Oh, The Vampire Diaries, how we’ve missed you. Thanks for “The Sacrifice.” Everyone’s protecting everyone else all over that place: Bonnie, Jeremy, Stefan, and Damon all get in on a plan to save Elena, so you know our brave little toaster’s going to turn right around and try to save all of them. Which leaves Caroline and Tyler to save each other, which in turn leaves poor Matt out in the cold. And because he doesn’t want to feel left out, Alaric sacrifices his shirt. Atta boy.

Somehow the Opening Juxtapositions Have Already Lost Their Shine

The now-canon opening cross cut isn’t doing it for me this episode, so let’s skip it. Stefan and Damon head to the tomb to have a little chat with Katherine, who’s looking wan again, but at least someone brought her a sweater. They report their chat and the intel from Slater back to Elena: they can lift the curse (not sure if they mean the Petrova curse or all three) from the moonstone, essentially rendering it a useless object, which will save Elena. Katherine will turn over the stone in exchange for her freedom, a deal the brothers have no intention of honouring. Damon: “Yup, we’re awesome.”

Just a minute: the show wasn’t clear on this, so I’m going to have to do some guess work for now and hope it gets clearer soon. We do know that the stone is an essential component in the curse. We also know that you need Petrova blood, vampire blood, and werewolf blood to break any part of the curse. If the curse is no longer contained within the stone, it . . . can never be broken? No longer exists? I mean, where does it go? Also, if it’s this specific stone and not moonstone in general, why does no one suggest destroying the stone?

Okay, back to the Gilbert kitchen. Elena wants no part in this. She says that if they do anything to tamper with the curse, they will be risking the lives of everyone she loves, “including the two of you.” Elena gestures around the island to both Stefan and Damon when she says it. When she looks at Damon, they hold each other’s eyes a little too long, Elena surprised at what she said and Damon looking for any possibility that she’s remembered the truth. Stefan does not clear his throat like I would have. Point is, she says no, and they say yes.

I’ll just come out with it now, so there’s no confusion: there’s no right or wrong here. Everyone’s old enough and been through enough to make their own decisions about putting their lives on the line. The show does a good job of giving them all valid points, so I’m not going to choose sides. Obviously I do in my secret heart of hearts, but just generally speaking, no one’s wrong, per se.

How ‘Bout That Weather?

Bonnie and Luka run into each other before school or after school or between classes or on Saturday because Mystic Falls is so boring that all the students hang around on campus just for something to do. Sorry, for some reason it bothered me that no one cared or even noticed that either all these kids weren’t in school or that they didn’t come home. ANYway, Bonnie and Luka are all, “Sure is great to be witches unless your nose is bleeding or you’re passing out.” Luka tells her that she’s trying too much, too soon, and she can always channel another witch to draw on his or her power. Bonnie, like girls sometimes do, lies that she’s never done that before, so she can Luka exchange jewellery and get to channelling. The wind starts kicking up, sending papers, fall leaves, and students scattering, while Luka and Bonnie stand perfectly still in the yard. Bonnie looks like she is experiencing what can only be described as a windgasm. It ends, and poor Jeremy rolls up all obliviously, “How ‘bout that weather?” Oh, Jeremy. I thought Jeremy was giving up last time, but he was only ceding the battle. Anyway, Jer tries to worm a little bit, calling Luka weird, and Bonnie immediately snaps to his defence. Witches. Further weirdness is interrupted by a call from Damon.

All for Elena

Eternal Fireplace. Bonnie and Jeremy are, of course, down with the plan to get the moonstone. Bonnie thinks she’s got the mojo to lower the mystical lock on the tomb long enough for the Brother Salvatore to get in, get the stone, and get out. Jeremy’s skittish but can’t reveal why, so he simply suggests that he, with his Gilbert ring, run in there, grab the stone, and run out. Damon sarcastically wonders why they didn’t think of that before and further suggests that Jeremy take a hike, and I find it a little odd that no one full out tells Damon to stop being an ass. I don’t even recall a dirty look thrown his way. Jer’s staying put.

Bonnie asks for something of Katherine’s, and Stefan returns with that tintype that’s always causing so much trouble. He says he took it from her stuff after she “died.” I find this last bit extremely touching for some reason. That it was something she carried around for herself, that he stole it rather than received it as a gift, maybe even that idea that Stefan lied about it being a gift to keep it from Damon, since he looks right into his big brother’s eyes as he hands it over. Maybe he’s waiting for an objection? Hmm. Points to ponder. Bonnie puts it in a metal bowl, lights it up with her pyrotechnic mojo, and does a little spell. The ashes, once they hit Katherine, will temporarily incapacitate her, making it easier for the Brothers Salvatore to grab the stone. Said Brothers scuttle off to grab their gear for the heist, and Jeremy quickly and urgently calls Bonnie out for pushing herself too far (another bloody nose), while I quickly and urgently try to remember whether it’s been established that vamps can smell blood. I think so? Which means that they should know about the weakness Bonnie wants so desperately to hide. Bonnie quickly crosses the distance between them, shushing Jeremy with one finger to his lips, and lo, it is hot. Jeremy is temporarily incapacitated by his desire to kiss Bonnie, and she takes the opportunity to tell him that she’s got it under control. When the Brothers return and Bonnie goes to confer, Jeremy uses his student card (aw!) to scrape half the ashes into his hands and takes off.

