At (Cult)ure we're in the business of producing written words, but that doesn't mean that we don't enjoy things like spoken words or words set to music or things that don't have words at all. So each week we'll bring you a small collection of non-written things that we enjoyed.

Best Podcast: Mike & Tom Eat Snacks, "Episode 52"

Mike and Tom have always made a point of not revealing the snack until they actually get around to eating it, so I'm not going to spoil the fun. Nor will I explain who Matty Ice is or what he does to deserve a two-person standing ovation. If these simple facts aren't enough to tempt you, well, laughter is the best medicine for whatever is the matter with you. Click. Listen. Laugh.

Oh, you guys. I know we're all in a tizzy to attend the nuptials of those two crazy kids (using the term loosely, of course), so I bet you're wondering what to get the couple who has everything (or can afford to buy it). The answer, I don't mind tell you, is a 10 piece dinner set for two for $160. I've been to enough weddings to know that people really do register for pricey place settings like this (whereas I prefer some good old fashioned shatter resistant Corelle), so I'm not going to quibble over the price. I can't tell if my favourite part is the suggestion that this is a great "gift-idea" or the fact that the copy editor thinks "gift idea" is a hyphenate.

Hey, remember Tuesday Recipes? Well, I'm bringing 'em back. The credit for this one should actually go to Lauren (in addition to Nigella, of course). She served 'em up right at a party, and I've been going crazy over them ever since. 

Ingredients

• 2 1/4 cups (18-ounces) assorted unsalted nuts, including peeled peanuts, cashews, Brazil nuts, hazelnuts, walnuts, pecans and whole unpeeled almonds
• 2 tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh rosemary leaves
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 2 teaspoons dark brown sugar
• 2 teaspoons Maldon or other sea salt
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter, melted

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Toss the nuts in a large bowl to combine and spread them out on a baking sheet. Toast in the oven until light golden brown, about 10 minutes.

Friday

La Petite Mort Gallery presents...
One Night Only Exhibit
EL MAKS & SPECIAL GUESTS: MEEN & AZDEAD
"INGLORIOUS BEASTIES" : Mixed Media, Found Objects & Paintings.
Friday August 13, 2010 /7-10 pm | 306 Cumberland St

Wurm Gallery | Invisible Cinema presents:
STUCK TOGETHER...  (...WE COME AS A PACKAGE DEAL)
Collage and Paintings by Izzy Pouliot & Merrill O’Malley
One Month Exhibit
August  13TH – September 22ND, 2010
Opening Night: Friday August 13TH, 2010  8pm
319 Lisgar St.

Saturday

La Petite Mort Gallery presents...
FIVE DAY EXHIBIT
KARL GOERTZEN
A Life in Paint
August 14-19, 2010
Vernissage: Saturday August 14, 2010/ 7-10 p.m. | 306 Cumberland St

Friday

La Petite Mort Gallery presents...
FIVE DAY EXHIBIT
KARA WILLIAMS
New Paintings
July 16-22, 2010
Vernissage: Friday July 16, 2010 / 7-10pm | 306 Cumberland Street

a night above/ground: Irwin, Anstee + McCann
at the Carleton Tavern, 233 Armstrong (at Parkdale)
lovingly hosted by rob mclennan
Friday, July 16; doors 7pm; readings 7:30pm

On Friday, July 16 at 8 p.m., past mayors, players and media darlings will come back to life as the Ottawa Storytellers get the historical debate rolling. The Storytellers will lead the event but will be relying on public participation to fight out all sides of the city’s development through time.
2100 Cabot St., Ottawa| Admission: $10
For more information call 613-247-4830 or visit ottawa.ca/museums

Saturday

Dawn Sandey: Solo Show
70 plus paintings and installations
July 15th to 31st 2010.
Meet the Artist: Saturday, July 17th. 12 to 6 pm.
Patrick John Mills Contemporary Fine Art Gallery | 286 Hinchey Ave. Ottawa

