As you no doubt expected, Nate's thinky face was no match for the pure joy Ed Westwick unleashed at the end of "The Lady Vanished" when Chuck finally sat down with his mom for a chat. Of course, when she said she wanted to know everything about him, I laughed that she had no idea what she was in for. Part-time rapist? Full-time purple enthusiast? (Though the ensembles are on a downward trend. Not for craftsmanship, mind, but they are certainly less fabulous than they used to be. Remember his bass cardigan? The paisley? And what's up with the pinky ring/bracelet combo?). Although the episode was light on scheming, complicated sexual dynamics, and dire stupidity, it was also a vast improvement over "The Hurt Locket" and on par with the Gossip Girl we've come to know and love. Like so: 

The MotherChucker

Apparently Elizabeth Fisher (née Evelyn) is indeed Chuck's mom, which doesn't explain her uncontrolled accent or addiction to beige, but I guess we'll take it one step at a time. Seems she wanted to give Chuck up for adoption only for Bart to decide to keep the baby, so they cooked up the "died in childbirth" that, you know, saddled Chuck with a lifetime of guilt and strained his relationship with his dad.

In addition to the fact that The Runaways will have begin a limited release in Canada and the U.S. this Friday, it's been well publicized for some time now that it stars Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett and Dakota Fanning as Cherrie Currie. Nothing new here, obviously. But I actually watched the trailer this weekend, and you know what? It totally stars Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen. See for yourself:

A few weeks ago, I went to see Shutter Island. In the wing seating, a lady started yelling at some people as they exited during the end credits. It wasn't clear exactly what she was on about, but, naturally, my sympathy was with the older lady over the "young punks." As a remix of Dinah Washington's "This Bitter Earth" played over the end credits, my viewing companion and I discussed how copyright issues over this very song kept Killer of Sheep, one of the greatest American movies ever made, from being seeing by the wider public for 30 years. Unfortunately discussing exactly what we are hearing during the end credits was too much for the now obviously old lady, who started yelling at us to "STOP TALKING!" Just in case you were wondering, according to crazy old ladies who scare away even their minders with their yelling, "OUTSIDE IS FOR TALKING!" You know, during the end credits in a mostly empty theatre. I'll admit to you that I was actually upset by the lengthy tongue lashing we got for, in my opinion, doing nothing wrong. 

This morning I read this story in the L.A. Times, and apparently it could have been much worse. Not to make light of the situation because it is terrible, but a meat thermometre? They left and came back with a meat thermometre? How desperately do you want to stab someone that you could leave and come back with the thing that tells you if your turkey is done? Also, stop talking on your cell phone, violent jackass.

Since I finally pinpointed the episode where Diaries got good, I probably didn't need to keep watching the CW's week long marathon last night, but I did anyway. "Haunted" and "162 Candles" are great episodes: excellent character development, lots of action, a few surprises. Highlights:

 

 

The AV Club released their best film performances of the decade list yesterday, and I dismissed their first entry for Anne Hathaway in Rachel Getting Married as a coincidence. But as I scrolled down as saw both Mark Ruffalo in You Can Count on Me and Laura Linney in said same movie, it was hard not to call the shout out. Didn't I just tell you guys how great they are in that movie just a couple of weeks ago? Sure did. I call shout out, even though they have been compiling their list for some time and likely unaware of my similar opinion. I am the queen of specious shout outs. Also, three makes a rule.

On Monday night's Gossip Girl, Olivia (Hilary Duff) decided to show Dan's parents that she really is the shallow Hollywood starlet she believes they think her to be (yeah, lots of lies this ep), so she rolls up to the Freshmen Parents Dinner/Toast/Impossible Social Situation in a skin tight, peach Hervé Léger.

Over on Monday night's Castle, Beckett (Stana Katic) needs to remind everyone that she is a hottie in addition to a bitchin' detective, so she rolls up to Castle's book launch party in a skin tight, blue Hervé Léger.

On Gossip Girl, this sort of thing is expected. Also, TV has long conditioned me to accept that people on inside the tube wear clothes, live in houses, and drive cars far beyond their salary range, so I'm okay with Beckett's choice. But twice in one night on two different networks? What's next? Will Quinn be in tears on Glee tonight when her Herve Leger no longer fits? Will Jonathan have to solve the case of the stolen Herve Leger on Sunday's Bored to Death? Remember: twice is a coincidence; three makes a rule.