Last night’s True Blood, “Me and the Devil,” was another week of not much going on, but a lot of pieces were moved into place for things to go batshit in the weeks to come. For now we’re treated to some heavy philosophy, bouncing from religious freedom to heaven and hell to the nature of evil. Spectral Godric makes a very bad appearance, Adele makes a very good one from the Great Beyond, Lettie Mae resurfaces, King Bill’s life gets a little worse, Jason’s life gets a little better, and Tommy becomes a skinwalker. Best part? Not a single second in Horrible Hot Shot.

What about War and Self-Defence?

Joe-Lee’s still got that chain around Tommy’s neck at the top of the hour, and Melinda is running around alternating yelling at Joe-Lee not to kill Tommy and Tommy to be nicer to his dad. Melinda has gone from being tragic victim of violence to full-on crazy lady for me. Kill ‘em both, Tommy. And he does! Hurray! He plays dead a little, then brains Joe-Lee with a pipe. He keeps having to throw his crazy mama off his shoulder, and eventually Melinda doesn’t get up from one of those falls. “Mama?” he gaps into the credits.

And every shadow filled up with doubt.

Tommy, covered in blood, wakes Sam up. Outside in his manties, Sam confirms that Tommy sure does have a van full of dead parents. Sam, however, isn’t going to leave Tommy twisting in the wind. They’re speeding down the road when Andy wakes up from a nap in his police cruise and gives chase. Sam’s so not in the mood to deal with this shit, so he’s pretty much like, “Yes, Andy, you have a big swinging dick,” the moment the Sheriff appears in the window. Too bad there’s a smear of blood on the door frame, which is probable cause if you ask me. Tommy’s hiding in the back with a shovel, all, “I won’t let them take you, Sam!” Fortunately Tommy uses his head for more than a hat rack and shifts into a big ol’ gator, scaring the shit out of Andy when he opens the back. Even Sam’s like, “Good one, bro,” though I do think this is sort of a mean trick to play on Andy “I saw a pig” Bellefleur. They take off, leaving Andy with his V vial. Just wait ‘til you find out that Jason’s back, Andy! He’s going to make everything better. Meanwhile, Tommy’s like, “I didn’t kill anybody else, Sam! Give me a biscuit and a scratch behind the ears!” and Sam honestly replies, “And Jesus wept.” Go ahead and parse Sam’s use of the Bible’s shortest verse for me because I have no idea what he’s getting at.

Night time, down on the swamp. Just to be clear, this little road trip took them all day. Sam and Tommy toss their parents’ tarp-wrapped bodies into the swamp while discussing whether Tommy’s going to hell, whether war/self-defence is a good defence for what he did, and that time Sam also killed two people. Now that Tommy’s a skin walker, I worry that this moment of brotherly bonding is going to come back to bite Sam in the ass. As Tommy frets that the bodies aren’t sinking, Sam pulls out a bag of what looks like breadcrumbs and tosses them in the water, attracting gators. They “love marshmallows. You should know that,” Sam explains. That shit is dark, Sam. Wait, do they absorb things like that from shifting?

There is a Light Inside of You

Eric’s creepily opening Sookie’s door and spying on her while she sleeps. Everything’s white washed. She’s wearing a sexy nightie and barely has a white top sheet over her. Spectral Godric appears behind Eric, first as a hand around his shoulder, then coming around Eric into Sookie’s bedroom fangs out. He strokes Eric’s face like a lover while he passes by. There’s a special place in my heart for Allan Hyde’s portrayal of Godric, and this scene is no exception. Never mind the actions and dialogue; there’s something off here about every single detail: the accent, the facial tics, the gait. This spectre is no Godric. So Not-Godric wakes into Sookie’s bedroom and runs his fingers up her exposed leg. He leans over and breathes deeply, taking in her sunny scent.  This is too much for Puppy Eric, who vamp-zips to the other side of the bed and shoves Godric off. “Do not touch her,” he warns. Not-Godric, however, thinks they should drink her together and go for a walk in the sunshine. And he thinks all of this in, I think, his native language, not Eric’s. I wouldn’t swear to it, but I really didn’t think it was Swedish. Eric doesn’t even question how he knows the language, just keeps replying in English that they aren’t going to do that. Most of it is about protecting Sookie, but there’s a note of regret because he knows that the fairy blood won’t last, and he doesn’t want to go through that loss again. Not-Godric, being as how he is, you know, Not Godric, doesn’t take too kindly to this. He vamp-zips around and grabs Eric by the throat, forcing Eric to his knees. Eric’s evil and that’s all he’s ever going to be, despite Puppy Eric’s protests that Sookie can redeem him. I remember a time when Godric thought that way, too. Don’t cry. Not-Godric turns Eric around and demands that he drain Sookie like he must, like he was always meant to. Eric fights to shake free at first but succumbs and even starts to look relieved. Joy breaks over him as he sinks his fangs into Sookie’s neck while she screams.