BLINK Gallery presents PETRA HALKES & JOYCE WESTROP, "TIRELESS"
Exhibition continues Friday, July 16 – Tuesday, July 20, 12 – 5 pm
SPECIAL EVENT --  Saturday, July 17, 12 – 5 pm
In conjunction with the theme of the exhibition, the artists have mounted a truck tire on a stand outside Header House. On Saturday afternoon they will invite guests to print their own souvenirs by pressing a card onto an inked section of The Tire.
Located at Header House in Major’s Hill Park (across from the National Gallery of Canada at the foot of the Alexandra Bridge – look for the little stone building)

The Power Plant + Pleasure Dome present Animal Drag Kingdom, an Outdoor Screening @ 401 Richmond St.West Courtyard, Sat, July 17, 9pm
Works by Douglas Gordon, Kristin Lucas, Guy Ben-Ner, Kathy High, Steve Reinke & Jessie Mott and others
$8/ 5 Members + students
(Rain date: Sunday, July 18, 9pm)

Ceprano provides a Balanced Rock Sculpture project at Remic Rapids each summer season in collaboration with the National Capital Commission.
The following venues of entertainment will be provided upon site on Saturday, July 17, 2010 Ay 11 a.m., Laura Astwood & The Ottawa Stilt Union will perform "The Girl Who Was Eaten By the Dark."
The Ottawa Stilt Union is a bilingual group of artists committed to bringing the magical and the unexpected into the daily lives of people in the National Capital Region through the creation and performance of stilt-based theatre works and through the teaching of workshops in that art form.
At 7 p.m., Jesse Stewart and Deborah Danbrook provide a musical collaboration, equally unique and exciting.
Deborah Danbrook performed upon site in 2009, with Natasha Royka Dance co., "From the Soul: Peace". Deborah creates a unique and delicate sound with the Japanese Shakuhachi flute.  Jesse also performed upon site in 2009, the title of his performance was "Music for Stone and Water", providing his own hand crafted stone instruments as well as his custom crafted 'Waterphone.'
Remic Rapids Park is located on the Western Parkway, between the Parkdale and Island Park Dr., and is directly across the parkway from Tuney's Pasture.

Sunday

Boutique Arthena-art&écodesign in Chelsea is having a birds theme for summer: come and see the artworks by local artists, the watercolours by Sally Lee Sheeks (pictured: becasseau pattes vertes), the wire sculptures by Lisa Brunetta, the inks by Anamaria Gomez-Upegui. And this Sunday, July 18th from 1pm to 4pm, the artist Sally Lee Sheeks will take you for a guided tour of her work and an art demonstration. Free of charge and open to everyone. Arthena - art & écodesign 205, Chemin Old Chelsea Chelsea (Québec)

Galerie Old Chelsea is pleased to invite you to an exhibition, "WOOD'N INK," by Ted Johnston
16 July to 04 August 2010
Vernissage:  Sunday 18 July 1 to 4pm
Galerie Old Chelsea, 10 Chemin Scott, QC

Rev up your engines and cruise over to the Vintage Car Show at the Cumberland Heritage Village Museum this Sunday, July 18. Vehicle enthusiasts are invited to spend the day sharing stories and exploring the museum. Kids can get revved up for the outdoor games, activities, and the museum’s new Discovery Zone displaying simple machinery.
Re-fuel at the barbeque, compliments of the Cumberland Lions Club, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Location: 2940 Old Montreal Road
When: Sunday, July 18 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Admission: $7 for adults, $5 for students and seniors, and $18 for the whole family
For more information call 613-833-3059 or visit ottawa.ca/museums

Friday

Galerie McKenzie Marcotte is pleased to present "Figures of Speech," a series of abstract paintings by John F. Marok. Everyone is welcome to the vernissage on Friday June 11 at 7 pm. The exhibition will continue until July 5 2010. 26 Sully Rd. in Wakefield Qc.

