Going into last night’s The Vampire Diaries, “Masquerade,” we knew two things: that Stefan and Damon were going to kill Katherine and that Matt was going to die to turn Tyler, which mean that we knew one more thing: neither of these characters were going to die. Not that The Vampire Diaries isn’t the kind of show that goes around just killing characters for the heck of it – because it so is and that’s one of the many reasons we love it – but because it’s too soon to kill Katherine and killing Matt would just be a waste. The great thing about this show, though, is that you’re actually on the edge of your seat wondering how these plots will be thwarted. And that how? Is so awesome. I love this show.

Because I’m Going to Kill Her

Eternal Fireplace. “Masquerade” begins with the now classic intercut intro. Damon’s administering a calming tumbler of blood to a shaken Caroline while prompting her to run the story by a newly arrived Stefan. Caroline’s story is cut with delightful little editorials from Damon. The gist: Katherine’s down at the Grill impersonating Elena. In the bathroom, she once again uses Caroline as her messenger: tell Damon and Stefan that I want the moonstone tonight at the masquerade ball. Having something Katherine wants is one thing, but having an opportunity is something neither brother can pass up. Damon immediately crows that he’s going to kill Katherine, and Stefan goes, “No, you’re not.” This goes back and forth for a short while because Somerhalder and Wesley have got the brother thing down pat, but finally Damon is like, “This is no time for your humanity, bro,” and Stefan tells the truth, “You're not going to kill her. [beat] Because I’m going to kill her.” Aw, hells ya.

The Guardian has asked 29 well-known writers - including Margaret Atwood, Zadie Smith, Neil Gaiman, and Jonathan Franzen - to submit ten rules for writing fiction:

Macy Halford at The New Yorker's book blog The Book Bench, has written a thoughtful response.

There's this thing on True Blood about how vampires, no matter how decently they might behave and no matter how much TruBlood they might drink, are essentially predators and being in a room with one is like being in a room with a loaded gun. It's only a matter of time before it goes off. Even Bill, our erstwhile "hero" of vampiredom, feeds on humans on the regular.

So last night's The Vampire Diaries entry, "Bloodlines," featured not at all the plotline I had read (though I am informed it is in the books and only a matter of time before the show goes there), but instead something we all could have guessed: Damon rescues Elena from the car accident/potential vamp attack and then drags her off to Georgia while she is unconscious rather than taking her to a hospital (okay, maybe we didn't guess the road trip part). This marks the second episode in which Elena is griveously injured but does not seek medical attention, and I can't tell if the writers are going somewhere with this (death wish? maybe combined with survivor's grief?) or if they think we won't notice. Hey, Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec! I noticed!

Anyway, what starts out as a kidnapping morphs into a deciding to stick around with, save the life of, and start to like a dude who:

Since I finally pinpointed the episode where Diaries got good, I probably didn't need to keep watching the CW's week long marathon last night, but I did anyway. "Haunted" and "162 Candles" are great episodes: excellent character development, lots of action, a few surprises. Highlights:

 

 

The AV Club released their best film performances of the decade list yesterday, and I dismissed their first entry for Anne Hathaway in Rachel Getting Married as a coincidence. But as I scrolled down as saw both Mark Ruffalo in You Can Count on Me and Laura Linney in said same movie, it was hard not to call the shout out. Didn't I just tell you guys how great they are in that movie just a couple of weeks ago? Sure did. I call shout out, even though they have been compiling their list for some time and likely unaware of my similar opinion. I am the queen of specious shout outs. Also, three makes a rule.

Last night, Dean and Sam retrieved the Colt, so Dean walked right up to the Devil and shot him in the head. Didn't take. Turns out that there five things in Creation the Colt can't kill, and Lucifer is one of them.

While it doesn't address why killing the Devil is such a great idea to begin with, it does mean we can (hopefully) move on to actually making a plan re: Armageddon instead of having the writers dropping big reveals and then ignoring the impending doom to concentrate on well acted but superfluous episodes. 

If there's one thing the Supernatural writers do well, though, it's keep consistent. No, really. Every time Lucifer tries to get someone on his side, he sticks to his "The Devil: He's Just Like Us!" tack. Wants Nick to host him? Tells him that they're both after revenge against the God who let them down. Wants Castiel to join him? They've both rebelled against Heaven! Wants Sam as his meat suit? They're both just put upon little brothers. It doesn't always work, but Mark Pellegrino's restrained performance sells it every time.

IMDb's guess the quote of the day:

Movie/TV Quote
Tom: People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated. 

I shall claim the shout out for the following three reasons:

1. Underrated is November's theme.
2. I almost always use the month's theme as the keyword when I search for a quote from IMDb to use as a title for my blog post that will link to my article of the month.
3. I am a champion of both Joseph Gordon-Levitt and (500) Days of Summer.

As you may recall, three makes a rule. Shout out!

On Monday night's Gossip Girl, Olivia (Hilary Duff) decided to show Dan's parents that she really is the shallow Hollywood starlet she believes they think her to be (yeah, lots of lies this ep), so she rolls up to the Freshmen Parents Dinner/Toast/Impossible Social Situation in a skin tight, peach Hervé Léger.

Over on Monday night's Castle, Beckett (Stana Katic) needs to remind everyone that she is a hottie in addition to a bitchin' detective, so she rolls up to Castle's book launch party in a skin tight, blue Hervé Léger.

On Gossip Girl, this sort of thing is expected. Also, TV has long conditioned me to accept that people on inside the tube wear clothes, live in houses, and drive cars far beyond their salary range, so I'm okay with Beckett's choice. But twice in one night on two different networks? What's next? Will Quinn be in tears on Glee tonight when her Herve Leger no longer fits? Will Jonathan have to solve the case of the stolen Herve Leger on Sunday's Bored to Death? Remember: twice is a coincidence; three makes a rule.