Down in his cubby, Eric snaps awake, fangs out. We’ve already established that vampires don’t dream, so PISS OFF, SHOW. Ugh. So, anyway, Eric and his shorts that are barely hanging on there, push open Sookie’s bedroom door. Everything’s all pink, Sookie’s under a quilt, and she’s wearing a giant pink tee with a cherub on the front. Heh. Sookie awakes with a start and demands to know what the hell Eric is doing. Eric retracts his fangs, shakes his head, and answers, “I had a bad dream.”

Cut to Eric curled up on his side, facing away from Sookie on her bed. His eyes are surrounded by red. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” Eric tries to laugh at himself, but he can’t. Sookie explains that Godric was Eric’s Maker, and Eric misses him dearly. So true. Rolling over and laying his head in her lap, Eric worries that Not-Godric was right. “Am I evil?” Sookie says no, which, again, is mighty generous of her. Sookie goes on to tell Eric that Godric was the “most human” vampire she’s ever met, and he would be proud to see Eric the way he is now. Sookie laughs at the situation of herself cuddly with Eric Northman but declines to share the specifics of why. She does offer that Eric is kind and gentle now. Eric confesses that he likes lying there with Sookie. Could he stay until sunrise? Sookie finally straightens up and gets her head in the game: he can but only if he keeps his hands and his fangs to himself. Eric immediately rolls away, back to staring out the other side of the bed. But when Sookie lies back down, too, Eric doesn’t even think about reaching behind him and pulling her arm around him, pressing her hand to his chest. “I could never hurt someone so beautiful,” he insists, mostly to himself.

The next day at work, Sookie grills Holly for info about her Wiccan group but really only gets as much as “Moon Goddess Emporium” and “not going back there any time soon” from reading Holly’s mind. So what does Sookie do? Put on her prettiest yellow sundress (with bow-ties in the back!) and head on down there for a reading! Marnie’s in no mood but eventually acquiesces to Sookie’s, er, “charms.” I mean, honestly, Marnie looks like she’d just as soon throw Sookie out as listen to her babble, but she knows what it is to need spiritual guidance. So Marnie takes hold of Sookie’s necklace and tells Sook to relax. Sookie tries to listen in and – this part is spooky – hears nothing. All sorts of different people, kids playing in the street, but nothing from Marnie herself. Marnie just . . . emptied herself out. Marnie gets a hold of a spirit, an older lady in a yellow apron, and Sookie surprises herself when she realizes its Gran. She misses Gran so much and is glad to hear she’s at peace. After the usual about taking care of Jason (heh), Gran gets down to business. Is Sookie falling in love? Sookie denies this, but soon she’s amending “no” to “I don’t think so,” and she can’t keep the smile off her face. “Don’t” is Gran’s advice. Puppy Eric is only temporary, and it’s all downhill from there. Yes, most likely. Sookie’s not terrible excited to hear this, but she does listen right in for Gran’s voice inside Marnie’s head. Gran knows as much and speaks to Sookie directly: this lady is dangerous, and Sookie better run. While Marnie protests that she means no one no harm (for real, Marnie? After everything you’ve done?), Sookie snatches back her necklace, throws down a bill (“keep the change”), and scoots. “When my gran tells me to run, I run.” Atta girl, Sook.

