth. Inside, Katherine’s still roaring and pounding her fist against the door, and her very real fear is great work from Nina Dobrev. This little scene also adds a nice layer of ambiguity to Stefan agreeing that Katherine is “gone.” Was he just not-technically lying or does he not know what Damon’s done? I find it hard to believe that he wouldn’t know. Oh, Stefan. This is going to come back to bite your fine ass.

Elena’s working her way through the throng of cars outside the Lockwood Mansion on the phone with Jeremy, assuring him that she can get herself home, and he can leave with Bonnie. She rings off only to find herself snatched by the overly interested fully masked man from earlier! Bet she wishes she took that ring now.

Teen Wolf, Too

Matt tries his darndest to get Tyler to kill him, even pouring alcohol on a family photo (Sarah: His dad’s dead). Matt does not, however, say that he’s pouring one out for his homie the Mayor like I hoped he would. Tyler tries his darndest to not get into a fight with Matt, using kindness and reason and logic, which doesn’t go too well when Matt jumps Tyler and starts beating his face in. Tyler starts fighting back, and Caroline, who overhears all this with her vamp hearing, runs in and breaks things up. When Matt just won’t quit, Caroline knocks him out with an elbow. That seems like a gratuitous use of vamp strength, Care. No sooner has she done it than she’s like, “OMG, Matt!,” providing the equally compelled Sarah with the opportunity to stab Tyler in the chest. What the what? I thought something was weird about Sarah last time, but I never guessed it was this! Tyler instinctively shoves Sarah away, and she bashes her head on the desk on her way down. Tyler panics, and, when Caroline confirms the kill, Tyler’s eyes turn lupine. Later, Lady Mayor is on the scene reassuring a distraught Tyler that it was just a tragic accident and going out to meet the Sheriff. Caroline’s moved Matt to her car and tells Tyler that they are going to leave him out of this. Tyler wonders why Caroline’s involving herself, and Caroline says that she understands. Tyler disagrees, so Caroline asks him if is wound has healed already. Tyler pulls down his collar and is freaked to see that it has, while Caroline fixes him with a look that says, “I, too, know what it’s like to be turned into a supernatural beastie by Katherine Pierce.”

In other news:

  • I was worried that Stefan and Elena would stay broken up all season while they tried to kill Katherine, they would finally kill her, and Stefan would show up to get back together with her only to find Damon on the porch kissing Elena for real in the season two finale, but now I worry that that’s going to happen even sooner. Like November sweeps sooner. And that makes me sad.
  • I love that Caroline’s ready to adopt Tyler into their extended supernatural family, but I doubt things will go smoothly when he realizes that Damon ripped Mason’s heart out, and Stefan signed off on it.
  • When posing as Elena, Katherine even wears her signature Bumpit.
  • They told Jenna/compelled her to believe that she walked into a knife. Are you for real? Just tell her already!
  • Also, how has she not noticed that Alaric’s family heirloom ring and Jeremy’s family heirloom ring are identical?
  • UPDATE: I kept a dick count last night! You may think that I meant that I saw wangs, but I was keeping track of the number of times the characters said "dick" because the CW doesn't let you say "asshole." "What's my problem? My problem is that 63% of me thinks you're a dick!"  Oh, Scott Speedman. Anyway, last night's dick count was 4.

Next time: ROAD TRIP! Damon and Stefan are off to find and save Elena, even if it's a suicide mission. Caroline and Tyler continue to bond. Who cares, though, because ROAD TRIP!

Comments (1)Add Comment
0
Emily
November 01, 2010
Votes: +0
Man, parties in this town

They have so many, and this one had a 2 dead teenage girls count. I was sad we missed the no doubt darkly hilarious possible scene where Stephen has to pretend to be dancing with Aimee's dead body, all the way out to his car.

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Last Updated on Friday, 29 October 2010 06:45
 

April Yorke is a (Cult)ure Magazine contributor since Wednesday, 07 January 2009.

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