Wurm Gallery / Invisible Cinema presents:
Saudade: Tales of Longing - New Paintings by Sherry Garcia
One Month Exhibit
June 11 - July 7, 2010
Opening Night: Friday June 11th, 2010 8pm
Bonus: Drinks, Snacks & Tunes
319 Lisgar St.

Friday and Saturday

On June 11th and 12th at Arts Court Theatre (2 Daly Ave. Ottawa, ON), Propeller Dance presents "Shedding Light", an evening of original performance works by Propeller Dance Company and a showcase of our recreational program, shedding light on the beauty, inspiration and pure artistry of integrated dance. Tickets are $25 for adults and $15
for students/low-income and are on sale now at the Arts Court Box office - 613-564-7240. Doors open at 6:30 for the silent auction (silent auction payment by cash and cheque only). Show starts at 7:30pm.

Upon my return from France, I decided to whip up a little something I ate while there in order to ease my best friend's suffering as she sat through vacation photos.

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons butter
• 2 tablespoons all purpose flour
• 1 cup whole milk
• Pinch of ground nutmeg
• 1 bay leaf

• 4 slices firm white sandwich bread
• 4 ounces thinly sliced Black Forest ham
• 4 ounces sliced Gruyère cheese
• 1 tablespoon melted butter
• 1/4 cup grated Gruyère cheese
• 2 teaspoons chopped fresh chives

Preparation

Melt 2 tablespoons butter in small saucepan over medium heat. Add flour and stir 1 minute. Gradually whisk in milk. Add nutmeg and bay leaf. Increase heat to medium-high and boil until sauce thickens, whisking constantly, about 2 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.

Preheat broiler. Place 2 bread slices on work surface. Top each with half of ham and sliced Gruyère. Top with remaining bread. Heat heavy large skillet over low heat. Brush sandwiches with 1 tablespoon melted butter. Add to skillet and cook until deep golden brown, about 2 minutes per side. Transfer to small baking sheet. Spoon sauce, then grated cheese over sandwiches. Broil until cheese begins to brown, about 2 minutes.

Project Window is pleased to show new work by Ottawa artist Eleanor Doran until June 1st. Email the artist  doransquared@hotmail.com or contact Project Window coordinator Georgia Mathewson @ 185somerset@gmail.com for more info!

ARTHENA - art & écodesign of Chelsea is proud to present the "Journey" series by Margit Hideg. Using mixed media, she creates her own world, where abstraction meets her interpretation of Nature. The body of work “Journey Series” is a "walking" documentary of how trees change their growth patterns, how they heal and learn to grow again. The walk itself has a symbolic meaning for life cycle from birth to death.
More information at:
http://www.arthena.ca/guest-artists/
ARTHENA - art&écodesign | 205 Old Chelsea Rd

Jean-François Lacombe, "Kortunefookie"
Interactive installation
Situated in front of DAÏMÕN's entrance, 78 Hanson St., Gatineau
Exhibition from May 12th to May 24th 2010
Open to the public any time

1. Go to the Louvre. Skip the most famous pieces, the Mona Lisa and the Venus de Milo - or, if you must, run past them just so you can say you were in the same room as them. (Watch this video to see how it should be done in maximum, floor-sliding style.) Instead, go to the Dutch and Flemish paintings to see works of Rubens, Rembrandt, Vermeer, Ruysdael, and others. Particularly impressive is the Medici room, a series of 21 paintings by Rubens depicting the life of Marie de Medici, the wife of the French king Henri IV, and mother of Louis XIII. Spend as much time there as you can stand, and then go out into the Tuileries and sit down for an ice cream cone, and then a glass of wine and a sandwich at one of the outdoor cafes.

2. Go to the Shakespeare  & Company bookstore, just over the bridge from Notre Dame Cathedral, on the left bank. Go up to the second floor, grab a book from the shelves, and find a chair or couch in a quiet corner to read it. (This is not only tolerated, but encouraged - in fact, most of the books on the second floor are not even for sale.)