Northman-Stackhouse Shack. Tara’s pouring her heart out over ice cream and beer (mmmm). Her special lady found some mail addressed to Tara Thornton, and who the fuck is that? Sookie takes the lesbian thing in stride and instead wants to know why Tara lied in the first place. Tara has to point out that her entire life in Bon Temps has sucked balls. Point to Tara. Still, Sookie tells her to be honest with the one she loves. Tara doesn’t know what to do. Sookie’s advice is to fight for Naomi. Tara looks Sookie right in the eye and asks her if she would forgive Bill if Bill were there fighting for her right now. Sookie cannot explain that she’s in the middle of falling for another vamp who’s existence is debatable, so she just pulls a face. Sun’s going down, though, so Sookie would like Tara to go fight for Naomi right now. Tara, however, wants to spend the night at Sookie’s place and fight in the morning. Rather than creating some distraction or sending Tara out for ice cream or doing anything, anything at all to save their collective asses, Sookie does nothing to prevent Eric from coming out of his cubby and out into the living room. Tara screams when she sees him. She runs over and grabs a fireplace poker. Eric’s fangs appear in response to the threat, so he zips over and pulls the poker out of her hands. Tara would like to know just what Eric is doing there, and Eric’s yells, “I LIVE here!” Tara would like to know wtf with Sookie and the “be honest with the ones you love” and the lying. Vamp up, Sook. Sookie wails about 18 variations on “let me explain” without explaining shit, so Tara jumps in with an explanation of her own: Eric fucking Northman sold Sookie out to Russell Edgington (check!), put Lafayette on a donkey wheel in his dungeon, and tricked Sookie into drinking his blood. “He wants to kill me!” she bellows. Honestly, Tara, no he doesn’t. Marnie, absolutely. Some of the other witches, probably. But you, Lafayette, and Jesus get a pass. If Eric would keep Lafayette alive to earn himself some points with Sookie, he’d sure as hell do it with you. ANYway, Sookie might have lost what’s left of her mind, but Tara hasn’t, so she’s out. Puppy Eric doesn’t even know what half those words means, but he’s still ashamed and retracts his fangs. He tries to shoot Sookie a side eye, begging for this not to be true, but Sookie doesn’t take her eyes off Tara. Eric’s appalled with himself.

Cut to Eric on the couch, asking Sookie if it’s true. Sookie prepares herself for the lie that’s about to come out, then opts for honesty: “Yes.” Sookie defends Eric, explaining that even when he was at his worst, she always believed he was capable of decency, and Puppy Eric is proof of that. Eric’s sad but solid when he replies, “Any decency in me is irrelevant. Obviously I am capable of cruelty.” Eric goes on, with growing sadness and growing conviction, that there is a light inside of Sookie, and he couldn’t bear it if he snuffed it out. With that, Eric, sleeveless hoodie, shorts, side part (side part!), and bare feet, walk out the door.

He’s made it about a 50 paces down the lane way when Sookie calls out to him from the porch. Eric stop dead short, his eyes open wide. Of all the things he was expecting, it was never this. He swivels his head around. “Please don’t go,” Sookie begs, quietly. Eric turns around and marches back to her open arms. They hold each other, Eric stroking her back and squeezing her hair and generally doing all the things he’d thought he’d never get to do. His eyes are closed. Sookie’s are open when she makes the call, defying Gran’s warning. She pulls back just far enough to kiss him on the cheek, to give him permission, and Eric pulls back, too. They kiss. It’s a bit like their first (and only) real kiss, but it’s different, too. It’s a beginning.

You Will Get the Uncontrollable Urge to Scream

Bill’s seeing Portia on business short notice, but, by “business,” she meant “business time.” Bill pushes her off and fully vamp-zips across the office to get away from her. Portia essentially chases Bill around his desk (which is just so hilarious of Bill I don’t know where to start) while ticking off her talking points: incest has been decriminalized in 42 states because who’s to argue with consenting adults (Bill: “Do not think you have my consent”), they’re not going to produce any “genetically morbid” offspring, there are married cousins in Bon Temps with more DNA in common than Bill and Portia. Once upon a time in Shreveport in 1941 . . . Bill’s had enough. I haven’t! I love Portia Bellefleur. He looks down and back up, instantly glamouring her only instead of the usually rattlesnake on the soundtrack there’s a low rumble of distant thunder. “Portia, you have no romantic interest in me.” “I don’t?” Portia wonders. “No. In fact, from now on, when you look at me, you will get the uncontrollable urge to scream and run away.” He looks down, snapping her out of it. When he looks back up, Portia opens her mouth, lets loose a scream, and runs. Bill watches her go from his office door, then gets back to work. I mean, honestly, do you think he’s going to leave his bloodline in the hands of Andy and Terry? Hee, I so want to see Andy find out that Bill’s his great-great-great-great grandfather.

