Damon gets to utter last night's The Vampire Diaries episode title, "Fool Me Once," and, since he went for an over the top sotto voce delivery to the tail end of that aphorism, I'm down with that. Actually, I'm down with pretty much everything Damon does in this episode. Elena's a Little Miss Me-ffet for some of it, Bonnie and Grams team up to use super-witchy powers, and Stefan once again proves that he's the most dangerous vampire on the show. See for yourself!

Damon

Damon informs Stefan in no uncertain terms that he won't be helping Stefan track Elena down, telling him first that he hopes Elena dies and, if she still has Damon's blood in her system when she does, at least Stefan knows he'll see her again. Man, is Damon hurting. Anna tries to get Damon to work with her, which backfires because Stefan frees Elena and Bonnie (more on that in a minute) without Damon's help. Newly freed Elena convinces Damon that they all need to work together, and Damon heads down to the tomb with a blood bag for his beloved Katherine (adorable). All his searching is for naught, however, when it turns out that Katerine isn't even in there. He confronts Anna and newly-freed Pearl, who tells him that Katherine compelled a guard into letting her escape and never looked back. To add insult to injury, Anna ran into Katherine in Chicago in 1983, who knew where Damon was and didn't even care. Ouch. By episode's close, Damon's staring numbly in the fire at the Salvatore mansion with Stefan taking up quiet residence next to him. 

It's a truth universally acknowledged that there an Academy member in possession of a ballot is in want of taste. Combine that truth with the fact that this has been a crap year for movies, yet the best picture category has been expanded to 10 nominations, and you're set for disappointment. You can view the complete list of nominations here. Expect to say "No" at least once per (major?) category. Actually, I'll do it for you:

Performance by an actor in a leading role

• Jeff Bridges in "Crazy Heart" (Fox Searchlight)
• George Clooney in "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
• Colin Firth in "A Single Man" (The Weinstein Company)
• Morgan Freeman in "Invictus" (Warner Bros.)
• Jeremy Renner in "The Hurt Locker" (Summit Entertainment)

No:  George Clooney and Morgan Freeman. Yes: George Clooney, "Fantastic Mr. Fox," Sharlto Copley, "District Nine." Also wouldn't have minded an out-of-left-field, Johnny Depp/Pirates of the Caribbean-style nod (not a win, mind) for Robert Downey Jr. in Sherlock Holmes, but I guess he got one of those last year.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

• Matt Damon in "Invictus" (Warner Bros.)
• Woody Harrelson in "The Messenger" (Oscilloscope Laboratories)
• Christopher Plummer in "The Last Station" (Sony Pictures Classics)
• Stanley Tucci in "The Lovely Bones" (DreamWorks in association with Film4, Distributed by Paramount)
• Christoph Waltz in "Inglourious Basterds" (The Weinstein Company)

No: Pretty much anyone who isn't Christoph Waltz. Yes: Everyone else in "The Hurt Locker," Peter Capaldi, "In the Loop."

There's this thing on True Blood about how vampires, no matter how decently they might behave and no matter how much TruBlood they might drink, are essentially predators and being in a room with one is like being in a room with a loaded gun. It's only a matter of time before it goes off. Even Bill, our erstwhile "hero" of vampiredom, feeds on humans on the regular.

So last night's The Vampire Diaries entry, "Bloodlines," featured not at all the plotline I had read (though I am informed it is in the books and only a matter of time before the show goes there), but instead something we all could have guessed: Damon rescues Elena from the car accident/potential vamp attack and then drags her off to Georgia while she is unconscious rather than taking her to a hospital (okay, maybe we didn't guess the road trip part). This marks the second episode in which Elena is griveously injured but does not seek medical attention, and I can't tell if the writers are going somewhere with this (death wish? maybe combined with survivor's grief?) or if they think we won't notice. Hey, Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec! I noticed!

Anyway, what starts out as a kidnapping morphs into a deciding to stick around with, save the life of, and start to like a dude who:

For half a second there, I wasn't sure that anything was opening this weekend. Fortunately for you, I am wrong.