At the tomb, Jeremy demands the stone from Katherine. She invites him to come and get it, so he does, first by sending a stake into her stomach (learn to aim better, buddy), then tossing the ashes in her face. He runs in and searches Katherine, but, alas, the stone is not on her person. It’s at the very back at what looks like may have been an underground alter in the original church. Naturally, Katherine jumps up and bites Jeremy just before he crosses the threshold, but he smartly tosses the moonstone out before she fully drags him back. Good job, Jer!

Bonnie and the Brother Salvatore arrive, Damon bitching about Jer’s failure to show. Naturally, that’s when they spy a bleeding Jer in Katherine’s clutches. Stefan has to catch himself at the door to keep from running in there. Yup, we know where that’s going. Since he’s wearing the ring, Jeremy’s effectively a perpetual blood bag, so Katherine will be enjoying herself until Bonnie picks the lock. Unfortunately, Damon gets a call and takes off (more on that in a minute). Stefan and Bonnie set up for the spell, and Jeremy completely blabs her secret by yelling at her not to do it. She keeps insisting it will be okay, but what Jer doesn’t know is that Bonnie still has Luka’s dog tags (blech). She channels him to get enough mojo for the spell. That’s really rude, Bonnie, and dangerous. The last time you channelled someone for this spell, she died (pour one out for Shelia). I realize trying to keep all these worlds from colliding is hard, but you should at least talk to someone first before you sap their very life force. Just a thought for next time. ANYway, Luka collapses from the strain, as does Bonnie, and poor Stefan’s freaking out. When Bonnie comes to, she’s dismayed to discover that even with help she’s not strong enough, and Katherine giggles as she drags Jeremy back inside for all eternity. Which is more than our Stefan can take: he runs in and shoves Jeremy out, sealing himself in. Katherine smiles like that was her plan all along. Damn.

And Elena for All

Eternal fireplace. Elena finds a be-robed Rose, gets enough evidence that Rose and Damon are hooking up, and demands an audience with Rose. She blackmails Rose into taking her to Slater for further intel by reminding her that with one word, the Brothers Salvatore will gladly take Rose out for Elena’s sake. Damn, that shit is cold. Even though I don’t like what Elena’s doing, I like her style.

At Slater’s, where they can enjoy the same tempered glass of the café, Slater is dead and thus useless when it comes to C/Klaus intel. They try to have a peak at his computer files, but the computer is password protected. Fortunately, that’s when Alice, Slater’s human girlfriend, makes a noise. Alice was only into Slater in the hopes that he would turn her (poor Slater), so Elena promises Alice that Rose will in exchange for computer help. Elena plies Rose with daywalker jewellery in exchange for her continued role in this charade. Though the hard drive’s been wiped, Alice restores the files from the remote server. Slater exchanged dozens of emails re: C/Klaus with a “Cody Webber,” so Elena has Alice email as Slater saying that he has the Petrova doppelganger, and she’s ready to surrender. Rose is pretty annoyed with this plan, so she calls Damon.

Damon shows and tells Elena in no uncertain terms to grab her stuff because they are leaving. Damon and Elena proceed to have a fight in which Elena claims that Stefan and Damon make all her decision for her (WHAT?!) and, furthermore, that she has as much right to sacrifice herself for them as they do for her. Which is totally true, but Damon prefers to cite majority rule on this one. Things escalate until Damon does about 18 crazy eye things and threatens, “Get your ass out the door before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself.” Elena tries to punch Damon in the face for that one, and Damon handily catches her fist. Pulled in very close, he warns, “Don’t you ever do that again.” Then they look at each other like sex for a little while and eventually pull apart. All of this is for naught since . . .

The Good Doctor broke into Gilbert rez, stole a bunch of Elena’s stuff, and used it with Elijah for a spell in which Elijah can find Elena’s location. Yeah, let’s back that one on up: if the Good Doctor knows where to get this stuff, doesn’t he know where to find Elena? Unless the spell gives Elijah this ability permanently, it seems like a waste of my time and yours. The only good thing to come of this is shirtless Alaric, whom Elena sees in the middle of the night when the Good Doctor uses some mojo to get her out of her bed, so he can steal her hair and other belongings for his spell. Mmm, shirtless Alaric. More please!