3. Go to a cemetery. Pere Lachaise is the famous one, with Oscar Wilde and Jim Morrison, Piaf, Proust and Chopin; but the Montmartre and Montparnasse ones also have loads of famous dead people (including Hector Berlioz, Francois Truffaut, and Louise Weber, aka the can-can dancer "La Goulue" in Montmartre; Sartre, de Beauvoir, de Maupassant and Susan Sontag in Montparnasse). Just make sure you have a good map of the cemetery and the notable graves in it before you go. They are not neatly, geometrically arranged places; there are acres and acres of tombs and gravestones, many of them old, faded and mossy, often hidden behind large sepulchres of long-forgotten aristocratic French families, and few pathways through them.

Recently, in a highly unusually moment of TV news watching, I learned of something called "Meatless Mondays." According to the website, the goal is to "help reduce meat consumption by 15% in order to improve personal health and the health of our planet." Now, if there's one way to sucker me into doing something green, it's by making it easy. How easy is it to not eat meat? Easier than recycling! I already had a meatless option in mind when I meal planned earlier this week; now I'll make it tonight. Would that all challenges were so simple.

Breakfast: Crispix (milk is alright)

Lunch: Strawberry and Almond Salad

I don't know why exactly, but I got it into my head that I should bake some brownies. Unfortunately I got this into my head after I ate three of my remaining four eggs, and you know what brownies take a lot of? Eggs. Further adventures in disaster baking await.

Ingredients

• 6 (1-ounce) squares unsweetened baking chocolate
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
• 11/2 cups sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 3 large eggs
• 11/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups miniature marshmallows
• 1 cup walnut pieces
• 1/2 cup caramel or chocolate sauce, store bought

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Coat an 8-inch square baking pan with non-stick spray and set aside.

Friday

Experience the birth of punk Islam in the critically acclaimed film -
“THE TAQWACORES”
And watch the Spiritual Journey of Michael Muhammed Knight
Playing at the Mayfair Theatre 1074 Bank Street, Ottawa
Friday, January 22, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Saturday, January 23, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Sunday, January 24, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Monday, January 25, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Meet film firector Omar Majeed for a Q and A following the film on Friday, January 22, 2010
“Freedom of Expression for the Muslim Artist”
A Panel Discussion with film director Omar Majeed, Art History PhD. Candidate Nadia Kurd, and McGill U. Photographer Asif Rehman following the film on Saturday, January 23, 2010
 RSVP for the panel discussion and/or for more information:  Shahla Khan Salter, tel. 613 260 8798, email: khansalter@rogers.com , Chair, Muslims for Progressive Values (Ottawa Chapter)

La Petite Mort Gallery presents SARAH SCHORLEMER & DRASKO BOGDANOVIC
ONE NIGHT ONLY Photo Exhibit [Editor's Note: Are "one night stands" a thing of the past?]
Friday Jan 22, 2010 / 7 - 10pm, 306 Cumberland
Tunes by Big Mac Daddy
Proudly sponsored by CKCU 93.1 FM

A friend mentioned that she loves pine nuts over dinner, and, since I was planning to bake her some cookies for a trip anyway, I plugged "pine nuts" into a Food Network search and baked the first recipe it came up with. It helped that I had all the ingredients on hand.

Ingredients

• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
• 1 cup powdered sugar, plus more for dusting
• 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• Pinch salt
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup toasted pine nuts, chopped
• 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chunks or chips

Directions

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F.

Combine the butter, powdered sugar, cocoa powder, vanilla, and salt in a large bowl. Using a hand mixer, beat the mixture until creamy, about 2 minutes. Add the flour, pine nuts, and chocolate. Stir until just mixed.

Two things: 1) you need something quick and easy for your next holiday pot luck, and 2) people really like veggies that taste like dessert.

