It is guilty pleasures night on DWTS, and we kick off the night with a performance from Hanson. Yes. You read that correctly. Who lists “Mmmbop” as a guilty pleasure? Not I. All of these Hanson lads seem really old now, which makes me old. Good times. Apparently all of the songs tonight are “guilty pleasures” so I will be rating each of them for their guilt-factor. Please keep in mind that I don’t know anything about music.

Kirstie Alley and Maks: This week, these two are dancing a samba to Kirstie’s guilty pleasure of “Hit me Baby One More Time” by Britney. God bless the costumers for putting Kirstie in a very flattering outfit this evening. She looks pretty cute. Maks, on the other hand, is wearing a high-waisted trouser and it is giving him mom jeans butt. Unflattering! Their samba is ok. It isn’t as high-energy as most sambas, and Kirstie doesn’t seem to be having as much fun as usual. Len thinks the performance was great, and Bruno agrees. The boys give her two 9s and Carrie Ann gives her an 8. Not bad scores at all. Guilt-o-meter rating: 7 giant sunglasses out of 10. This song is really not that bad, and it is a pre-mess Britney, so it is forgivable.

Chris Jericho and Cheryl: This week these two are tackling the tango, and Chris’ song is the recently overplayed (thanks, Glee!) “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. The dance is ok…it certainly holds my attention, even though the tango is a harsher dance than is allowed for in this pop song. The judges don’t really like it. Bruno says Chris looked like a block of granite, which I kind of agree with. Len defends Chris and says that his technique is good. They get two 7s and an 8. Guilt-o-meter rating: 3 baseball caps out of 10. This song has been made into a mainstream hit by the aforementioned Glee and it is not really a guilty pleasure at all.