CHAIR! So close, and yet so far. Yup, that's about what I got out to last night's Gossip Girl, "Riding in Town Cars with Boys." Otherwise, Nate and Serena make the same plan they always make, only Dan's in this time; Ivy finally finds a reason to get out of Dodge already; and Rufus continues to be Goofus to the nth degree. Let's go over the highlights!

All you need is one

Apparently, all you need to become a super-successful newsman in NYC and the Vanderbilt’s last, great hope to lead the family is one editorial. At least that's what Nate's latest plot has taught me. Grandfather's ousted the still delicious Tripp from the position of crown prince thanks to an editorial (seriously. Because the paper isn't a daily or anything, so you only need to write one total editorial). So Tripp tattles to Nate that he isn't exactly the super-successful newsman he thinks he is, what with the Grandfather underwriting everything and putting Diana up to it. Nate is pissed, but then he forgets to be pissed because he's off to some wondrous high business/high debauchery retreat with Grandfather by the end of the episode. Also, somehow Max figures into Tripp's plans. Highlights: Toss up between Chuck telling Nate he was almost aroused by the one total editorial or the reverent look on Chuck's face when he repeats the name of the retreat (Allen Camp?). I started to wonder by boy-billionaire Bass hadn't already gotten his invite, then shuddered at the memory of the sex Narnia/Elle debacle. Except for one small part: CARTER BAIZEN! Oh, come back, I miss your pouty mouth.

Last night’s Gossip Girl, “Rhodes to Perdition,” didn’t follow up on the end of “All the Pretty Sources” even a little bit. You know, when Blair showed up at Empire and asked without really asking if Chuck was good all along, and Ed Westwick’s exquisitely expressive face did something magnificent and heartbreaking, for such is its way, and . . . and . . . Nothing. Who knows? Chuck nodded and Blair left? They had sex on top of Dan, and thus his dreams became reality? They ate bacon scones? WHO KNOWS?!

You might have thought that there was a whole other episode on last night, one about Rhodes Women and Gossip Girl called them “Rhodes Girls” because she is an idiot and doesn’t get that being a woman is kind of the point, but since there is no longer even the remotest hint of character continuity on this show, I’m almost at the point of giving up. I know I won’t, but I just want you to know that I thought about it, show. And you know what else I thought? Dair is a distraction.

I’m not much of a ‘shipper either way, but over the course of this season I’ve been coming around to the “Dan and Blair belong together” side of thinking. It’s not that I spontaneously like Dan (although there was a point when he was sitting on the stoop with Alessandra when I thought he was looking good) but rather that I could see them as a harmonious balance rather than the chaos left in Chair’s wake.