The Lovely Bones, Peter Jackson's much anticipated adaptation of Alice Sebold's novel, finally makes it to wide release this weekend. Expect my Book vs. Film next Tuesday. The Book of Eli, about . . . something, opens this weekend as well. Sorry, it's about Denzel Washington kicking people's asses after the apocalypse because they want to get his hands on his (last remaining?) copy of the Bible, which may or may not contain the Book of Eli (apocrypha). At least, that's as much as I can tell from the trailer and any of the ads. There's also The Spy Next Door, which stars Jackie Chan who is, no doubt, a spy living next door to some people. I had never heard of it until yesterday when a man asked the young lady at the ticket counter when it comes out, and she replied that he could "check on the internet." V. helpful!

At ye olde Bytowne, A Single Man is still playing along with depressing apocalypse movie The Road and Mary and Max, delightful animation about long distance penpals voiced by Toni Collette and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

On Monday night, I finally gave up the ghost and started watching the third season of Mad Men online. I caught the first two seasons on CTV, which mysteriously hasn't scheduled an airing of the third season. Sister network Bravo seems to have the show on a continuous loop, interrupted only by Dexter (another show I started watching on CTV only to have it cruelly taken away), but I haven't figured out exactly when to break in or if the third season is even part of that loop. Bell, my satellite provider, decided to pick up AMC after the season had finished airing. Thanks, Bell. Hence: the internet.

I've watched the first two episodes, and so far it's on course for another season of quiet devastation: equal part laughs, "holy shit," and "Oh, Don." He's everyone's favourite handsome retro sociopath! What shocked me, though, was the realization that Don has green eyes.

I noticed it during the first episode, "Out of Town," and then remembered that he had green eyes even in the season two previouslies. Didn't he have brown eyes in season one? When and for what reason did Jon Hamm stop wearing contacts for the role? I got all excited to dig into this mystery and share the results with you, but you know what? Never happened. 

January's theme, liberation, just reminded me of the final song of Act 1 of the rock opera version of Notre Dame de Paris, so I decided to share it with you. Yes, rock opera. I love a good rock opera about a tragedy, don't you? Everyone sings their little hearts out and dies. Anyway, the song's called "Liberés," and you can watch it after the jump.

Obviously, no one in their right mind. But dear Serena never had a right mind to begin with, so naturally she told Trip they needed to stay away from each other, made out with him in a elevator, apologized to his wife for causing trouble, managed to get the upper hand on her mom, and eventually ran off with Trip in a limo while wearing a cat suit with black lace down the middle so that her ample cleavage got enough air. Because if there's one thing Serena does at Thanksgiving, it's fuck everything up.

All of this, plus the following:

• Dan confirms that CeCe's heart runs on "secrets and gin," giving viewers new life goals.
• Dan realizes that he does indeed love Vanessa, so Gabriella (the formidable Gina Torres) decides to try her hand at parenting for the first time and tells him to stay way if he's unwilling to commit to something serious. Hilariously, how her daughter might feel about Dan is never a consideration for either of them.
• Eric's full out evil involves texts like, "We have to strike now" and eating a big bite of pie. Enjoying desserts on holidays is like enjoying the fruits of the Devil every other night of the year.
• Chuck tries to mend the current Waldorf rift by selling Blair out to Eleanor, explaining that he bought that particular champagne because Blair told him to. Both ladies studiously ignore him. 
• Chuck also advises Nate to tell Serena how he feels, threatens Serena and Trip, calls Nate out on stealing from him, and eventually ditches Blair (and sweater shopping with Harold and Roman!) for a heartbroken Nate. Aw, Nathaniel is his true love.
• The new Empire-based Bass Cave has a motorcycle is decoration. That's even better than Logan's suit of armour.

For yes, indeed, yet another episode ends with a heartbroken Nate. Poor guy confessed his feelings to Serena and begged her to stay, but, as mention, she drove off with Trip instead. While it will doubtless turn out next week that Trip is crazy and Nate will be entirely justified in once again punching a family member in the face,* it would be hard to make the right choice with two Vanderbilts giving you the glad eye.
*I just wondered when he would finally punch Grandfather in the face, but I realized that Grandfather is probably a boxing champ who would wipe the floor with Nathaniel.

Or, as it flashed over the news-scroll on the TV sets where I bought my lunch, "Michael Jackson's This Is It film praised by fans." The fans like it, huh? Must be solid filmmaking!