The votes have been cast, the dances, done. We have made it to the end of the road, and it is time for the best episode of a very good show- the finale results! This is when the show brings out the very best routines of the season, all at once. Amazing! Let's get to the fun. 

We start with a group number that looks very Tayehesque. It is hard to pick out who everyone is because of big wigs and costumes, but I think it is the entire top 20. For the girls I only really notice Ryan and Jordan. The guys are a bit easier to spot, with Jess, Ricky and Mitchell standing out. Our final four come out the end looking intense. Cat is wearing a really adorable tight mini dress (but with three quarter sleeves). The dress is red sequin-y, and really cute. Cat tells Sonya "by god, you are weird"...fair (and she means it in a flattering way). 

The panel of judges is ridiculous. Lil C (the human theeeesaurus, according to Cat), Robin Antin (boo, go away), Tyce Diorio (not great work this season), Sonya Tayeh (easily my favourite choreographer of the season), Jesse Tyler Ferguson! (he is really cute with Cat, I hope they become friends), Mary, and Nigel. I hope they reinforced that judges' stage…so much crazy weight might not hold up for the entire two hours. Nigel does something classy by apologizing for his comment on the performance show that neither of the guys could win tonight. 

There is a really long clip package that takes us through the auditions up to the present, and it doesn't just focus on our final four. The second time I watched it, I almost teared up a bit. So many great dances!

The first revisit dance is Mary's choice and it is the wall dance that Sasha and Kent did. This is the one where Sasha does that crazy split thing against the wall (but inverted), and where Kent throws her to the ground. This is the one that broke Kelly Bundy's heart. It is as good this time as it was the first, in my estimation. For all of Tyce's misses this season, this dance is really, really good. Props to him. 

There is a funny clip package of how Mary and Nigel are "Reunited (and it feels so good)", and it is pretty funny. The much storied kiss between our two judges leads us into the cute Tabitha and Napolean routine between Melanie and Marko (the one with the cute black and white stripey bubble dress with red accents—you know the one). This routine is really nothing special, but Melanie and Marko are just the best to watch together, so it is great. 

Robin Antin (who is, literally, the worst) chooses the next routine. It's Mandy Moore's jazzy routine to "Another One Bites The Dust". You may remember it as the one where Tadd lost his hat. He doesn't lose it tonight. The style of this routine is fun, and Lauren is really fun to watch, but I don't know that it does all that much for Tadd. The judges give them a standing O, and I laugh out loud because Sonya is wearing a bright lime green ball gown (the top has a jacket thing, so when she was seated, we didn't know about the volumes of lime green tulle that were living under the table). She is adorably odd.  

After the break, there is a hilarious clip package of all of the choreographers talking nonsense about the stories and plots behind their dances. It really sounds like gibberish most of the time, but when edited together like this, it is just absolutely hilarious. From Jean Marc Genereux talking about the "rat bag" (rat pack), to Tabitha talking about woodpeckers, to Travis Wall's awesome vulture dance—it is just a great look into the crazed minds of these talented artists. 

Lil C gets to pick his favourite next, and he chooses Tabitha and Napolean's woodpecker dance with Robert and Miranda. This is one of the few dances that features anyone outside of the top 4 tonight. It is entertaining enough, but I don't think it is as "bucc" (which I have been spelling incorrectly, does this mean it comes from the word "buccaneer" or something?), as Lil C claims. 

Cat gets to choose a routine as well this year! She loved Tyce's group number, the top 8 circus routine. This routine was pretty cool, and it is helped enormously by the costume and make-up folk, and the sepia camera effect that it starts with (as well as the lighting throughout, actually). This routine taught me that I like Tyce's work better when I don't know it is him. They actually just play a tape of this performance, but I can't say I blame them, as poor Melanie and Sasha are going to pass out from exhaustion any minute now. 

The next guest is Matt Flint, the UK champion of SYTYCD, who won a spot on the final by winning that show. He is a tapper, and is joined by Jess and Nick. This routine is so freaking fun, I can't believe it. It makes me sad that Nick was unceremoniously booted so early. There is so much style in how each of them dance, and all of that is on top of the crazy technical stuff they are pulling off seamlessly. Nigel compares them to some famous tapping brothers (The Nicholas Brothers), and it was really awesome. 

Mary gets to choose the next routine, and as soon as she said "a great leap of faith", I got rather excited. Remember how Melanie can fly? We get to see it again! It is just as amazing this time around. The song, "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is such an odd one, because it is so clearly a song of its time (1983), but also has a timeless quality you don't often find in 80s music. 

Jesse Tyler Ferguson gets to choose the next routine, and he goes for Marko's tear-fest number with Allison. Sonya Tayeh choreographed this sad, but powerful apology to Marko's mom. Sonya is sitting next to JTF (I went there) while he introduces her piece and she is adorably shy about it. This routine is done to an eerie Jeff Buckley cover of a Smith's song ("I Know it's Over"), and it really adds a ton to the piece. 

