Despite the fact that I'm in my mid-twenties and headed toward my late twenties soon enough, I still watch the CW. I came of age when the network did (back when it was the WB): Buffy started when I was 13; Dawson's Creek premièred when I was 14. We have a bond. It's usually called"hotties."

I went into Melrose Place Tuesday evening expecting nothing and got the same in return. It doesn't seem like it will be the endlessly fun camp-fest of the original, and virtually none of the characters attract attention. Katie Cassidy, known to some as original recipe Ruby (Supernatural) and others as doomed Trish Wellington (Harper's Island), is the lone stand out as the truly bitchy Ella Simms, a.k.a the new Heather Locklear (compete with jokes about bad dye jobs). They've upped the ante by turning the character bi, but she's still hung up on some guy who's only got eyes for someone else. As much love as I have for Cassidy, she's not enough of a reason to stick it out. Final Verdict: Good enough when there's nothing else to do and you are bored our of your gourd. Not good enough for any other reason.

Though the Vampire Diaries books are older than Twilight and True Blood, the success of the latter two no doubt secured Kevin Williamson's adaptation a place on the CW's schedule. Fortunately for us viewers, it's just the right blend of soapy, campy, and violent. Also fortunately, no one's used the word soulmate yet. After one episode, all the characters are more vivid and interesting than everyone in the Twi-verse. Sadly, because of a little thing called "censors," they will never be as "vivid" (read: naked) as the good people of Bon Temps. But hot vampire brothers locked in a centuries long battle over a woman whose doppelgänger is already interested in at least one of them? There are worse things.
Final verdict: Assuming I never have to hear the s-word again, a full season order would do me fine. 

I cannot believe this didn't occur to me sooner. Normally I like my pop culture worlds to remains discrete (e.g. I don't spend a lot of time wondering what would happen if we got Edward some TruBlood because: Bill), but in last night's episode of True Blood (this season's penultimate), Eric did something that I knew I had seen somewhere before. To wit:

Blair's expression, while not moving in any way, somehow becomes totally terrifying. It is one of the greatest parts of this or any other episode. 

That's from Jacob's recap of The Ex Files, season 2, episode 4 of Gossip Girl.

After last night's True Blood, in which Sarah and Jason go at it in the balcony of the sanctuary at the Fellowship of the Light while Sookie and Hugo are locked up downstairs (and Godric's apparently rattling around down there somewhere) and Lorena prevents Bill from saving Sookie at Eric's behest and Daphne betrays Sam to Maryann so she can cut out his heart, I had a heart attack. At the second season's mid point, Alan Ball et al had ratcheted up so much tension that I cannot possibly watch an episode without a lot of yelling. Then, this happened:

In last night's True Blood, Sarah Newlin (right, Anna Camp) served up banana pudding for dessert when the Newlins had Jason Stackhouse (left, Ryan Kwanten) over for dinner. I know that the episode was filmed months ago and that the show is based on a series of books and that that pudding is probably laced with ruphies and evil, but I don't care. Banana pudding? Thank you for noticing June's theme, Raelle Tucker!

Sadly, I could only find a still from last week's episode, in which Jason took role playing a little too seriously and tried to stake Sarah with a flagstaff "like some Muslim Buffy with a dick." If you're not watching True Blood, you really should start.