So Cody Webber and his vamps show up, and there’s about half a second of a stand-off before Elijah bursts in, stakes the first guy, confirms that no one knows that Cody Webber and friend are there, and rips out their hearts. Damon bitches about how he totally killed Elijah (perhaps now he’ll learn the value of the double tap), and Rose runs for it. Hee! Also, for some reason I find it amusing that Elijah has no jacket in this scene. Anyway, Damon’s ready to throw down, but Elijah takes off.

A Tomb Built for Two

Gilbert Rez. Jer’s angrily bandaging up his wounds while he and Bonnie fight about which one of them could have been killed tonight. Finally, Bonnie tells Jeremy to basically not have a crush on her, and Jeremy has had enough. He demands that Bonnie not pretend that this is a one sided thing about a boy who’s got a crush on big sister’s friend, and Bonnie just kind of stutters in response because Jeremy is so right. He crosses the kitchen to take her face in his palm, but she shuts things down just before he goes in for a kiss. Bonnie is a stronger person than I. For reasons unknown, Bonnie does not want to get involved with Jeremy. Jeremy releases her, and Bonnie takes off into the night.

On the front porch, Damon walks Elena to the door, and I get antsy about them kissing for real. I get that they have chemistry and are clearly hot for each other, but 1) he just murdered her brother a month ago, and 2) that would be like a stake through Stefan’s heart. Basically, they continue to disagree about who has the right to sacrifice themselves for whom. That’s where Jer opens the door and . . .

We cut to Elena running down the staircase to the tomb screaming Stefan’s name. Damon grabs her just before she makes it into the tomb, and she pounds on his chest demanding to be let in. Stefan silently takes this all in from the altar at the back of the tomb, while Katherine silently takes in his suffering. After a while, Damon asks if Elena’s done, and she stomps off into the night. Stefan comes to the door, and Damon mildly childes him for being an idiot. Aw, Damon’s so worried about his little brother! Damn, I love their relationship. It gets me right here. Stefan passes the torch to Damon, telling him to work with Bonnie to de-spell the moonstone. Damon agrees. Stefan asks Damon to keep Elena away (aw), and Damon snerks, “Yeah, that’ll be easy.” Finally, Stefan says, “Promise me you’ll protect her.” Damon doesn’t answer, because duh, so Stefan says it again, “Promise me.” Damon agrees. I think Stefan’s trying to subtly remind Damon that Elena, as his once and future gf, is “Stefan’s”* to protect globally and thus he is entrusting that responsibility to Damon temporarily.

*I use the quotation marks because that concept is gross, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Stefan thought/felt that way. Also, because as Damon said, Elena’s life is in danger fairly frequently.

Back at the Good Doctor’s HQ, Elijah orders GD to keep Elena safe, at least for the time being. One of my viewing companions suspects that Elijah means to double cross C/Klaus, while I suspect that he’s merely trying to get all his ducks in a row before he goes to his Maker. And by ducks, I mean werewolf and moonstone.

All’s Wolf that Ends Wolf

Matt is looking rough and on the verge of tears as he approaches Tyler to apologize for picking a fight and express sympathy for Sarah’s death. Has anyone noticed Aimee’s disappearance? He leaves and runs into Caroline but bolts when she tries to be supportive. Caroline reminds Tyler that a full moon is coming up, so Tyler brings her to the same cellar on the old Lockwood plantation where he plans to lock himself up. They find Mason’s werewolf diary, including a flash drive. On the drive is a video of Mason’s first transition, which took hours instead of the minutes we saw (apparently it speeds up over time).  I would be excited about the return of shirtless Mason, but, since he’s writhing on the floor in excruciating pain, I’m not. Tyler starts flipping about how he can’t go through that, and way to pull out the acting chops, Michael Trevino! He looks positively terrified. Caroline’s trying to calm him down when Matt shows up at the door. Caroline goes outside to talk to him, and Matt admits that he wants Caroline back. Caroline agrees that she wants to get back together, too. Tyler opens the door so that they can all stand around awkwardly. Also because he wants Caroline now, too. Also also because he has weird boundary issues with the women in Matt’s life.

In other news:

• Jenna and Alaric are very happy.
• Jenna should not apologize to Elena for any distracting noise caused by said happiness since we already know Jenna can hear other’s happiness perfectly well.
• “Chunky monkey?”
• Poor: Caroline’s curl continuity.
• Poor: Elena’s jacket continuity.
• Luka is getting close to Bonnie as per the Good Doctor’s orders, so he’s at least partially in the know about whatever the GD is up to.
• “Get her out of here,” is Damon’s only response to Alice, gushing fangbanger.

Next time: Katherine uses her mind games to get Stefan to have hot, hot sex with her; Damon is maybe using this time out to his advantage re: Elena; Caroline's on the run from Wolf Tyler; Luka continues to impress Bonnie with his magicks.