Tyce also picks a Sonya routine, because she is ridiculously talented. It is the top 10 girls routine, the Geishas. This routine is fairly brightly coloured for a Tayeh routine, but it certainly fills the quirk quota she brings to her work. I just love the nutty movements Sonya put into this one. The Peanut Gallery is surprised at how often she focuses on Ryan in the group numbers, and I feel the same way. She always stands out in those, but on her own, she is often intolerable. What is up with that?

We get to our first results well into the show, and it is completely, utterly, no surprise that Tadd is the fourth-placed contestant. Tadd knew it, Cat knew it, we all knew it. He was fun enough, but he didn't stand a chance against these ladies. 

Lil C calls the next routine a breakout for Chris (the guy who looks like a hybrid of Marc Anthony and John Leguizamo) and Ashley. This is the jail routine by Spencer Liff. It still bugs me how they shoot this routine. Sweeping the camera around the dumb little jail prop in circles totally takes me out of it. It just makes me notice how small the prop is, and how hokey it is. Anyways, the routine is cool, for sure. 

Next we have a long product placement for the Glee 3D movie. I won't be recapping it, but I did get to see the Glee concert in Las Vegas this year and it was really damn fun. Nigel chooses next, and he takes the amazing Christopher Scott routine with Twitch and Sasha (the soggy cornflakes routine, thanks for the reminder, Nigel). This one really was one of the best of the season. It is so fun to see it again. Perhaps the passion of the routine is just a little less powerful in this revisit, but it is still great. The styling of the routine (pretty much normal clothes) just adds to it, and Sasha and Twitch are phenomenal. 

Sonya picks the top 10 guys routine by Christopher Scott. This is the routine with all the doors, and it is really cool. There is this blond guy in the routine that I could not for the life of me identify, but the Peanut Gallery figured out that it is Alexander with poorly dyed hair. Crazy! He looks really different (less stuffy, more like a 90s frat boy). The Peanut Gallery also rightly points out that this isn't really a hip hop routine at all. There are a lot of jazz elements and even ballet elements. 

Jesse Tyler Ferguson steals the show yet again with a well-crafted monologue leading up to his choice. He chooses Meerkat and Lenardums (hilarious) Argentinian Tango, or for his Latin friend, Tango D'argentine (the one with Caitlynn and Pasha). The first time I watched this, I thought it was live, but on the second viewing I notice that the judges' table is completely empty, meaning they are playing a tape of it that they have digitally removed the judges from. Hilarious! Who's job is it to scrub out Nigel and Mary from the background, I wonder? It is also a bit funny that this means Caitlynn is barely in the finale, and she was the 3rd placed girl. Jordan doesn't get a solo number either, which is a shame because I would have liked to see the vulture dance again. 

Mary chooses the next dance, and goes for the statue dance of Melanie and Marko (Travis Wall choreographed it). They don't have the cool stone make-up on tonight, but the routine is still really good. Their chemistry is so strong, and Melanie just makes Marko a much more interesting dancer. 

Cat has more results to give, and Sasha comes out wearing her costume for her Sonya Tayeh dance with Melanie. It is kind of a giveaway that those two are still in it, and Marko is the third placed dancer. I mean, we did all know this, but the show isn't even trying to hide it. I am really done with seeing Marko's crying mom (in the clip package). Marko's dad is really adorable. 

Nigel addresses the New York Times, and an article that featured professional dancers who basically said the show is amateur, and the dancers won't amount to much. Good for him for calling them out on being elitist. The final dance of the night is Sasha and Melanie's awesome Sonya Tayeh routine. This is the Gaga shoe-throwing routine, of course. Not to go all Holmes-Cruise on you, but I just love it. The Tayeh moves are so cool, and these ladies rock it.

Cat brings them back out for the final results. We get a nice clip package of the two of them throughout the competition. Before Cat announces the results, I really feel like either could win, but I am sure hoping Melanie does. Cat tells us that the winner got 47% of the vote (and the runner up got 32%), and I am pretty sure it is Melanie...and it is! MELANIE! Both girls devolve into tears, and Melanie can barely get her "thank you" out. She is really sobbing, and it is nice to see how happy she is. The mob of dancers picks her up, and Sasha joins them (very nice to see her back after she disappeared crying behind a large bouquet of flowers).

More Gonchos

• Good lord these people must be tired. I am tired watching them.
• Marko really spent this entire episode in tears. He just has so many emotions. 
• Mr. Lesqueezamo (Chris) is really scary looking. Tom Haverford from Parks and Rec would tell him to "make his face better".
• It really seeems that the rest of the top 10 dancers got the shaft. The memorable ones (Ryan and Ricky, Jordan, Jess (although he did get to do the fun tap routine), Caitlynn) didn't even get to dance tonight except in the group numbers. Vulture dance, the dance with the piece of fabric between Ryan and Ricky, even Jess' hip hop with that dumb painting…I would gladly have had any of these over either the Jail routine and the woodpecker dance.
• What a season! I am really glad that I picked this time to get back into the show. Next year, I may even recap the auditions.
• Big thanks to The Peanut Gallery for always telling me about the music on the show. I don't ever pay attention to it, and she is great at remembering.
• And thank you all for reading! I think I will be recapping Dancing with the Stars  when it comes on in the fall (rumors of Queen Latifah, y'all!).