The next night, Bill’s looking fab in a grey suit with a blue shirt and red tie. Pam comes in clad in full mourning gear, complete wide brimmed hat and veil, and Bills cracks, “Oh, good, the world needs more bee keepers.” We only see Pam in all of this, but you just know there’s a shit eating grin on Bill’s face. Pam confesses that she didn’t follow orders and went to see the witches by herself, but even Bill has to cut her some slack when he sees her rotting face. It’s getting progressively worse. She would like permission to torture and kill the “mousy witch” that did this to her (“You mess with my face, and you die”). King Bill toes the party line, explaining that the order not to shed blood came down from the Authority. If Pam goes after the witches, she’ll have to meet the true death, “and Ah do not wish that for yew.” AW! Even though he tried to kill her (for real, not like Eric) last year, he so means that. Bill’s pretty sure they can do something. In the meantime, perhaps a cosmetic solution? More lipstick? Pam’s tried that. She demonstrates how ineffective that plan is by pulling off a layer of her chin and dropping it to the floor. Ew. Bill nods and agrees, “The veil then.” Hee!

Over at the Moon Goddess Emporium, Kitty’s in the back waiting for Marnie. She’s worried about the vampires and what might happen next, but Marnie sits down and starts to tell her, just between us girls style, that they have a spirit watching over them. Kitty drops the accent: “You don’t.” Bill’s mercenaries appear from all sides to seize Marnie.

Back at the Compton Plantation, Katerina, back in her uniform, swoops by Marnie’s cell. Bill, you weren’t just biting and fucking your spy but someone on your security detail? That’s gross. Marnie’s chanting away when her head snaps back, and her eyes go white. She’s in a cell with the young witch who keeps possessing her. Young Witch is surrounded by other witches. They’re all chanting, but Young Witch meets Marnie’s eye. Three priests descend, sending the scared, chanting witches to crouch in the corner. The priests open the door and drag one of the witches aside. There’s some communion-type Latin while the oldest-looking priest holds up a cross. Finally he nods at another of the priests. Just when you think it’s time for rape, they go the other way: all three pop fangs and devour the witch.

Up in his office, Bill clicks on the intercom and questions Marnie about what she did to Eric and Pam (known, at the moment, as Bill’s “vampire associates”). As always, Marnie has no answers beyond her usual “practicing our religion! He attacked us!”

Okay, Marnie, that’s enough. You raised a bird from the dead. That’s not peaceably assembling. You did a tap dance all over the line between life and death, and you expected those who live there to stand back and respect your freedom of religion? You were making plans to raise a human when Eric interrupted. In this world, you can have your life or you can have your power, but you can’t have both for long.

Pam’s got her doubts, so Bill offers, “Ah will glamour her to be certain.” Pam, even Pam, immediately protests, “Don’t! She’ll kill you! You’d have to be insane!” Look at Pam and Bill, caring. A lot’s happened in a year. “Insanity comes with the job.”

Bill’s down in the jail (I mean, what else are you going to call it? It’s really a high tech, clean, and overall humane version of Fangtasia’s dungeon, but it’s still up and down the line wrong). He hands off his jacket to Katerina and walks into Marnie’s cell. I find myself yelling, “No, don’t mess with Hot Bill!” Huh, odd. Bill’s not there to hurt her, but Marnie doesn’t believe it. He glamours her but only gets the same answer as before: her group wants to practice their religion, and she doesn’t know how she pulled those tricks on either Eric or Pam. Instead of further questioning her about how it’s possible, then, Bill just looks up at the camera to and asks if Pam’s satisfied. Cut to Pam in Bill’s office: “Fuck.”

