Last week’s The Vampire Diaries, “The Last Day,” proved two things: Damon is love’s bitch, and there’s little anyone can do to stop Klaus. Not that I think Elena is going to die (I’ve watched TV before, babies), but there’s no telling what the exact outcome will be. Also, the CW Rochester STILL has flippin’ sound problems during VD broadcasts. Get it together, network.

Magic Elixir Does the Body Good

The ep opens with shirtless Damon, and one of my viewing companions opines that all eps should start this way. Downstairs in front of Eternal Fireplace, Elijah is recapping the truth about the curse for Stefan and now Damon. Damon’s all about power player Bonnie, but Elena – natch – is still tweaking about her best girl dying. Damon: “I'll write her a great eulogy.”  I can only imagine! “In the months since I tried to rip Bonnie’s throat out, we developed a steamy sexual chemistry that forced us to no longer share the screen because the writers weren’t pushing a dirty, dirty vamp-witchy romance. I sure as hell thought about it, but it didn’t happen. Anyway, turns out she was cool beans. Now she’s dead. See ya, Bon-Bon! Have fun with other Bitches of Eastwick serving nature in the great beyond!”