When Blair said that on last Monday’s Gossip Girl, “Panic Roommate,” I may have yelled, “THESIS STATEMENT.” Because, seriously, if Gossip Girl had a central idea, it would be “scheming and burlesque,” right? Also, I hope Jacob took that as a massive shout out. Otherwise, though I haven’t been recapping, I have been watching, and Gossip Girl is still doing everything I love: Serena’s moves on to the next guy as soon as the first gets close, Blair’s up to her eyes in a scheme of her own making, Dan’s hating, Chuck’s making faces, and Nate’s getting pimped. Yay!

Ex-Con Estates

So get this: Goofus (he’s Goofus all episode long, no?) didn’t even ask Dan if it would be okay to move an ex-con into the loft. He brought it up once and just assumed that Dan would be on board because . . . Ben was falsely accused? Making up for Lily’s lies is Goofus’ full time job now? Maybe Dan should show a little gratitude toward his totally rent-free existence? I would argue the last, but Goofus is probably thinking the first. So Dan immediately goes running to Eric with what he perceives as a serious problem.