I've written before about my distaste for the hipster-y bacon trend of the past few years.  But with baconlube I think we can all agree that it's time for it to end.  Stop the madness, people.

Last Sunday night April and I were watching Boardwalk Empire when (MAJOR SPOILERS) Angela was murdered.  A short re-enacement of our reaction:

Me: "Aw, sorry about your sad life, Jimmy."

Because that bitch is too stirring up trouble. Last night’s Gossip Girl, “Juliet Doesn’t Live Here Anymore,” might actually help us get to the bottom of Juliet and Ben’s deal, features Chuck in Blair’s robe, and gives us the NJBC at its best.

Single White Trash Female

Since Juliet gets the title, let’s deal with her plot first. Nate decides to get “closure” re: Juliet by returning her shampoo and her copy of The Help. Dear Nate: There is no such thing as closure. Hugs, April. Nate goes over to the building where he forgot to fuck her that time, and the doorman informs him that no “Juliet” or “Sharp” or “Juliet Sharp” has ever lived there in the last eight years. Because Nate’s feeling more Vanderbilt than Archibald* today, he runs right over to the loft to tell Vanessa that he has realized that Juliet is a big, fat liar. Vanessa is like, “I can’t believe it took someone else this long to notice,” but that doesn’t stop them from forming an unholy alliance. In the meantime, Juliet decides to listen to Ben and calls the Dean of Freshmen’s Sex Lives for a meeting. Oh, Columbia.

For those of you just tuning into the blog (we love you, too!), here's what you've been missing so far this month in (Cult)ure proper:
Roxy Munro offers tips for keeping life sexy when there's no time for sex.

Why it doesn't matter if The Social Network is factually accurate.

Reviews of Arcade Fire, Armin van Buuren Ft. Sophie Ellis-Bextor, and Marina & the Diamonds.

Crash Course in Inner Peace: Chakras

The art and sport of vaulting demands not only strength but also grace, and, of course, a well-trained horse.    

Best Season of Mad Men Ever? From Miss Blankenship to Joan and Peggy's power in the office, Season 4 has been really boss.

In what sounds like yet another made-up-by-the-media trend, all of one teen is claiming to be involved in biting and blood exchanges to demonstrate romantic passion and intimate friendship. While the doc quoted has legit concerns about infections, let me tell you why this is preposterous:

• This is the exact kind of shit that freaks teens out, which is why vampires work so well as a metaphor for sex.
• Vamps and their human lovers don't bite each other in Twilight. Humans aren't physically able to break through vampire skin. Vamp bites mean death or vampirism. Which brings us back to human-on-human action, and that is strictly prohibited in Twilight.
• The Vampire Diaries and True Blood do feature blood exchanges, but it's really only kinky sex stuff in True Blood. And while teens no doubt watch True Blood, they, too, would be freaked out by the INSANE sex scenes. Which means that they wouldn't want to do that kind of stuff because it is too freaky.

Ergo, the entire thing is too freaky, even for freaky teens. One high school does not a trend make.

Last night's episode of True Blood, "It Hurts Me, Too," was filled with lots of important lessons: how to dispose of dead bodies, how to conceal the identities of dead bodies, how to use dead bodies to manipulate people. In addition to dead bodies, "It Hurts Me, Too" also contained the two weirdest sex scenes this show has ever had and the werewolf equivalent of Fangtasia. Show, don't ever change.

Dead Body Disposal: Find a Fresh Grave

Sookie fires her gun, but Eric jumps in the bullet's path. They need the werewolf alive to question him. The scent of Eric's blood returns the wolf to human form, and it's the same stringy haired dude from outside Merlotte's. He starts sucking down Eric's blood, but Eric manages to get the upper hand long enough to demand who his master is. They tussle. The wolf tries to bolt, so Sookie shoots him in the leg. The wolf refuses to give up his master's name, knowing he's dead either way, so Eric agrees by ripping the wolf's throat out. From the look on Eric's face after he takes a bite, werewolf tastes nasty. Eric looks up at Sookie, blood rapidly pooling, "I got your rug all wet." Dirty! Also, I can't believe the Stackhouse rez has any carpets in it, given how often they would need to be scrubbed. Hardwood flooring is the only way to go.

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS
SEX! Now that we’ve got your attention, Painted Lips and Lolly Licks: The Sexy Film Festival returns to the Mayfair Feb 13, and we want to show your movie! Any film that explores themes of sex, romance or the erotic is eligible, provided it’s 10 minutes or shorter, and submitted by Feb 5. Entries will be judged by adult film star (and friend of the Mayfair) Sasha Grey! For more information, contact festival director Lee Demarbre (lee@mayfairtheatre.ca).

 On Thursday, November 19th, the Cube Gallery in Ottawa is hosting "Magic Boxes: A Spectacular Circus of an Evening", which is promising to be an exciting silent art auction fundraiser to benefit Planned Parenthood Ottawa. The event coincides with Planned Parenthood Ottawa's 45th anniversary. Tickets are $75 each and they're limited. Maureen McTeer and Catherine Clark are co-chairs for the event. Kimothy Walker of CTV Ottawa is the host.
 
Artists have designed wooden boxes to be auctioned. Several artists are local, professional artists, however some "celebrity artists" have designed boxes, as well, including: Cathy Jones, Ashley MacIsaac, Dr. Henry Morgentaler, Maureen McTeer and Catherine Clark. A list of artists can be found on the event's blog.
 
Entertainment for the evening will feature circus acts, such as a contortionist, fire fans and hoola-hoopers.
 
The event's blog contains info about the event and where to purchase tickets.

Youth talk about sex. A recent Toronto survey concluded that parents, teachers and health professionals play a role, but when teens have questions about their sexuality "youth are most likely to talk to their friends" .

The same study discovered a disturbing decline in sexual health knowledge amongst youth, especially those under sixteen. "Despite rising STI rates creating the potential for increased HIV infection amongst youth, knowledge of the disease has declined since 1989...Knowledge about emergency contraception is often inaccurate and there continues to be confusion about how to use condoms effectively."

In Ottawa, youth are fortunate to have several programs that address such issues from a youth perspective. Insight Theatre was created by Planned Parenthood Ottawa in 1982. It harnesses the power of theatre, combined with the effectiveness of peer communication to provide teens with accurate, sex-positive information on health, relationships and a host of relevant issues. According to the Toronto Teen Sex Survey, "...youth are often the primary source of sexual information for their peers, they should be involved in the development of sexual health initiatives. This approach has been proven to be particularly effective with adolescent and youth."

Teachers often use the Insight show as an introduction to their sex-ed units. As Insight Program Coordinator, Nadine Thornhill says, "It's designed to compliment the school curriculum. The show can provide a point of reference for students once they're back in the classroom."