Ingredients

• 1 large butternut squash, about 1 pound
• 2 Bosc or Anjou pears
• 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 vanilla bean
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 2 teaspoons ground ginger
• Course salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Cut the butternut squash in half lengthwise and remove the seeds. Peel the pears, cut in half and remove the core. Place the pears and squash, cut side up, on a foil-lined baking sheet.

We've already talked Slapsgiving, so if you are bored tonight and in need something other Thanksgiving-related entertainment (especially since The Vampire Diaries and Supernatural aren't back until January), I recommend that Thanksgiving episode of Buffy (with Angel!) or Home for the Holidays, an underrated Jodie Foster-helmed Holly Hunter and Robert Downey Jr.-starring movie about a black sheep who comes home just for the day. Not everything in it has aged that well, but it's still a perennial favourite for holiday cheer.

Oh, and add half a cup of grated cheddar to your green bean casserole. Delicious!

Things I don't get: Kraft Dinner and this country's love of it. It's not that I begrudge other people eating it, but try to serve it to me and watch me push it around the bowl like a child. People try to sell me on classier versions of KD, like PC's Deluxe White Cheddar, but I just don't understand how people can eat it. The problem is, of course, that I don't get the appeal of macaroni and cheese.

Even so, I occasionally like to challenge myself to eat something I didn't like before to see if maybe I was too harsh in the past. Along came this recipe via the London Free Press. My mom clipped it for me, knowing that I am a professed sweet potato and white cheddar lover. And you know what? It is better than I thought. 

Sweet Potato Mac with White Cheddar

At least that's what I'm forced to infer from the new Vitamin Water/New Moon tie-in commercial. No sooner am I promised antioxidants via watered down juice than a young man suddenly morphs into a wolf/husky/thing! See for yourself after the jump.

The CBC has broken the story that recent messages posted on Twitter under the 'Chef at Home' user name were not posted by Michael Smith, but by an impostor assuming the popular Chef and TV host's identity.

Recent tweets made disparaging remarks about Montreal restaurants, and seemed especially out of character for those familiar with Smith.

(Cult)ure had the pleasure of interviewing Smith last year and he was warm, friendly, open, and every bit the gentleman you see on TV each week.  Check out our interview here, and be sure to spread the world to your friends on Twitter about the identity theft.

I found a jar of salsa in my cupboard this weekend and was hit hard by a craving for nachos. Every once and a while, I look up a recipe for something that I have been making for a long time on my own just to see how a pro would do it. A lot of the recipes I looked at were highly involved (e.g. placing a jalapeno slice on each individual chip), so this one came out on top.

Ingredients

• 1 pound Mexican chorizo, removed from casings and crumbled
• 1 tablespoon chopped garlic
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
• 2 cups cooked pinto beans
• 1/2 teaspoon chili powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• Water
• Homemade Tortilla Chips, recipe below, or large, restaurant style corn tortilla chips
• 1 1/2 cups grated pepper jack
• 1 1/2 cups grated sharp cheddar
• 1 small white onion, sliced into thin rings
• 5 large jalapenos, stemmed, seeded, and chopped, or to taste
• 1 cup sour cream
• 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
• Chopped fresh cilantro leaves, for garnish

Directions

In a large skillet, cook the chorizo, garlic, and cumin, stirring, over medium-high heat until the sausage is browned and the fat is rendered, about 5 minutes. Remove and drain on paper towels. To the fat in the pan, add the pinto beans, chili powder, salt, and 1 to 1 1/2 cups water (depending on the moisture in the beans). Cook over medium heat until warmed through, smashing with the back of a heavy wooden spoon or potato masher until chunky/smooth. Remove from the heat.

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

Okay, I'll have an actual Tuesday Recipe for you later, but first you must head over to the National Punctuation Day site and scroll down to learn more about National Punctuation Day Baking Contest. If there are two things I love, they're proper punctuation and baking. As my favourite punctuation mark is a semicolon, that's what I'll bake. The dot is the easy part . . . do I carve the comma out of another shape? I guess so. Also, this day gives me an excuse to figure out what tipsy cake is.