Bill’s assembled his four remaining sheriffs to fill them in on the witch sitch. One of them fully goes, “Oh, witches. Real scary,” causing Bill to wrap his hand tightly around the jackhole’s throat. Pam’s like, “Have you seen my face?” and the lone female sheriff goes, “Honey, about your ear?” With vamp-quickness, Pam rips off the ear that had been sliding down. There’s a lot of vamp-speed this episode, and I like it. Let vampires be vampires. Turns out that one of Bill’s Sheriffs is one of those priests from the cell in Marnie’s flashback. Luis explains that when they burned Antonia at the stake (that’s our Young Witch), she performed a necromancy spell that dragged every vampire within a 20 mile radius into the sunlight: “Priests, nuns, my Maker.” Oh, axe to grind, there you are! Seems vampires like to take shadowy behind the scenes roles in human power structures to keep an eye on things. In those days, it was the Church, Now, it’s Google and Fox News. Hee! Sheriff who looks a bit like Buddy Jr. wants to know how it could be that they were outed pre-Great Revelation, but no one knew. Luis either glamoured or killed every last witness. Luis wants to kill Marnie, as does Sheriff Buddy, but none more so than Pam. She bewails the state of her face and adds that Marnie erased Eric’s memory, and now he’s just a shell. Bill does a double take at this one. “Ah thought you didn’t know what happened to Eric?” Pam tries to run, but Bill pins her to the door. Fangs out, he demands the truth. Pam tries to play it off like a figure of speech, but Bill’s not having it. Finally she confesses that Eric’s at Sookie’s. Bill barely takes a minute to process this deepest betrayal yet, “Sookie’s?”, before vamp-zipping out the door so fast we see it neither open nor shut, just vibrate. Pam whispers, “I’m sorry, Eric.” I’m sorry for what Bill’s about to see.

Oh My Gravy

Hoyt and Jessica carry an unconscious Jason to bed, then Jess tucks him in. Hoyt is touched and turned on by Jessica’s display of compassion, but Jessica is avoiding Hoyt’s hugs and kisses out of guilt. Hoyt knows something’s up but can’t get the truth out of Jessica, so he opts to stay the night at Jason’s instead of going home. Over breakfast at Merlotte’s the next day (turns out Sookie did notice that Jason was missing), Hoyt looks appropriately appalled to hear what Jason’s gone through. Jason worries that he’s being punished for having too much sex, as all his problems stem from sex (jealous boyfriends, V addiction, murder raps). Hoyt tries to compare it with whatever’s up with Jess (not the same). Holly says something about the full moon tomorrow night, and Jason bolts, freaked.

Jason’s asleep in bed when a figure appears under the covers. Jason commences freaking, stops when it’s Jessica, then freaks anew over Hoyt’s girl being in his bed. Jessica pouts, and Jason realizes that this is a dream, so it’s okay if they get down and dirty. Agreed. Jessica’s in her matching bra and panties, telling Jason about the many ways in which she wants him, when Hoyt appears next to the bed, giving Jason shit for trying to steal his girl. Jason wants Hoyt to get out of his dream, and Jessica to stop comparing him to Hoyt. Neither of these things go very well when Jessica starts riding Jason while repeating Hoyt’s name, only to morph into Hoyt moaning his own name. Jason awakes with a start. “Oh my gravy.” Indeed.

In other news:

• “Hooker, you pissed off yet another vampire, and then you took a goddamn nap.”
• Even Jesus is weirded out by Marnie now, so he and Lafayette take off to find Jesus’s abuelo, who has power they can’t imagine and can maybe help Jesus access that power. Just wait ‘til he gets a load of Lafayette, I say.
• Lafayette has yet another hairstyle: braids with curls instead of beads at the bottom. Where does he find the time?
• A pack master shows up for Alcide, who is more interested in pursuing the lone wolf angle. Tellingly, the Shreveport pack master doesn’t ask after Debbie.
• Terry and Arlene get Reverend and Lettie Mae Daniels (I can’t believe she pulled it off!) to drive out Ghost Rene, but all bets are off when a matchbook ignites itself in their bedroom.

Next time: Bill finds Eric and Sookie together; Sookie begs for mercy while Bill gets Nan to sign off on the true death; Tara goes back to New Orleans; Jesus and Lafayette look for a sacrifice; Debbie joins the pack; Jason takes to the woods.